I've been wanting to do this post for a long time, as it is a subject near and dear to my heart.  Maternity fashion.  Dressing the bump.  Modern mama.  Whatever you want to call it, if you've been pregnant for any amount of time, and have even the slightest interest in clothes, it can become discouraging, frustrating and downright uncomfortable in a hurry.  Nothing fits quite right, and the things that do are either your husband's old basketball t-shirts and sweats that no one wants to see you in, or clothes from Motherhood Maternity designed with a 35-year-old in mind that you don't really want to see yourself in.

   In my first pregnancy (and so far in this one), I wore my normal clothes for at least 3/4 of the time.  I just wear my normal clothes as long as I possibly can, and then mix in a few maternity items for comfort, while layering other pieces from my wardrobe.

   This way, I still feel like I retain the "old me" and don't have to transform completely into this frumpy, pregnant, mom-to-be creature, and it also saves a LOT of money.  Once again, if you've been pregnant, you quickly realize how ridiculously expensive maternity clothing is, and it's hard to spend that much on clothes you love, much less spend it on clothes you don't even really like. :(  So, without further ado, some of my maternity fashion.

   (My photo shoot was cut short by this beloved time of year we refer to as "March Madness" as the game began.  But that's o.k., thanks Shelby and Hubby for taking the photos you did! :)  And I will post more outfits later.)

30 (in two days) weeks pregnant.  Only 10 more to go!

   Here's another one with pretty much the same outfit scheme.  Dress, skinny jeans, hat.  It is my go-to type outfit for this cold, rainy, wintry weather we've been having while the rest of the world gets to experience spring.  Keeps you nice and warm and you can add/subtract sweaters or cardigans as you feel the need. 
  Here is one I can't figure out how I feel about...I love the skirt, but when I put it on, it just looks a little weird.  Is it the length?  Is it too full to wear as maternity?  I want to try it again post-baby and see if I like it better.  Any feedback is appreciated.:)
   Here we finally moved outside to some better lighting as the sun (?!!?!!?) decided to show us a rare glimpse of its face.  Minutes after these photos the clouds all rolled back in, but that little break was so nice!  Thank-you Jesus.

• If you splurge on anything, splurge on bras and shoes.  (And I need to take my own advice on this one).  Because everything else can be found second-hand or cheap, but those are two things you want GOOD QUALITY in.
• Accessorize in excess!  When you're feeling frumpy and huge, layers work miracles.  And even your comfy t-shirt will look completely different with a scarf, belt, hat and nice shoes. 
•   When you get up in the morning, put something on other than a hoodie and sweats!!!  I can't emphasize this enough.  I know you think they're the comfiest pieces of clothing that you own, but dressing in something a little nicer will give you more energy, motivation and positive thinking for the rest of the day.  You will actually get more accomplished too!  Try it and see.
• When pregnant, you don't have to necessarily think BIG.  I see women wearing things that are plain and simply too large for them, just because they're pregnant.  Think same sizes (in most things) but look for stretchy, forgiving fabrics, and longer lengths.  Anything with a high-waist works really well.
• If you're in that "Not yet a baby bump, but just looks like I ate a big burrito" stage, wear once again, lots of layers and things that draw attention elsewhere.  For example, a patterned scarf,  interesting hat or bright, bold shoes will have people looking up at your face and down at your feet, and not necessarily your mid-section.  And high-waisted skirts with a belt will hide just about anything!  

   That's all I can think of for now, if I think of some more I will include them in my next outfit post.  Although considering how long it took me to get around to doing this one,  I might have a baby by then. :p

    And in closing, if you're pregnant and find yourself sporting a bump whether it's small, medium or large, wear it proudly!!!  That is probably the best advice I can give.  Yes, I know you're uncomfortable.  Yes, I know that some days you feel like you got run over by an ice cream truck and then ate all that was inside it.  I've been there.

   But just think.  That precious life growing inside of you is an absolute miracle and a privilege that many women would give anything to have.  Let's not belittle the gift by complaining, moping around, dressing frumpily or just plain giving up.  Let's hold our heads a little higher, wear that bump with pride, and thank the good Lord that we don't have the gestational period of an elephant, which is almost two years.  Or the baby size of a baby elephant.


Have a hip, happy pregnancy.

