Frame of Mind

Tomorrow is a new day.

2012-02-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

One of my dear commenters, (and I SO appreciate all of you dearly) suggested after my last post that I follow-up with what God had done/is doing in my life. And I think she was right. It was a little hard to hear at the time, I will be perfectly honest. Like that whole, "I just want to be able to vent when it's rough and it hurts and it's hard, and not think about any 'BUT THEN, THE LIGHT CAME' moments, I just want to write" feeling.
But like I said, she was right.

   So here are some verses God gave me today, found compiled in Beth Moore's book, Praying God's Word. Such a wonderful book. It just seems to have something for me every time I turn a page. And that's probably because it's mostly Bible verses, but it's just so nice to have them categorized in ways pertaining to what you might be going through at that particular time. Anyway, a few that have spoken to me recently are:

Psalm 43:3
    "Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell."

Psalm 143:8
   "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

Lamentations 3:22-24
   "My faithful God, help me to call this to mind and therefore always have hope...because of your great love, I am not consumed, for your compassions never fail. They are new...every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, the Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him."

   She adds some of her personal thoughts/comments to the verses, because they are written down as prayers, not necessarily verses quoted word-for-word. It is so useful to personalize them, and pray them in that way. It makes them seem more pertinent to life, and more meaningful.

   Life is good. I won't pretend that it feels that way every moment, or that I remember to be thankful for it every day, but it is. I am so richly blessed. God is faithful, and He is always there for me. This time of year is always a struggle for me. The weather is so cold, wet, dreary and un-sunny, that it tends to suck the life right out of me. I find myself day-dreaming about escaping to a tropical land, or wondering what it would be like to live somewhere else altogether. Not to mention the never-ending list of questions that pounds through my brain at night when I try to fall asleep, like I mentioned in the previous post. But I am trying to recognize this struggle for what it is....a season. A time. It's not my life. It's not me. It's a journey. And just like any other part of life, it has twists and turns, ups and downs, highs and lows. I am learning. Slowly, but surely.

   So thank-you readers, for allowing me to be real, but also for encouraging me to share the light, and not just the darkness.

One of those days.

2012-02-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

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   I'm really not sure what to write. I'm afraid anything I would say right now would be fairly pessimistic, or discouraging, or just plain depressing.

It was just one of those days.

   The kind that started out bad, got worse, got really bad BEFORE it got worse, and then tapered off to a basically miserable. Am I alone? Do any of you have those days?

If I'm not alone, and you have had those days, then you know what kind I'm talking about.

   It's the kind that makes you worry, fear, doubt, and basically question everything about your life. Not in any particular order, but things like:

Was I right in what I said?
Were they wrong?
Did they know what I meant?
Does anyone (other than Randy) really GET me?
Am I heard?
Do I matter?
Is my life worthwhile?
Am I seen?
Do I have an irreplaceable role to play?
Did we have a baby too soon?
Did we get to be "newlyweds" enough?
Are we having kids too close together?
Will I be able to do this whole mom-of-two thing?
Will I lose myself in being "Mom"?
Will I ever get to accomplish some of my dreams?
Will I ever see those places I want to see?
When my life comes to an end, will it feel fulfilled?
Will my children be friends?
Will they be friends with me?
Do I even know what I want?
Do I want the right things?
Am I too scared of failure to dream?
Will I turn into the very person I avoid becoming?
Will I ever become who I want to be?
Will I even know if/when I have?
Who does God want me to be?
Will Randy and I lose ourselves in the "American dream"?
Is there something we're overlooking and shouldn't be?
Are our priorities right?
Will my children rise one day and call me blessed?

As you can see, this could go on and on and on, so I will stop. I don't know the answers to these questions, and I don't know if I ever will. Part of me hates to even write them down, because then of course that makes me look like I don't have it all together, and we all know how much we hate that. No one wants to make themselves vulnerable, and that's precisely what voicing thoughts like these does. It leaves me wide open. You can analyze, criticize, theorize, and basically do anything you want with them. That's scary. But sometimes it feels like the alternative is keeping it all inside until something explodes, and so I guess it's worth a try.

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Tomorrow is a new day.

Tunes for tots.

2012-02-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

   Have you all discovered Pandora radio yet? It's so great. Especially handy for technologically-challenged people like myself, who don't take the time to figure out how to download/purchase music for their iPod, or put music on their phone. You just create a radio station and push play. You can choose from one of their many genres, or create one based on a favorite song or artist.

   The station I'm especially enjoying these days is called "Children's Indie", which is basically a lot of fun, folksy, kid-friendly songs. Its catchy tunes have me singing along instead of wanting to put my head in a blender like some other children's music can.

   The only unfortunate thing, is the absence of "Christian" songs. It's still a great station and I like a lot of the songs, I just wish I could find a Christian station for children's songs that is comparable in talent. I have a Steve Green kid's cd which is great, (because it's a classic that I grew up with, and it makes me very nostalgic) and a "Hidden in my Heart, Lullaby Journey through the Scriptures" cd that I love. But not much more than that. I mean, come on, there are a lot of great Christian musicians out there, why aren't they writing great Christian songs? Are we seriously going to be relegated to singing "Deep and Wide" and "This is the Day" for the rest of our lives? Surely there is some new material out there that we can come up with.

There's got to be. I mean, I refuse to let bands with names like "Barenaked Ladies" have the market cornered on catchy children's music. Because let's be honest, your kids aren't stupid, and they're going to figure out what sounds good, whether or not you want them to. And this song, "Pollywog in a Bog" by the aforementioned band is downright contagious. Like, ridiculously toe-tapping. And catchy. And silly. And pretty much everything a kid would love. So my question is, why can't some Christian artists crank out something this addicting? Come on, people! Hmm, maybe if I want it to happen so badly, it means I have to do it...oh dear.

In the meantime, I am thoroughly enjoying these songs that Pandora helped me discover:

Well, that's all for now folks, it's somebody's bedtime. Sweet dreams.

Gearing up for baby.

2012-02-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a done deal. I got me a recliner. That's right, recliner, not glider. Because after MUCH contemplation, online browsing and hair tearing, I realized that my tastes didn't exactly line up with what we hoped to spend. Actually that's not true. TWO different gliders pleased both my taste and my wallet, but they were out of stock. Not happy. The rest of the gliders that I actually liked the look of, fell into the category of "positively ridiculous" like the Monte Luca (pictured below), which rings up at a whopping $995, and that just seems downright silly to me.

    Plus, the more I looked at modern gliders like this one, the more I started to wonder if they were actually comfortable. Stylish? Glamorous? Gorgeous? Sure. But comfortable? I couldn't be sure. And then I sat in a very humble recliner at a furniture store that came to a FRACTION of the cost of a modern glider, and suddenly, I knew. Knew that I was putting form before function, and letting myself get carried away with a notion of modern glam in my nursery, and it was all getting a bit out of hand. So we purchased it, and husband and I both are quite pleased with it.:)

   My mom always told me (rather, complained) that I had expensive tastes. I disagreed. I always bought second-hand clothes, drove a cheap\old car, ordered off the value menu and rarely ever splurged. Even my husband would try hard to convince me to spend more on shoes. Just let that soak in for a little bit.

   But I have come to realize, Mom was right. (You reading this mom?:) When it comes to all things B-A-B-Y, I have expensive tastes. Even more so than for myself. I'm not sure how that all works, but that's just the way it is. For example, I've never even remotely DESIRED a Coach, Louis Vuitton or D&G bag, but when it comes to diaper bags, I get a little weak in the knees.

   But hey, I figured with the money we saved on getting a much cheaper chair, this diaper bag was technically free!

At least that's what I like to tell myself. ;) I'll let you know if it's as amazing in real life as it is in my dreams.

Growing too fast.

2012-02-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday. What did you do with your middle-of-the-week day? Mine was a little mundane. Breakfast, shopping in town, housework while Jossi napped, made spaghetti for dinner, finished up this post and next on the agenda is devotions. I like to start my day out with my quiet time, but it just seems to hardly ever happen that way.

