I'm sorry.   Why do I feel like I'm always starting out my blog posts with an apology?  Oh I know, it's because I never post anymore, and I feel guilty about that.  But you know what, I feel a little lost these days. Like my priorities are a little screwed up and I'm not sure how to get them straight again.  (Curse you, pinterest, for stealing all my precious time!)  O.k. so it doesn't steal THAT much time.  And I shouldn't curse.  So, rewind, erase.

   In other news, am I the only one that feels like every chic, hip, trendy blogger out there in this wide, wonderful universe is Mormon? I mean seriously, is Mormon like the new "thing" to be?  Is it a trend, like knotting your belts and DIY crafts?  I guess I missed that train.  And frankly, it's kind of annoying me.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the funny humorisms, and the interesting fashion tips, and the cute pictures and laddi-da-da, but the whole, "I really don't believe what you believe" guardrail that keeps flinging up in my face every time I read one of their blogs is raining on my parade.

  So what is a person to do?  Not read those blogs?  Approach them about it? Witness?  For some reason all of those options seem a little pathetic.  So I'm just left feeling slightly irked and strangely unique for being a blogger who's actually NOT a Mormon.

   In other news, we just got back from a LOVELY trip to Phoenix, and I would say that I am going to post pictures soon, but let's be honest, I have no idea when that will be, and I *gasp* haven't even taken Jocelyn's 9 month ones yet, so that would come first.

   I have a love/hate relationship with this blog.  It's a wonderful outlet for my thoughts and ideas 25% of the time, it's a way to show pictures to family and friends 25% of the time, and it's a fun hobby 25% of the time.  But the OTHER 25% of the time, it's a burr.  A nag.  An annoying little mosquito whine in my ear telling me I'm neglecting something.  I'm procrastinating.  Falling behind.  A little voice whispering, "Just give it up, you'll never have an awesome blog like those Mormon girls anyway.  You'll never get 92 flippin' comments over a picture and one lousy, sappy paragraph about how your husband likes nothing more than to fold your socks."  And I almost listen.  I mean honestly, my blog is something i would LOVE to invest in.  Develop.  Commit to.  Improve.  But there are other, huge needs in my life and one starts with an R, and one starts with a J.  And they come first, folks, period.

   And then there's the small matter of falling behind in my Bible study homework while I somehow found the time to write all this....that's jut not quite right either.  And so no, I don't feel like God is watching me with a to-do list I need to cross off before I can pursue my interests....  1. Make hubby's lunch.  2. Change baby's diaper.  3. Read Bible. Etc.etc.  It's not about that.  HOWEVER, it is about putting others before myself which was commanded by, oh I don't know, JESUS.  So I should probably do that.  And so, although blogging is something I love and it drives me a hair short of crazy-beans that my blog isn't even half of what I want it to be, I'm going to have to be OK with that for now.  Because I'm going to be getting some other things in order before I invest more time and energy into this thing.  If only I could get organized, then I'm SURE it would be do-able!

    If you actually faithfully read this thing, blessed be the extent of your patience! And I truly am sorry with how sporadically I post.  I treasure each and every comment, even if I don't always reply.  (Another thing I've dropped the ball on)  Really truly, feedback and traffic makes my day.  It just means something to know that the pictures, memories, thoughts and moments I share, actually reach someone.  This blog has been a journal, a photo album, and a sounding board, and I'm better because of it.  So don't give up on me just yet.  This just isn't it's time to shine.

Thanks.