   I was born with approximately twice the needed amount of Vitamin D to survive, as other people.  So sometimes, when I find myself waking up to yet another drizzly, dreary day, I am tempted to bemoan my fate at ending up in the rainy Northwest.  But that doesn't really do anyone any good, does it?  No, I think it's wise to combat rainy, gray, feels-like-winter-even-though-it's-supposed-to-be-spring days with an attitude of gratitude.  So here are some old, random photos, displaying some things that I am infinitely grateful for. 

1. A hard-working husband.

   I'll be honest.  When I stop for a moment and try to imagine what it would be like to be married to a man who didn't take responsibility in providing for his family, and gambled all his money away, or just spent it on other selfish pleasures before first and foremost saving up and making sure his family was well-cared for....well, I shudder, grimace, and hop happily back to reality where that is NOT the case.  Thank-you JESUS for a hard-working husband who actually likes his job, has a passion for growing his business, enjoys finance/math/numbers and all that entails, knows how to save without being too stingy, and gives generously to those in need.  So, so, so grateful.

2. Hair that somehow always looks/feels best after a certain skilled friend cuts it.  Why a salon cannot seem to bring the same desired result, I can't figure out.  Jewel Miller, move thyself and thy household WEST!  You're sick of all that sunshine in Phoenix anyway, right?



3. The ability to reproduce.:)  I am slightly convicted on this one, as it has not always struck me first and foremost as a blessing, but rather more like an inevitable outcome.  However, I am trying more and more these days to see it for the precious, priceless gift that it is, no matter what may come my way.  (Or how many may come my way;)

    But in spite of all the craziness, sleep deprivation and the hard work, I am infinitely grateful for the life God has blessed me with in Jocelyn, and the growing life inside of me.  I wouldn't change a thing.

   4. The things we were able to enjoy and do before children.  Now my selfish nature tends to think this time maybe wasn't long enough, but the point of this list is to encourage thankfulness, and that's what I'm trying to do!




   And so much more.  Yes, it's been a good life so far.  I am looking forward to whatever the future might bring!  And with all the rainy days we've been having, it looks like I will be wallowing in thankfulness for quite some time.

Not a bad place to be. :)

   Actually we've been home since late Saturday night, but I'm finally getting around to blogging. I'm not gonna lie, it's been quite the adjustment going from this.........

To this.

 What's that? A random picture off of Google images from the North Pole?  No actually it's the view from our dining room window.  On March 21st.  I'm having a hard time not being bitter.  I want to be content in whatsoever state I am, because I hear that's the thing we're supposed to do, but I'm sure I have already complained and inwardly (if not outwardly) groaned with ingratitude at this Northwesterly weather enough to have missed that goal.

   Anyway, Florida was Heavenly while it lasted.  For a short, fleeting week I soaked up every ray of sunshine I could. We seized every opportunity we could to go for a bike ride, lounge by the pool, or build a sand castle at the beach. 

    Poor Jocelyn doesn't quite know what to do with herself now that we're home and we don't even venture outside to get the mail, but rather lean out and grab it from our car windows.  And she has a cold.  The cherry on top.

   We also enjoyed seeing family, both on my side and Randy's. 
But like I said, I'm trying to learn to be content so....quick, 3 nice things about Oregon.   Besides the obvious ones, like Randy, church, family and friends. 
1. The coast.
2. Mo's.
3. No sales tax.

   O.k. that will suffice for now.  Anyway, all in all it was a wonderful trip, memories were made, sunshine was basked in, and I am so grateful for a husband who is selfless and generous and understanding enough to know how much trips like that mean to me, and is perfectly willing to let me take them.  He's a good man, that one. 

   And since we've been back, we've hit the ground running.  This week has been full so far with special meetings at church, basketball, a Dr. appointment, birthday dinner, and a snowed-in day with family. The rest of the week (if the snow doesn't cancel more things) looks like Bible study, grocery shopping, a 2nd Dr. appointment, a wedding and the Gospel Echoes auction.  Oh and the Hunger Games come out. Can't forget that. :) Not sure yet what all we'll make it to or not, we're not superhuman, after all.  But we will do our best.