But today I find myself wondering, do I see the beauty in each day? Whether it's ground-breaking or mundane, am I cherishing the moments that I have with Jocelyn that are gifts of today and only today, and that are gone tomorrow? I hope I never forget:

The way she says "hi" to strangers over and over in the store, much to their delight.
The expression on her face when Daddy comes home.
The voices she uses when talking to her babies.
The way she snuggles and puts her head on my shoulder right after she wakes up. I absolutely cannot get enough of her after she's just woken up.
The pure joy she gets out of something as simple as a bath.

I got tears in my eyes watching this clip of our little cherub, from so very long ago. I just want to reach back through time and kiss those chubby little cheeks, and wrap my hands around her skinny little arms.

I wonder, was I tired that day? Did it feel like a weary morning? Was I hoping that she would hurry up and grow to the point of sleeping in a little longer? I wonder if I knew what a gift I had in those fleeting moments. Such treasures, those little memories caught on camera. They are here one second, and gone the next, like sand in an hourglass.

Where has the time gone? And someone tell me how she morphed from a tiny little quiet thing into an active little mover who crawls, says words, giggles, and waves. And with each passing day she gives us a little more of a glimpse into her very own, unique, individual personality. And so far, it's so beautiful it takes my breath away.

Time, dear time, won't you please slow down?

Bloglovin'.

2012-02-06T23:26:00.001-08:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin!

I'm trying to act like a real live bloggity person and so now you can follow me on bloglovin'. If you like to look at blogs on your phone, iPod, laptop, etc., this is a handy-dandy thing to have. I haven't even figured it all out yet but I already like it. Gathers all those blogs into one tidy little place for your reading pleasure. So head on over there, follow my blog and make my day.

G'nite!

Glider-brain.

2012-02-06T14:22:00.000-08:00

So tell me, what's on your mind? Would you like to know what is currently on mine? No? Bummer, because I already wrote out a whole post about it. Oh well, take it or leave it.

Glidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersglidersgliders.

Do any of you have any idea how hard it is to buy a glider? It is hard. Very hard. Especially hard when you have a disease like me, and that disease has a name. "Indecision". I'm also suffering from strains of "Picky" "Expensive tastes" and "Frugal is my Middle Name". Have you ever tried having very expensive tastes while being very frugal at heart? Talk about a conflict of interests.

source for all photos

So this all results in me browsing the wide world web for hours and hours, and my dear husband sighing and telling me to JUST PICK ONE while I continue looking at gliders until I've seen every one in existence at least 2.3 times, and keep looking at sites like Land of Nod, Pottery Barn Kids and Serena and Lily even though I would never have the guts to purchase anything from there, regardless of how filthy rich I was. And that was a long sentence.

My issue is, I don't want to spend over a certain amount, and I want something comfortable and stylish. It doesn't sound like those are outlandish, lofty aspirations, but for some reason, it effectively elimantes 99.999999% of the gliders in the known universe. Funny, but that same strain of reasoning eliminates most household items. And diaper bags. And shoes. Hmm...maybe I AM the problem....

By the end of this week, I will have purchased a glider. I am not letting myself back out of this one. It's ridiculous. We keep rocking Jossi to sleep on our feet, and for a 21-week pregnant woman, or anyone in general who's remotely tired, that's just not really a pleasant option. So, no looking back, this week is the week.

Wish me luck.

TGIF

2012-02-03T23:49:00.000-08:00

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   Computer froze up and I just lost what I had typed out, and it would take too long to re-write, so I will briefly summarize.

Wednesday had me feeling completely defeated.

Thursday, was a complete turn-around. Thank-you Jesus.

Today, I woke up at 8:22ish, and Jocelyn didn't wake up for another hour (which NEVER happens!) and so I got an hour of God time without even having to get up early. I didn't know if I should feel deliriously grateful or guilty. Nevertheless, it was just what I needed, and I thought I'd share just a bit with you.

   Now, before I begin, some of you may shy away from the word "stronghold". It may seem too dramatic, and is something you don't want to think about or deal with because you're pretty confidant that there isn't any of that in your life, or if there is, you're not sure what to do about it anyway. Well, I'll just be honest and say that there is one (probably more, but one specifically) that I deal with often. I'm not going to go into what it is, but it is there.

   Thankfully, God has blessed me with wonderful friends and women in my life who speak life to me, and pray for me, and pass books on to me that happen to be just what I need at just the right time. What would I do without those people in my life?

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Anyway, the following are notes I either copied or paraphrased from Beth Moore's book, Breaking Free. Thought I might pass them along, since they spoke life to me.

Signs of a stronghold:

It consumes our emotional + mental energy.
It strangles abundant life.
It causes our callings to remain unfulfilled and our believing lives to be rendered ineffective.
It "pretends" to be bigger + more powerful than God.

     The primary battlefield is the mind. Why? Because the most effective way to influence behavior is to influence thinking. And our only weapons are the Word of God, and praying in the Spirit. And as long as our minds rehearse the strength of our stronghold more than the strength of our God, we will be impotent. The most monumental leap toward freedom is a leap to our knees.

   She then goes on to list Scriptures (most of the book is excerpts of Scripture, which is one of the things I love most about it) that you can pray to combat your mind dwelling on a stronghold. It's just what I've been looking for. Scriptures listed out in one place to pray and to focus on, rather than the turmoil in my mind. Fear, doubt, jealousy....whatever it may be. I want to replace it with the Word.

   I am so far from where I want to be. Sometimes I look at Jocelyn, stumbling along behind her "walking toy" her wobbly legs taking shaking little steps, and I feel pitifully the same. As if somehow, in spite of the fact that I have been a Christian for approximately 20 years, I'm still a little child. But I'm tired of focusing on who I'm not, and where I'm not. That's where the devil wants me dwelling. I am on a journey, and if tomorrow is leap in the right direction, great! But if it's just a microscopic stutter step, than that's great too.

Because at least I'm moving, and not standing still.

One of those days.

2012-02-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

Just call me Alexander.

Retreat, refresh, repeat.

2012-01-31T16:58:00.000-08:00

Before reading, go ahead and scroll down to the bottom of the post and play the song by Starfield. I heard this song today and it reminded me of the retreat and the soul-searching that took place there. It is hard to put into words much more detail than that, so I guess I'll leave it at that.

I guess January was the month for "getting away" which is fine by me. As far as winters are concerned, let's just say that I wouldn't mind either "getting away" or hibernating for approximately 98% of the duration of the season. Oh and that goes for spring too. Basically, wake me up when it's summer. :p I was born for 75-80 degree weather year-round, and apparently destined to live in the wrong climate. But who's complaining?

This past weekend was the annual Sunday school retreat at the coast, and it was delightful. There were a lot of people there, although I did not get a full count. Our entire Sunday school class is 60+ people, and so even though everyone didn't make it, it was a large group.

Panoramic photo credit--Jess Ropp

Time was spent in a variety of ways.....

Mini-golfing, which Brandon & Cindy dominated. I think they play in their spare time. (which they have TONS of with a 4 yr. old and 1 yr. old twins.;)

Heart-to-hearts by the fireside, possibly my favorite thing to do.

Board games and table games, like the infamous Dutch Blitz.

And of course, enjoying the beautiful day by walking along the beach.

Jordan & Seneca

Brandon & Jen

Brandon & Cindy

   After coming home, my body was weary, but my soul was refreshed. And isn’t that one of the greatest feelings? There were two sessions by Pastor Phil, the first one was about “Is the Holy Spirit enough?” Which has challenged me in a lot of ways, and awakened a heart cry I wasn't even aware of before. First of all, He already is enough, whether or not we even recognize it. Whether we are Christians or atheists, He is enough.   But the question is, is He enough in my life? Am I living that out? Starting each day with that being my waking thought? Taking ahold of that and clinging for dear life to in the dark times? Because if everything else was stripped away, He would be enough. But do I LIVE IT?

