I am sure I am not the first pregnant woman to be up in the wee hours of the morning, just days before her due date, bouncing on a big, blue, birthing ball and blogging.  And I'm sure I won't be the last.

   It's just that when lying in bed all snuggled under the covers, sandwiched between pillows is no longer comfortable, than really, what is?  Might as well be editing pictures, blogging, and browsing Pinterest, if you ask me.  I had considered a long, moonlit walk to try and get things going, but then I was afraid nothing would happen anyway and I would just wish I had stayed inside where it was warm and blogged.  So here we are. :p

***Editor's note: I started this post at 2:36 am, I am finishing it up now.  I got tired of waiting on photos to load and went to bed.:)  Also, note to all you lovely pregnant ladies out there:  this should officially be your motivation to get out there at get those pictures taken with your darling little 30 week bumps, and not wait until you're a few days away from your due date and starting to get all puffy.  Although I would say in the case of maternity photos, (or any photos for that matter) it truly is better late than never.   You will never have those moments back again.***

   My dear husband obliged my wishes for one last photo shoot before Baby, and so that's what we did last night. We went into town and made an evening of it, eating at Izzy's, and grocery shopping afterwards.

   Jocelyn was such a trooper.  She had already had a long, hard day and then I was expecting a photo shoot out of her.  First, I spent most of the day over at a friend's house, learning to make soap.  She was NOT having a good morning.  She's also terrified of animals, and they have a puppy who is part St. Bernard.  You do the math.


  Then, we went to town and she got some vaccinations.  3 shots, to be exact.  Bless her soul, whenever she gets them I have to just repeat over and over to myself, "You're doing this because you love her so much.  You are trying to do what's best for her, and the baby."  But it really just feels like torture.  For me and for her, not sure who hurts more. 

 Then after all that, dragging her through a photo shoot?!  Well, that was just asking a bit much for this poor soul going on the fumes of a 30 minute nap.  But she hung in there, and was very tickled with the food at Izzy's, and her bottle, after which she promptly fell asleep in her car seat.  Needless to say though, we didn't get too many smiles out of her.





    There are many things about this pregnancy that I loved.

• Feeling her kick and tumble inside of me, wondering what a little firecracker she must be to move like that.  Can't wait to meet this new "personality".
• Having people often comment on and compliment my bump, and even more so after finding out it was another girl, and I would soon be mommy to two little sisters.
• The nervous excitement that dawns as D-day draws near...knowing I will soon be going through that intense "rite of passage" of birth.  It is such an amazing, incredible, life-changing experience, and I'm looking forward to being forever changed, once again.
• Thinking and dreaming about life with the girls, and all the fun adventures we will have together.

    Then, let's be honest, there were quite a few things I didn't love:

• Watching my body slowly but surely transform once again until I felt nearly a stranger to it.
• Missing volleyball.  And other activities.
• Feeling my energy sap from me like water from a sponge on a hot day.
• Dreading even simple daily tasks like cooking and making lunches.
• Constant backache.
• A never-ending shrinking wardrobe.
• Peeing approximately 39 times a day.  (o.k. so that's maybe an exaggeration.  I have no clue, really)

    But isn't that the beauty of it?  That it takes a little sacrifice, a lot of pain, and a tremendous amount of GIVING to bring a person into this world?  I wish I would always view life and people that way.  To give until it hurts.  To love and speak life, in spite of my weaknesses.  To put them first, and myself last.
    Can we ever begin to even grasp a fragment of the love God must have for His children?  Honestly I can't even imagine.  When Jocelyn entered the world and rested in my arms for the very first time, I felt a new level of fierce loyalty and devotion that I never even knew existed before.  Like I said, it changed me.  Not just physically and emotionally but to the depths of my core.  I entered that birth center and left, a different person.  And to think that it is only a shadow of God's love for us completely blows my mind.  How can He love us so much?  We are so undeserving.  Yet He does, and He always will.  Even beyond what I could ever offer or give to my daughters.
   And so it is with joy that I come to the end of this pregnancy.  No, the road has not been (lame pun alert) without a few bumps.  I have not always been the gracious, delightful, bubble of bliss to be around.  Just ask my dear husband.  But we have just about made it, and I am so ecstatic to be nearly finished.

The finish line is in sight.

I can do this. I can make it.

Thank-you Jesus.