   In other news, baby #2 has been turning cartwheels lately...not sure if she'll be laid-back like Jocelyn or a little wild and restless like her mama. ;)  Regardless of how she is or isn't like her big sister I am getting excited about having two little ladies in the house!  Childhood is going to be a blast but I find myself dreaming of the day when they're young adults and we can travel and go shopping and just enjoy so many womanly things....as Randy says sometimes (I think with just a touch of fear in his voice) the estrogen will be FLOWING in this house!  I mean, I would have to have 3 more kids and they'd have to all be boys before the men would outnumber the women! But I am fully confident he'll come to love it, and wonder what he EVER did without these three women in his life. :) And who really wants to lead a boring life?  Bring on the drama!!  Ok, maybe not the drama...bring on the adventure! :)  That's more like it.

   Rain or shine, sandy beach or snow drift, I truly live a blessed life.   And I never want to take it for granted.

...on a cloudy day.  I love that song. In fact, why don't you go ahead and scroll to the bottom of the page and play it, just for fun, while you read the rest of the post. 

   Why do I have sunshine on a cloudy day? Because I hopped a plane from cold, windy, blustery, dreary Oregon, and flew East to a slightly less cold and windy PA for my cousin's wedding, and then traveled on south to a sunny, balmy, and as Mary Poppins would say, "practically perfect in every way" Florida. 


   In spite of flying the dreaded red-eye flight, (left Portland at 11:30 and landed in Chicago at 5-something am, and 2 hours later flew on to PA) Jocelyn was a gem.  I am sorry if I'm bragging about my darling daughter, actually I'm not sorry.  She has been an incredibly flexible, laid-back, go-with-the-flow child, and I can "brag" all I want because it's really not bragging at all, because I'm NOT taking the credit for her personality.  I am bragging on how all-knowing and awesome my God is to bless me with a child like that, because I'm pretty sure He knows exactly what I need, and my way-faring, wandering, travel-hungry soul may have withered up and wilted a bit with a child who fell apart if we left the house.  So praise God, I have a daughter who doesn't seem too fazed by travel, red-eye flights, 18-hour road trips, strange houses, vacations with strangers, and never knowing exactly what might come next. I. Love. That. Girl.  I hope we continue to go on adventures our whole lives long.


   So I guess this song is dedicated to the Florida sunshine, my girl Jocelyn, and the happy couple that walked out to it last Saturday.  What a simple, lovely, meaningful wedding.  I loved their written-and-memorized vows, which are the way I think vows should be, personally.  I loved the song he wrote and sang to her, about "Keeping the King first" and how in their love and marriage they must remember to always keep Christ first.  You could see the love shining from their faces, and it was so genuine, so real.  What a beautiful day.

   And since we have, it's been nothing but blue skies and sand between our toes.  Talk about confirmation that you've made the right choice.;)

   We have a pool in our backyard, and when we're not busy eating or lounging around, we take a trip to the beach or go on a bike ride.  Rough life, huh?  But in all honestly, one of the best aspects of this whole trip has been discovering things about my own family, both immediate and extended. 
 
   I am a firm believer that a person cannot fully understand themselves until they understand their family.  It is so much more than just the woman that gave birth to you, the siblings that happen to look similar to you, the aunts and uncles that look like your parents, the cousins that share a special bond or the grandparents that started it all.  It runs so much deeper than that. 

   Your family is like a tapestry, and you are a thread running through it.  Pull that single thread out, and that's all you have. A thread.  Maybe it's yellow.  Maybe it's blue.  Maybe it's straight and thin, maybe it's crooked and wide.  But looking at that single thread, you can't tell very much.  Not much at all.  But stepping back and looking at the tapestry?  Now THAT is a sight to behold.

   Suddenly, patterns take shape, and colors blend.  A design emerges and whether the end result is beautiful, ugly, or just slightly strange, it makes sense.  It's a picture of a whole unit, made up of many smaller units.  And so much of who you are, and why you are the way you are, seems to slip into place.  Into a place that no longer feels foreign and mysterious to you, but known.  Familiar.  

   And trust me, it's not always a good thing.  But that's the beauty of seeing the tapestry for what it is.  You can thank God for all of its beauty, and you can cry out to God for wisdom to changes the parts that have snagged and torn, and are maybe completely unraveling.  And the most incredible part? HE CAN.  He cares about your thread, your single, seemingly insignificant, tiny thread.  He cares about it's part in the story.  And He wants to trade the worn, faded, torn, stained parts, for the rich, luxurious, fabrics He intended to use in the first place.  It's never too late, it's never impossible.

   I am so thankful, for the picture He is painting, and that I'm starting to see more than just the individual threads. 