   The second session was more of a personal testimony from Phil about being a pastor and a shepherd, and then also some encouragement/challenges to be fully involved in church, and at the same time, avoid getting burned out. I am so excited to see what God has in store for our church. There is a lot of young families there, and I sense a yearning in all of our hearts for God to move, and move in a mighty way.

   We enjoyed our time there with friends, savoring the rare opportunity to connect with no distractions, children, or myriad of other responsibilities pressing in on every side. It was hard to leave Jocelyn for the 2nd weekend in a row, but looking back, I think it was the right thing to do. She had a wonderful time with her cousins and Auntie Shannon & Uncle Konrad, and we had a wonderful time as well. Win-win.:) All in all, it was a wonderful time of soul-food, good fellowship, and precious memories.

I hope you all had just as blessed of a weekend, and even a little more.

2nd babymoon, part 2.

2012-01-30T17:37:00.000-08:00

Here are a few more glimpses into our 2nd babymoon to L.A., California. We had beautiful weather for parts of the time, and it poured rain on the day we left, so that made returning to "real life" a little easier. :) Highlights were....

Walking all over and seeing the sights with my dearest friend.
A delicious tea latte. How had I never had one before?!
Mars Hill campus Sunday morning.
Working out Monday morning.
Shopping.
Staying up late, and sleeping in, just because we could, obviously.

A friend (Tina) said that palm trees and sunshine are just the best combination, and I guess I hadn't really thought about it much until then, but she's right. There is just something about them that automatically lifts my spirits!

Famous Chinese theater.

"Walk of fame", or whatever the sidewalks of stars are called.:)

Happened to run into Captain Jack Sparrow. No big deal.

Also at the wax museum, we discovered that Tom Cruise is quite short.

And Jack Black isn't THAT funny.

This strange guy at a bus stop told me that "Life is like a box of chocolates. Ya never know what you're gonna get." And you know what? He's right.

Steve Carell was pretty serious too.

This one's for my dad and brothers...Indiana Jones!

Later, at the Guinness Book of World Records museum, Randy got to see what it felt like to stand in the largest man's shoes.

Famous Kodak theater, where they roll the red carpet out right into the street, and all the celebrities come to attend award shows.

The Hollywood sign

We took a tour a saw celebrity's homes...I can't remember now which pictures are whose, but remember a few. The one pictured above is the actual room where Michael Jackson died.

I forget this one...

Fuzzy, but cool mailbox of the home of a famous artist.

Demi Moore's house

Jessica Alba's

Janet Jackson's, I believe.

We ate at a charming Italian restaurant that was famous for it's well-known patrons, like Marilyn Monroe. The waiters and waitresses were all singers as well, and would randomly join the live piano player for a song. The food was excellent as well; it was lovely.

Later that evening we walked where the celebrities had put their hand prints and foot prints in the cement, and signed their names.

And just a few from Instagram:

    Thanks Love, for planning the whole thing, complete with babysitting, before telling me what we were doing. You are the one that keeps the spontaneity alive in our marriage. I am far too often the stick in the mud. You continually teach me that it's possible to be a great mom AND leave your little one behind every once in a while. And Jocelyn had a lovely time with her Grandma anyway. We needed that get away, you and I. We are still young and need to live like it every now and then. If we don't, we will get swallowed up by the groceries and the cleaning and the laundry and the bills and the never-ending to-do lists. And one day we will realize we got old anyway and never actually took those trips we were always "meaning to". I just love how doing things like this is so important to you, because it is important to me.

Here's to many more getaways together.....*cheers*.

Babymoon #2.

2012-01-26T22:47:00.000-08:00

Sigh.

I had been doing pretty well up until now, even posting three times in one week! (Un-heard of.) But then the hubs and I went on a little getaway, and I'm finding myself behind in my blogging again. I may only get one done this week, and that's bad. I think sometimes the biggest hinderance is not the time issue, but rather the "not-feeling-like-downloading-or-editing-pictures" issue. So basically laziness. Shame on me.

Here's one off of Google images because I am THAT lame. The rest are mine though.

Balboa Island

Here was a charming (albeit touristy) island that we walked around one evening. It was lined with lots of cute little shops and places to eat. Other things on our agenda in the sunny state of California:

Eating good food.

Walking around Hollywood, seeing the wax museum and The Guiness Book of Records museum, and taking a tour of celebrity homes in Beverly Hills.

Attending church Sunday morning at a Mars Hill campus and hearing a sermon entitled "Friend with Benefits" based on this book and series about marriage. SO good.

Shopping. And more shopping. The shopping was great, and it was positively therapeutic to be able to browse, try on things and purchase them with no little, darling distractions.:) Oh and while we were shopping, someone approached Randy and offered him two free tickets (they had a few seats to fill) to an all-exclusive premiere of the Cirque Du Soliel movie. So we got to be part of of the first audience of anyone, anywhere to see it. In 3-D. For free. Very cool.

And kicking back in a sweet hotel. The whole trip was so relaxing and rejuvenating. Having kids is awesome, because in a sense, it can make you feel like a kid again. Because as a young adult, or even a newlywed, you start to take for granted the ability to travel, throw money around, and stay up til all hours of the night. But becoming a parent sort of brings you back down to the real world in one fell swoop. But then the beautiful part is when you leave your child behind, and you escape on a little getaway, it all comes rushing back. Only this time, you KNOW just what you were taking for granted before, and you are even more thankful for the opportunity to be young and reckless. It's a beautiful thing.

Anyway, more pictures to come later. Hopefully. No promises though. We're off again tomorrow for the weekend. I promise this doesn't happen every weekend, it just so happens that we have two weekend trips planned back-to-back. It's our annual Sunday school's class retreat to Twin Rocks camp. I am very much looking forward to it! I'm loving the way this rainy, dreary January is flying by.

One more thing before I leave, Bible study this morning was just what the doctor ordered. Everyone took some time to share about what God was doing in their lives, and it was so meaningful. I so appreciate our church and the people there, and the way they have opened up their arms to us. I feel so at home there. I didn't know if that would happen or not, but it has. It was a God-send to us in a very specific time of our lives, and I feel so grateful to be a part of it.

O.k. I think that's all for now. Take care all, and if I don't see you tomorrow, have a great weekend!

Daddy's little girl.

2012-01-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

Someone sure loves their Daddy.

And if I'm not mistaken, someone sure loves being Daddy to a little girl.

   There is nothing quite like watching these two together. He is so silly and sweet with her, it just melts my heart a little.

He's always been able to get the craziest sounds and giggles out of her.

"Da-da" were her first words.

She gets so excited each day when he comes home from work and walks in the door.

I can tell already she thinks he's basically the coolest guy on the planet.

   So many emotions raising a little girl. Thinking of her becoming a woman one day, giving her heart away, maybe getting her heart broken....it raises something fierce within me. Something that wants to put it all on hold and say, "No! Not you. Not my little Joss. You will always be my baby girl. My baby girl. I refuse to let this world taint you. I refuse to let anyone even come close to hurting you. I refuse to let you go."

And the very next moment it has me so excited to see the woman she will become. To see what shape her goals and dreams will take, and just where they will lead her. To experience travel and adventure and new journeys with her. To take her shopping and to concerts and to church and to the beach and anywhere, really, because wherever we are together will be a party. Excited for late night talks and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and painting our toenails and laughing til our sides hurt.

   Too idealistic? My head's in the clouds? I'm in for a rude awakening right around her 14th birthday? I'm a parent, not a "friend"? Say what you will, but I can dream. I can hope, and I don't think we can ever hope/dream/desire too high with our children. Who makes these rules anyway? Who says that's the way it has to be? That all teenage girls will start to think their Dad is dorky and their Mom is annoying? It's not over yet. It's only just begun.