    Well.  My friend Nicole recently posted the question,

    And I have to say, although the Mr. and I have gone on many crazy adventures and wild vacations, this up-coming one may just take the cake for last-minute-spontaneity/distance traveled.  Plus, it will just be Jocelyn and I, sans Daddy. :(  *Sad face*  I wishwishwish he could go, but we both knew it just made so much more logical sense for me to go alone, but now of course the closer I get to the day of departure the more I wonder why I ever go anywhere without the man in my life.  Things just aren't nearly as awesome without him around.

But then, in spite of missing him already, I remember why.

(Another little tidbit gleaned from Nicole's blog)

• Maybe it's because we don't live forever, and we're not even guaranteed tomorrow.
• Maybe it's because I'm pregnant with our second child, and I'm realizing that you just can't do things like this very easily with two children.  
• Maybe it's because Jocelyn will cost a full plane ticket the day after she turns 2, and so I feel like my one-ticket travel days have an expiration date on them.  
• Maybe it's because this travel-bug of mine bit a long time ago, and has never really gone away.
• Maybe it's because Jocelyn rarely gets to see her Graber and Maust families, and on this trip she'll get to see some of both. 
• Or maybe it's because I don't get to see them much.
• Maybe it's because a week in the sunshine is hard, nay, impossible for me to resist.
• Maybe it's because (while Oregon is quite lovely) sometimes it's just good to get away.

   Maybe it's for a lot of different reasons.  But that's not really the point.  The point is that I had a lot of reasons that I could stay.  (I can think of one very handsome one.) There were a lot of reasons not to go, but I am going.  I am carpe diem-ing.  And I refuse to reach the end of my life with a boat-load of "I wish"es or "What if"s.  
   
   2nd part of Nicole's question was "how do you and your hubby make these decisions together?"  Well, to be honest, normally our getaways consist of him brainstorming and planning, and surprising the socks off of me with all that he has lined up for us.  Most of our trips have been that way.  I'd say we're perfect for each other because he likes to plan, and I like to travel. :) Win-win.
  
   But this time, it was more like, "Honey, I have this crazy notion to go to that wedding after all...."  And then later on, "Honey, I have an even crazier idea...."  and then it all just sort of fell into place.   Do I wish my husband was going? D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y.  But I am just thankful to the Lord above for a wonderful, generous husband who knows what time with family means to me, and fully supports (and encourages) me going, even if he can't.  

Seriously, how did I get so lucky?

   I can hardly wait to meet this second little Smucker girl.  Will she look like Jocelyn?  Will she look completely different?  Will she have red hair? Freckles?  Will she come early, or late like her big sister?  Will she be quiet and laid-back, or a little firecracker?  I can't wait to get to know her.  I can't wait to realize that my heart is being completely stolen by her emerging personality like it did with her big sister.  I can't wait to watch them get to know each other.  I can't wait to watch Randy be an even more amazing Daddy to "his girls".  I can't wait for so, so many things. 

Hurry and get here, little dear.

   And just for fun, a song about sisters from one of the best musicals of all time.  And of course the goofy guys spoofing it that helped make it famous.  Enjoy.

   It's 5 minute Friday over at the Gypsy Mama again, and this time she told us to write about "Ache".  We're supposed to just write.  No editing, no over-thinking, just let the words flow and see what comes.  So here goes.

Ache.  I ache for many things.  I'm sure I'm not alone in this.  Young married women, new moms, daughters, sisters, grandmas....in whichever category you find yourself you ache for things.   Whether it's unrealized goals and ambitions or unmet longings, we all have them.

   For me, they have taken on a slightly different form.  Now instead of only aching for my own dreams/hopes/plans, I ache for someone. I ache for a little girl to want to know me.  I ache for her friendship, her loyalty, her trust.  I ache for her to desire to be Godly and feminine and beautiful.  I ache for her to find her feet in this unstable world.  I ache for her to be a shining light in the darkness.


   I knew the moment I held her that ache would be a part of my life forever.  It washed over me like a tidal wave as I lifted her up into my arms and caught her close to my heart and breathed in her sweet scent.  That ache, so pounding and furious in the first few moments of her existence outside the womb, would never leave me.  It is a silent weight that mothers carry, their aches for their child.  It may hold different forms and appear very different from person to person.  Some may not know what to do with their ache, and they lash out or push their loved ones away.

*Time over*

Well that's all for now!  Happy Friday everyone.