   Thank-you Jesus for the blessing, the treasure of a little girl.

The Very First Birthday ever.

2012-01-19T23:56:00.000-08:00

(Well you know, except for the birth-day, when she was born, but we're really not being that technical.)

Finally. After a long, grueling saga of memory cards that wouldn't read, and computers that wouldn't recognize flash drives, I was finally able to somehow transport the pictures from my camera to my computer and wah-lah, we're in business! Finally.

Ug. This whole experience has rather discouraged me from using my camera, and to be honest, I haven't taken pictures of Joss in a lo-o-ong time. So I caved and went to JCPenny the other day and got some taken. Ug again. I dislike studio pictures. I don't like their poses, or their props, or their photographers, but hey. We do what we can.

It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was setting up for this party..."This is the first party EVER, that I get to throw, as a mom. What a privilege! What a responsibility!" I was just floored for a moment soaking that all in. Randy, bless his heart, took most of the pictures at the party because I was either dashing around like a madwoman refilling platters or hovering over the birthday girl trying to get her to try her cake. Speaking of the birthday girl, without further ado, here is Jocelyn Kate's first birthday, from her point of view.

I know what you're thinking. Mommy is cheesing, and I look scared. But try and cut us some slack. Mommy was working like crazy all day on the party, and hardly had time to pee, much less play with me. And so when the guests started to arrive, I was a little grouchy, and she was a little frazzled.

Some of the my-size guests included cousins Annika, Elissa, Benson and Carson, and friend Sydney in the middle. It was so fun having them there!

Cousin Madison was there too, she's my little partner in crime.

And can't forget Liesl! She's just a tiny bit older than me.

Some of the moms chatting. I don't know what they were talking about, but probably: "Oh I just love being Mom to a sweet little girl." "You too?! I was just thinking the same thing!"

And some of the Dads chatting, probably saying: "Do you think we'll be able to eat soon?" "Mmm, I smell something delicious..."

Mommy made lots of food, most of which I couldn't eat. But it smelled nice! I don't know what they were all called, and so she wrote the menu. ~Crescent wrapped smokies, Hot ham and cheese sliders with a poppy-seed glaze, a holiday cheese ball with crackers, veggie tray and punch.

Chocolate dipped strawberries, cupcakes, cookies, candies, and Bonnie's famous peppermint fudge.~ Thanks, Mommy!

Uncle Kevin & Aunt Jessi snuggling.

Uncle Justin and Uncle Shelby looking at a yearbook of my life so far that Mommy made.

Cupcake toppers that Aunt Stephanie and Mommy slaved over for a long time. They looked nice, but you couldn't eat them.

Grandma's peppermint fudge! I hear this stuff is legendary.

I like to call this little project the "mural of me." It's in my room now, and I just love pointing to all the pictures and oohing and ahhing.

My cake!

Hooray! I'm finally one.

Hmm, not what I was expecting. It's so sticky and sweet and even though it looks like mashed potatoes, it tastes completely different!

Do I have to eat it?

It looks to me like they're playing a game where they all point a finger at someone else, but Mommy said it's called "debating".

Then it was time for presents. Everyone was staring at me with such rapt anticipation it was a little intimidating.

So Mommy helped me open them, as I wasn't too sure of what to do.

 Mommy:)

Daddy:)

Daddy entertaining the guests.

Aunt Shannon and Grandma helping Mommy with food.

All in all, it was a wonderful party and I can't wait to do it all over again next year. I have a feeling my parties in the future may be a little over-the-top because Mommy will always be trying to compensate for the fact that it's so close to Christmas. I don't mind. She can compensate all she wants.:)

Let's see, what are some things I've learned in one whole year of life on this Earth:

Cheese is the yummiest.
Getting your hair done is SO overrated.
Little baby dolls are the best. I kiss them, I hug them, I hold them tight at night, I kind of want to eat them.
My little kitchen from Grandma S. and dishes and fake food from Grandma G. are awesome.
The best clothes are...no clothes!
Bathtimes = funtimes.
Daddy & Mommy are crazy about me.

In other exciting news, tomorrow I get to go spend the next three days at Grandma's house! I am excited but Mommy rocked me a little extra long tonight and tucked me in real tight, like she was sad or something. I would be sad too if I didn't get to stay at Grandma's, poor Mom and Dad. They're missing out on so much fun. Oh well. They will just have to learn that they don't always get to do the fun things. Sometimes it's my turn!

Well, goodnight world.

Monday musings.

2012-01-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

Last night I could hardly sleep because my brain was going at about 80 mph, in spite of the fact that my body was lying perfectly still. I would honestly rather be working up a sweat than festering in that state. I can hardly stand it when my body and my will and my emotions all want to GO TO SLEEP, but my brain insists on running a marathon. It's exhausting. So sometimes I need to spill some of it out in order to get my brain to relax. Ug.

Anyway, I can't even remember half of what was coursing through my mind last night, but I'll share some of the things that are now.

Baby names. Sigh. If you know me at all, than you probably already know this is a Big Deal to me. I labor over names, poring over lists, rifling through books, and spending countless hours online eliminating one after the other because they are just too girly or not girly enough, or not masculine enough, or too made-up-sounding, or too trendy or too extreme, or too common, or too plain, or too fancy, or too...you get the picture.

I am sensitive to names that trigger memories of people I once knew. I am sensitive to using the same first letters for our children because I come from a family of 7 and we all start with "Sh". I am sensitive to 3-syllable names now, because we named our firstborn Jocelyn and I'm afraid I'll just want to shorten it the rest of her life. I am sensitive to meanings, to connotations, to nicknames, to the way it looks and the image it conjures. In fact, I don't know if I know anyone else as paranoid about names as I am.

Then there's home decor. All the things I need to do, want to do, dream of doing...all rattling around in that roomy head of mine.

Then there's this insatiable craving for sweaters lately, and anything that looks warm enough to make you sweat, because our house is so cold!

And I desperately ~~need~~ want/long/wish for a new pair of glasses:

And so much more. I was inspired by this blogger to write out a schedule for my day to help give it some structure, and that is JUST what I need. So I did. And I was SHOCKED to find several spare hours that are just floating around, unused. It's amazing how we will piddle away time when it's not assigned to anything. So hopefully soon, that's about to change.

And I suppose I was reminded by this blogger that sometimes a few pins from Pinterest can sum it up best. Anyway, must run. Sleep to be had. Blog to be posted. Speaking of which, all the pictures and the links that they were from can be found here, on my Pinterest boards. Feel free to follow!

Nite nite.

TGIF.

2012-01-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

It's Friday, and I'm thinking about starting a series of sorts on my blog. TGIF (Thank God it's Friday) will also stand for (The God Inspired Forum). Not that I am saying that my blogging is inspired of God, but rather, the things I will be rambling about on Fridays will be about/pertaining to/having something to do with God, His Word, or a God-moment that happened that week. And the forum part stands for hopefully what it will become. More of a chat and discussion than just rambling from me. That way, hopefully, no matter how the week has gone, we can end it on a good note. Or a God-note. O.k. now it's just getting cheesy.

I am ~~attempting to~~ going to read through the Bible this year. I haven't ever done that, and this will be the year. I must say, the reading plan on my iPhone is making it ridiculously easy. No matter where I am, I can just open it up and read it anywhere, and it's right where I left off. Very nice. But when I have time to sit down and jot down notes with it, it's even better.

source

   Today we will be talking about Job. I am reading a chronological plan, which means reading through the Bible in the order the events actually occurred, not necessarily the order in which they were written. And that is the reason that I'm in Job, even though its only January 13.

   Talk about a fascinating book! Not one I've paid a lot of attention to in the past, but it is so interesting. Scene one, you meet Job. "There once was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless—a man of complete integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil."(vs.1) He's wealthy. He's got lots of stuff. Life is good.

   Scene 2, we meet the devil. He's talking with God and God is talking about how blameless Job is. You know the story. The devil thinks he only loves God because of all his blessings, so God allows him to test him, and in one day, he loses everything except his health. But then he loses that too.   And so in the following chapters there is a lot of "Why me?" going on. He never loses faith in God, but there is some bitter complaining. But cut the guy some slack, he just lost everything.

   But his so-called friends and their response is what amazes me in this story. They are 100% convinced that what has happened to him has happened to him because of his sin and he is completely deserving of his "punishment" and more. And when Job tries to tell them he has done no wrong, they shout accusations like, "How can a mortal be innocent before God?" "Can anyone born of a woman be pure?" "My experience shows that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same." "If you pray to God and seek the favor of the Almighty and if you are pure and live with integrity, He will surely rise up and restore your happy home."

   I think they meant well. I think they honestly believed they were right, and poor Job was wrong. I think they felt very wise, knowledgeable, righteous, justified, and very...well...right. But they weren't. They were wrong.

   Job tried to stick up for himself. Saying "I will never concede that you are right; I will defend my integrity until I die." "Even now my witness is in Heaven. My advocate is there on high." "You must defend my innocence, O God, since no one else will stand up for me." And he isn't saying these things out of line. I mean, Job is blameless. He doesn't just think he is, or pretend he is, he is. God said he is.

   And then, when Job has already had more than he can take from his "friends", a new character comes on the scene named Elihu, and boy does Elihu think pretty highly of himself. He talks about how wise and all-knowing he is and then basically preaches to Job for several chapters about who God is, and all that he is saying is technically true and right about God, but He couldn't be more off-track. That is scary to me. That sometimes there can be Elihus in our lives, and they sound so smart, and know their Bible, and condemn us, and all we have left is a feeble reply, "I am blameless in God's sight". But Elihus, they proceed to tell you how wrong you are to say that, and how deceived you are to even THINK that, and they always sound pretty convincing.

Anyway, I know from peeking ahead that things get even more intense when God shows up in a whirlwind and leaves everyone speechless. I am looking forward to reading the rest of it. But that's enough for today so I will leave you with this: From this timeless story, we learn that hard times do not always = punishment. So when life gets rough, maybe instead of wondering where we went wrong, we should trust that the Holy Spirit will reveal the area in our life that we need to change, if there is one, and just keep pressing on. Just keep on trusting in the promises God has given you, and know that He will guide you into truth.

And just maybe, sometimes that means ignoring some very dear 'friends'.

On that note, I will sign off. I hope your weekend is a great one!

Butterfly kicks.

2012-01-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

No, that is not a misprint that is supposed to say butterfly kisses. Even better than butterfly kisses are butterfly kicks, which I have going on in my tummy right now. (!!!) It has made me nostalgic for when Joss was a wee little one, and since I never did a re-cap of her first year, I will post some of those baby photos now.

I have been suspicious for a week or two now that I have been feeling the littlest one, but not 100% positive. Until tonight. I was rocking a fussy Joss (who is currently teething) to sleep when suddenly...I felt them. There, under my sweatshirt, and up against Joss who I was cradling. Not just one that left me guessing, but a few in succession, as if the dear teeny thing was saying, "There there big Sis, don't cry. Everything will be alright."

Nothing less than a miracle.

Not when so many women, the whole wide world over, with every breath, ache and long for a baby to fill their arms. God has for some unknown, mysterious reason, blessed me with one and one on the way. Thank-you Jesus.

With a second baby, it sort of feels like, "Oh yea, I know this. I've done this before." And the very next minute it's like, "What in the WORLD do I think I'm doing?! There is ONE of me, and I'm going to have TWO?! How is this supposed to work?" So my emotions keep me on my toes.

   In some strange way, it also feels like the ultimate high-five from God. Like, "Shelley, my dear child, you're doing an awesome job being Mommy to that little ray of sunshine. Here, have another." Which I know is faulty logic because I'm sure there are lots of people on the earth that have multiple children and don't treat them the way they should, but I just prefer to think of it this way.

   But my heart truly breaks for those who desperately long to be with child, and aren't. I don't understand their pain. I can't begin to imagine their daily battles. The only thing I can do, is hold that thought close to my heart, and always keep it within reach. So that whenever I'm tempted to think that life is rough, I'll be reminded that it is anything but that. When I'm tempted to bemoan my daily duties and think, "Why me?" I'll be reminded to think that alot of others are asking the same question, "Why God, why me?" but with such a different answer.

   Mothers, never ever take them for granted. Whether you have one, or 17, don't take them for granted. That doesn't mean loving every stain on the carpet, or skipping down the hall for every nighttime feeding, or giggling through every tempter tantrum. Let's be realistic here: there will be hard times. But that still doesn't mean that it's o.k. to take them for granted. It never has been, never will be. They are a gift straight from Heaven, and we have a short window of time with them. Just a short window.

   I was giving Jocelyn a bath tonight and it struck me how a "chore" like that feels more like a privilege. I started wondering what the number of baths total I will be able to give her before she is bathing and showering on her own. And somehow, in the space of that thought, no number seemed big enough. I wanted more. On the day of that last bath, if I knew (would I know?) that it was the last time EVER I would bathe her, would I throw the rubber duckie in the air and shout "Hooray, one down!" No, I think I would want one more bath.

And rocking her to sleep I thought the same thing. How many times will I get to rock her? Until one day she just never needs that anymore. And then she's sleeping over at friends' houses. And coming home late from parties and barely sleeping at all. And then getting married and sleeping at his house. *shudder* No, I want more. I want to rock her to sleep over and over.

And that's why we can't take them for granted. We can't or we will miss them.

We will blink and they will be gone and we will have missed it.

I just can't bear the thought of that.

Kick on, little one, kick on.

God, Husband, and then the rest.

2012-01-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

   Today has been a day for dancing. Twirling around and around and showing off my horrible dance moves where thankfully, no one can see but little Joss. And yes, I did just spell that differently. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to spell my daughter's nickname. And she's over one year old. Indecision has always been one of my weaknesses.

   The reason for all the dancing, and story reading, extra snuggles, and smothering hugs and kisses is because in a week and a half, Randy and I will be on our way down to sunny Californ-I-A, and leaving our little Jossie behind. Part of me is very much looking forward to spending some quality time together, just the two of us, and part of me knows I will miss the little stinker like I would miss a limb. Or vital organ.

Nevertheless, something I am very passionate about, and am willing to prioritize, is couples still spending quality time together without their children. You may disagree, and that is quite fine, but this is my personal belief. Some people think that they need to put their children first, because they want what's best for them. Well, I think that the best thing you can do for your children is give them a loving marriage to grow up around.

They need to see you kiss. And not just those quick, "Hi-how-was-your-day-I-barely-know-you" pecks either.
They need to see you laugh together.
Work hard together.
Pray together.
Really talk and really listen to each other.
Support each other.
Hug.
Tease.
They need to know that Mommy will always respect Daddy, and that Daddy thinks the world of Mommy. They need to grow up, not just hearing these things, but seeing them. They need to be visual, physical, tangible. These are the things that give their lives security, more than any teddy or blanket in the whole world could ever do. Or even attention from Mommy or Daddy. Yes, I said it. These are the moments that start to form their perspectives on love, relationships, faithfulness, commitment, and devotion. And yes, on marriage, but more than just that...it can also affect how they will approach their relationship with Jesus.

It is beyond important. It is necessary and positively crucial for LIFE, LOVE, and happiness.

So yes, you could say I'm passionate about this. Borderline crazy.

Nothing saddens me more when I see couples abandon, neglect, and forgo time alone together, because, well, "We have kids now." As if there was this blissful, delightful relationship once upon a time, and along came a precious little baby and ruined it. What child wants to grow up with that vibe? That they came between Mommy and Daddy, and now there's a big, gaping, hole with their name on it, where Mommy and Daddy's date nights used to be.

Sorry folks, not happening with this couple.

Wow, that was a rabbit trail! I really wasn't even planning on talking about any of that. I started out fully intending to post about Jossie's birthday, but then this all came spilling out. So her birthday post will have to wait until another day.

So you moms out there, go put your kids to bed and then have a little snuggle-time with the hubs. It's probably long over-due.

Sweet dreams.:)

***Photography by Brandon Baker

Five Minute Friday

2012-01-05T23:04:00.000-08:00

Roar.

   2012 feels like a year of roaring to me. Not roaring as in a scream, or shout, or desperate cry, but the full, quiet confidence of a roar. That presence that a lion carries with it that no other animal can quite seem to match. Maybe it's because I know it is going to verge on overwhelming, having 2 under 2. Maybe it's because I know that the choices we have made in the spacing of our children don't fall into the "picture-perfect-American-family" category, but I'm o.k. with that.

I'm tired of status-quo.

I'm tired of just gazing at my dreams from a distance, too afraid to reach out and touch them, for fear I will get burned.

   I feel like this is the year for change. If not necessarily always visible on the outside, than a change of heart. A new beginning of courage to persue and achieve. A fresh start. A quiet roar.

   There are so many different directions this year could take. So many different notes it could end on. But I hope when my life is over, people won't say that I lived, they will say, "She really lived."
__________________

   Well, that's it, folks. I finally did a link-up for the first time from The Gypsy Mama and she has this thing that she calls "Five Minute Friday" and she gives her readers five minutes to write about one word, no editing or second-guessing. Just five solid minutes of letting your words dance across the keyboard, writing whatever comes out. I guess I've never really had the courage to try it until now, and was surprised at how much fun it was. You other bloggers out there should give a try too, you might just surprise yourself at what all spills out through your fingers!

After all, this is a year for roaring....

Brand New.

2012-01-02T22:47:00.000-08:00

Fresh.
Clean slate.
Blank canvas.

   These are some words that describe the way a new year always feels to me. Almost like that brand new leather journal that you spend more money on than you should ever spend on paper, and then you're almost too afraid to write anything in it because it's just too new. Too perfect. Too much potential for error because let's be honest, chances are, there's no mistakes yet. IMAGINE. A year with no mistakes. No hurtful words. No greed, doubt, jealousy, impatience, anger, hatred or bitterness. O.k. so maybe there have already been a few of those. But do you give up? Crumple it up and throw it away? Or do you resign yourself to make TODAY THE DAY OF CHANGE, whether or not it's the 1st, or the 2nd, or an entirely different date?

   That is one of my resolutions. To press on and keep on pressing on, in spite of my short-comings and failures. True to my nature, I did not uphold two of my New Year's Resolutions on January 1st. Reading the Bible and exercising. (I know, real original) Big. Fat. Failure. BUT...I didn't let it end there. I gathered my resolve on today, the 2nd, and I did them. And I'm determined to stick with them, and the others that I have made. But the point is not that you did it on every single calendar day so that you can check them off in neat little rows and pat yourself on the back.

No.

   The point is that you endeavor to get up, no matter how many times you fall. Or that you drag yourself to the mirror and say "You are loved. You are a daughter of the King." when that is the last thing in the world you feel like saying. That is the point of New Year's Resolutions. At least, that is the point for me. Because it is not about performance. It is not about how perfect we can be. Because let's face it, before the clock ever even struck 12:00, we had soiled 2012 by just being us. By breathing. We're human. So embrace it, brush the dirt off of your knees, or forehead, or wherever you hit the ground last, and keep going. Just keep going.

   Well, I certainly wasn't planning on saying all that! It just sort of came out. Moving on to other things....I am blown away and touched deeply and sincerely grateful for all the comments and feedback I've gotten lately. I know I don't reply to each and every comment and I'm hoping to get better at that, but at this point I just haven't figured out the handiest way to do that...do people even check back on blog posts to see if the person responded to their comment? Would they ever find it? Should I just "reply" to comments in a next post? Or on facebook? Or....I just haven't figured it out. But please know that each and every time you leave me a comment, you make my world a little bit brighter. And I really mean that. Sometimes it is exactly the precise thing I needed to hear, at that moment.

   I think especially of the "Green Monster" post about envy. I debated posting it, and even asked my husband in an email (as we were 2,000 miles apart at the time) if he would read it and whether or not he thought I should post it. He did, and said I should. In a very encouraging, affirming, loving way. Ladies, this whole submission thing isn't just about sacrifice, sometimes it's the very wind beneath your wings that you need, and wouldn't have had if you hadn't asked/submitted/etc. I have no idea if that made sense or not, but anyway, I love my husband. Moving on.
    The point is, I got a lot of feedback from that post that also seem to affirm that writing it was a good idea, and was in some way encouraging to people, and that makes it all worth it. So if you've commented on that and I haven't replied, thank-you. I'm so glad it meant something to you.

   Another one of my resolutions is to blog more consistently. Like I said, I'm not sure exactly what that will look like, but for now, I'll just try and make sure there's more than there have been in the past. I need to post on Jocelyn's birthday, her 12 month pictures, and Christmas, but I'm just not sure when all of that will happen.

   If you didn't gather from the last post, yes we are expecting baby #2 in June. I am getting more and more excited.:) This blogger has always been fun to follow, but especially now as she has a darling little girl 2 months younger than Jocelyn, and they are also expecting their 2nd in June. So I feel a strange sort of kinship with this woman I've never met, that is walking down a similar path of life to mine. I would love to meet her someday.....

Aren't they just ridiculously adorable? Yeah I thought so too. Find her over here for more ooey gooey mushy sweetness.

And, since I have really been slacking in the picture department, a few from Instagram....

You can see by the first two pictures that I am loving doing my hair that way these days...I'll probably over-use it and get sick of it like I tend to do when I find a new hairstyle that I like, but this one just makes me feel like I stepped right out of the 20s, and that is never a bad thing. (Thank-you, Pinterest!)

   The last picture is of Joce and 1st cousin Xavier, and I just LOVED watching these two together. He was so gentle, kind and perfectly charming with her, and she just adored him. Plus, they are about exactly the age gap that our two littles will be, and so it was kind of like watching the Ghost of Christmas Future, except instead of a scary ghoulish being it was two adorable mini people being adorable with each other and gave me something to very much look forward to.

   I am looking forward to this year. I will not make the claim that THAT is how I have felt at every moment. But it is my position now, and I'm excited. I think that there will be challenges and struggle, but there will also be growth and accomplishment. I am truly excited to the point of giddiness about some of my dreams/hopes/ambitions, and I'm starting to think less about what all is stopping me. It's ridiculous.

We have one life to live.

One.

   Why should I sit around a waste it on reminding myself of all the things I just can't do, and just exactly how I can't do them? It's ludacris. And this is the year I stop doing that. And dare to dream.

Goodnight everyone. Tomorrow is another day.

Pre-New Year's Inspiration

2011-12-30T23:25:00.000-08:00

O.k. so it has been a long time. I would ordinarily feel pretty guilty, but I'm not yet because according to my calendar it is still December 30th of 2011, which gives me approximately one more day of slacking until my New Year's Resolution to blog consistently kicks in. So UNTIL THEN, I intend to continue slacking, and not feeling guilty. Whew, glad we got that out of the way.

So, have any of you discovered the ultra-entertaining, positively inspiring GWG blog? (Girls With Glasses) Oh, you all have? Months ago? I thought so. I'm always behind the times. Well, here they are in all their glory....

GWG

Eeeek! Even if they were obnoxious, I would still love their blog for the sole reason of their excellent taste in modest, feminine, trend-setting fashion. But it is just the cherry on top that they are anything BUT obnoxious! They are witting, charming, and downright funny, and it's so refreshing. Refreshing to see that you don't have to be frumpy to be modest, weak to be humble, boring to be intelligent, or any of the other misnomers of our day when it comes to women. I. LOVE. THEM.

After watching their little videos and seeing them obviously so thoroughly enjoy their lives and what they do for a living, it starts this little rumbling of inspiration deep inside me. There are so many dreams and goals and ambitions floating around in my head that I just push to the back burner time and time and time again. I don't have the time. Or the energy. Or the drive. Or the motivation. Or the time. Did I say time twice? But the truth is, those are all lame excuses. Lame-o. So hopefully 2012 will be THE year that I finally stop dreaming, and start doing. We will see.

The fantastic Jenny from this lovely blog actually sent me the link to their blog in the first place and that was how I discovered them. She also said that they reminded her of me, *gasp* and so I of course will be floating high on that compliment for weeks. Of course she's never actually MET me, so that might have a teensy bit to do with it..... Sigh. Oh to be cool and have an endless array of fabulous glasses. Forget new clothes, I am going to start adding glasses to my wardrobe. They're the new "scarf"!

Anyway, that's really not all I've been doing with myself lately. I mean, it has been for the past 45 minutes or so, but honestly, up until then, I have been MIA in the internet world. It's just been too crazy-busy. But hopefully now that Christmas and the little Miss' birthday are past, things will start to slow down.

I am so excited to work on my yearly list of Resolutions. Do you guys make them? I heard someone say that they never make them anymore because they never keep them anyway, so why make them. Well that's the whole point! It's so motivating and intoxicating to have a fresh, new, unscathed calendar year staring you in the face full of potential and possibility, and this year, I am determined to make a little more use of that possibility than I have in the past. I mean seriously, I am 26. These goals aren't going to set themselves.

Peace out people, more to come in the new year. Here's a little song that's been running through my head all day to send you on your way to a cheery Saturday night.

Baby, it's cold outside....

2011-12-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

But I think the little one is staying nice and toasty.:)

Big Sister Jossie already loves her baby. She fell asleep playing with and talking to this one.

We are so excited.:)

Have a very, merry Christmas. I know we will.

The Green Monster.

2011-12-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

Contrary to what the title might lead you to believe, I am not talking about the Hulk. Or the Grinch, or the Jolly Green Giant that advertises canned corn. Or the Sinclair dinosaur, the funny one-eyed guy from Monster's Inc., or the Loch Ness Monster. Man, there really are a lot of green ones, aren't there? Assuming that the LNM is green, but that's what I've always pictured it as....moving on.

I am talking about jealousy. Someone please tell me that I'm not the only person that struggles with this, even if you're just humoring me. I think even a lie would comfort me a little at this point. "You, jealous?!! But why?! You have such a perfect life!!" Why thank-you, and I do have a ~~perfect~~ wonderful life. But that's not really the point. Newsflash, but Satan doesn't really take into consideration how beautiful your life is before deciding what to tempt you with. It's not like he takes one look at your life and goes, "Shucks. She's got an amazing husband, beautiful daughter and lovely home. I got nothin'." He's a little smarter than we give him credit for, people. He can strike anyone, anytime, and anywhere, and it doesn't really matter if you're living in a penthouse or on a park bench, jealousy can happen even to you.

So here are just a few things that rouse up that ugly, green pest these days.

Blog envy. I have long touted the opinion that cool, talented, amazing blogs are not the CAUSE OF JEALOUSY. I cannot stress this enough. Swearing off reading blogs will not cure your jealousy, because there will always be something in life (your great aunt's cooking, so-and-so's home/car/pool, etc) to peak your jealousy. No, my friends, there are no magic words to say to make it disappear. It is something we have to each individually conquer in our own lives. THAT BEING SAID, even though I am still a fierce proponent of the opinion that blogs don't MAKE us jealous, I will admit to slipping up occasionally and feeling jealous after reading one. Like this one, who blogs about her baby yawning, and gets 121 comments. I'm not kidding. In fact, she doesn't have to write anything at all. She puts up no more than a single photo and the comments come rolling in by the hundreds. What is up with that? And while we're talking about her, (sorry, not trying to target her specifically, she's just a perfect example of this next one) we'll roll right on into #2.
Those women that materialize into their former selves mere moments after giving birth. This is what she looks like 5 weeks post-baby.

Holy macaroni, she's smokin'! And it seemed so effortless. But I'm sure she wouldn't say that. Or maybe she would....

3. Those super-decorators. You know who I'm talking about. The ones that, approximately 7.5 hours after the Thanksgiving turkey has been consumed and is still digesting, they have their tree up, garlands gracing the halls, festive wreath and stockings hung, and a dazzling array of Christmas lights that flash in sync to the Little Drummer Boy.

4. Great gift-givers. This time of year (and throughout the year around birthdays) I am constantly reminded that gift-giving is not my gift. Pun intended. I have to work hard at finding the "right thing" for someone, when some people could walk blindfolded into a Dollar General and come out with something that is just perfect.

5. People who love to cook and clean. I like it, don't get me wrong. I enjoy a clean house and I feel so accomplished when I make a great meal, but I don't love it. I'm just not there yet. I want to be. I hope to be one day. But it just doesn't come to me naturally, like those that can't keep their fingers out of the cupboards baking goodies or off of the shelves dusting from the sheer delight of it.

I could go on, but I'm sure some people think it's nigh-on to sinful to admit that you're jealous. O.k. so I will agree, the Bible tells us not to covet, but it doesn't say that when you're feeling covetous you can't confess it. So there it is, I am being honest, open and real, and making myself quite vulnerable, in the hopes that A. I am not completely alone, and B. I can/will change.

I love my life. I have been blessed so many, many times with so many incredible things. I never, ever want to take any of that for granted. These are just some areas in which I am tempted to feel a little...well...jealous. The "J" word is scary. No one wants to use it because it will somehow make them feel like less of a person, when reality is, we all feel it, but we just want to appear as that one person who doesn't. Well, I guess tonight is a night where I'm not pretending.

Enjoy it while it lasts. :-p

Game-changer.

2011-12-06T21:15:00.000-08:00

WHOA. My blogging life was just completely revolutionized. Are you ready for this folks? Deep breath...I figured out how to post pictures from my iPhone on here. I'm sure to all you techies out there, this is pretty much the equivalent of learning how to keep food balanced on your spoon until it reaches your mouth. But to me, this is such a break through. In fact, I might actually blog consistently now! No wait, I'll start in the new year. Then I can uphold one of my resolutions and it will empower me to uphold the rest. Yessss, I have a plan. Oh, this is gonna be good.

So I'm here in the snowy, frosty, chilly homeland of Iowa. If you're a dear friend or loved one and I haven't seen you yet, please don't fear. I am trying to squeeze in as much quality time with everyone as much as possible over the brief time that I'm here, but these first few days are mainly about family, and then I leave for the weekend to the wedding in IN, and I'm hoping to see more of you lovelies there. Anyway, here's what we have been able to do so far....

Of course no trip to K-town would be complete without a visit to my beloved Kalona Coffee House, and if you're local and haven't checked it out yet, well than you're physically unable to leave your house, and I feel sorry for you. I can think of no other reason why you wouldn't have gone there and sampled some of their holiday goodness. Or even if you're not local. I'm from the West Coast for Pete's sake, and I've made it there twice in the past 3 days. Mistletoe Mocha? Snickerdoodle latte? Yeah, I don't know what you're waiting for either.

And how perfect is this scenario: Dragging oneself out of bed in the cold, wintry morning, and hustling down to aforementioned coffee shop to meet a dear friend and enjoy a blueberry muffin, java, and good discussion. PLUS, it's snowing. Delight.

Lovely times with the fam have been happening as well, such as games and movies and lots and lots of food.

And then there's this little angel who just can't quite get enough of all the attention from Grandma, Grandpa and the aunt/uncles. I'm sure when we go back home she'll be attention-starved unless I hold her all day long. She is just tickled to be here. But I think she misses her daddy, and if he were only here, she would have just about everything she needs. I have just been thrilled with how good she has been. Happy, cheerful, letting people feed her and put her to sleep...I don't know what to do with myself with all the built-in babysitters. And she's been working out too, check out those obliques.

I just wish I had pictures of the others things I've gotten to do so far too, like lunch with Shawn, coffee with Janene, the chicken dinner at Pathway, church on Sunday, and shopping with Mom. Good times. I am amazed every time I go back to Pathway how different it feels. So many new faces, with people I can't even recognize being these tough, cool, seniors and then thinking, "Oh wait, I DO remember them. Only at about 7 years old." And then I feel really weird and old and just stop staring at them. Some people actually didn't recognize ME, which I'm hoping was a good thing? Hopefully I haven't aged THAT ungracefully.... It's also weird to realize that while I do talk to some students, I find more in common with the parents of students, and end up talking more with them. And then I see my high school teachers and I feel 16 again. It is just. So. Weird.

Well, that's enough for now. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I don't have to get pictures off of my camera to blog photos anymore...amazing.

Hush, you techie scoffers.

Time to move on.

2011-11-28T22:18:00.000-08:00

source

This is what my life consists of right now. Packing up things into boxes. I am so ready to move. I am so excited to move. It is time. It is past time. I am tired of breathing this stagnant air in this cramped place. I want open spaces. I want green grass stretching out, out, out, and trees and a place to do laundry and rooms to fill with family and friends. Hosting is so important to me, and I can't wait to be able to do it right. I can't wait to deck the halls in our new place. I can't wait to put up the Christmas tree. Only 3 more days. I can hardly believe it's finally here.

And now here's a few pictures of our "old place".

I suppose there are a few things I will miss about this place....after all, it is the first real home we shared together as a newlywed couple. Well, technically my parents trailer was our first place, for two short months until we moved to Oregon. But this was the first place we truly called home. It was the place where we celebrated holidays and birthdays, anniversaries and vacations. It was where we "came home" to, after camping or traveling or a weekend getaway. And it was nice. It really was enough for our needs, and I am not going to claim that I "need" more, when so many people do not even have a 2-bedroom apartment to call their own. I am feeling so humbled and grateful at this blessing of a house that literally dropped into our laps.

So in a few days, I will be writing to you from a new home. And it feels like perfect timing. I want a new chapter, a fresh page. We like to say that Jocelyn needs a "change of environment" to stay happy and content, and she does. Even if it's something as simple as going to a different room, or a 15-minute walk outside, it can make a world of difference on her outlook. And come to think of it, we really aren't that different. Maybe it's the restless part of me that can't stay in one place for too long. I feel like it's just time for this next phase.

Bring it on.

Thankfulness.

2011-11-27T19:41:00.000-08:00

source

    I don't have any pictures of our lovely Thanksgiving and it's a shame. The table was beautiful with its acorn/leaf name tags, and the 'horn of plenty' centerpiece (made out of actual bread dough) with fruit spilling out of it. The food was as good to eat as it was to look at, and everyone was all dressed nice and handsome/gorgeous. There, can you picture it in your mind? Well that will have to do because I suppose I was too busy partaking in it all and neglected to get my camera out. :( I've been doing worse and worse at that lately....

   So after all the football and turkey and Black Friday deals and family...what is leftover? Well, maybe some sweet potatoes if you're lucky, but what I'm referring to is a laundry list of things you're thankful for this year. I suppose I could list the obvious ones, like a loving husband who keeps me from going crazy, a beautiful daughter who gives me a reason to become a better person, and a Savior Who gives me reason to face it all, and most of all, hope. But really, aren't these easy things to be thankful for? I mean, who wouldn't be thankful to be married to a hunk, or mother to a little piece of sunshine? So this year, I'm learning (slowly) to be thankful for the not-so-easy things.

   I was inspired by a post on Dorcas Smucker's blog, but I just tried looking for it and couldn't find it, so maybe she removed it. If so, it's a shame, because it was a lovely, thought-provoking and lyrical poem about being thankful for the not-so-easy things. I loved it. And it challenged me. Usually, when I think of things I'm thankful for, a list pops into my head like....

Good health
Family
Friends
Money, clothes, food, etc.

The easy stuff. Blessings that anyone in their right mind would be thankful for. And they should be, because we should give thanks for everything. But what about the blessings in disguise? Are we thankful for those? What about the times that stretch, try us, develop us, mold us, and refine us? What about the times when our greatest weakness is brought into the spotlight, rearing its ugly head and we shrink back from the sight? What about then? Are we thankful? I don't know about you, but in those times, an attitude of gratitude is usually the farthest thing from my mind. My thoughts more closely resemble self-loathing than anything remotely close to thankfulness.

So why even be thankful for those things? Because for some reason, God cares enough about us to not leave us where we are. He wants us to change. To grow. To become the people He has designed, planned, and intended for us to be all along. Sometimes I feel so far from that person it gets utterly discouraging. But I know He cares enough to keep working on me, and not leave me on the dusty shelf in the bin marked "Mission: Impossible".

And that is quite enough to be eternally grateful for.

11 months old and busy little bees.

2011-11-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

   Can you believe it? The next monthly update from Jocelyn will be about her 1st birthday party. Gasp. Heave. Faint. I'll be honest, it really did fly by in a sense, but in another sense, it feels like she was born about 3 years ago, so I'm not sure if it feels like it snuck up on me, or if it feels like she's been here forever, and it makes perfect sense that's she turning at LEAST one, if not seven. It's a strange dichotomy of feelings.

   Must. Update. Blog. Those have been my thoughts recently. In my defense, our computer decided to give itself a vacation, and so I'm editing pictures/posting from my laptop, which really isn't very convenient. But don't worry, one of my New Year's Resolutions (yes I'm thinking about them already, can't help myself) is to post regularly. I've never done that before, and I'm a little nervous about making a commitment to that, because then I'll feel like I have to stick to it, but I think it's time. I'm not sure what "regularly" will mean yet, whether it will be every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or twice a week no matter what day, etc. I will figure that out and let you know, come the new year! Because everyone knows you can't make New Year's Resolutions early. That, and it gives me time to rethink my decision. ;)

   In other news,   Jocelyn is 11 months old. That means it's time for an update. But since I usually take all of her pictures outside (due to the fact that I despise indoor lighting), and had to take these inside (due to the rain and cold) these pictures will not be the greatest. Oh well, it's something.

__________________

Jocelyn here, posting my 11-month-old update. My new all-time favorite thing, is making this face.

Finally, after 11 long months of feeling these feelings but having no way to express them, I give you....*drumroll please* the "Grouchy Gretchen". I do believe I have mastered it quite well, actually.

You too, could be an expert, if only you try. Just scrunch up your nose, pooch out your lower lip, and furrow your eyebrows, and presto, everyone knows exactly how you're feeling about your current predicament. It's so liberating! Why didn't I think of this before?

Here I am trying to show George (my sock monkey) how to make the face. "No George, you scrunch your nose first, like this!" He wasn't very cooperative. But I love him anyways!

Let's see, what else is new in my life. I haven't been going outside as much because it is so cold and rainy out. But the other day we walked to the library and I got some books for mommy to read to me. Mommy and Daddy went on a date tonight and I was at cousin Madison's house for the evening. She's so much fun! I wish I could talk and run like her. She's SOOO grown-up.

I am starting to "talk" more and more, and I especially like to talk to myself while I'm playing with toys, and George the Monkey. I still love taking a bath, and especially drinking the bath water. I also love to suck on the shower curtain but Mommy won't let me.

I'm so excited for the next few weeks because Mommy said we are having Thanksgiving, and then we're moving, and then we get to go to Iowa, and then I have my 1st birthday party, and then it's Christmas! I can hardly wait for it all. Well, that is all for now. Ta-ta.

_________

Like she said, we are pretty busy these days. Busy with what? Oh, just a little bit of............

Getting ready for the Day of Thanks, to which I am taking TWO DISHES this year (the pressure's on!!).
After that, it will be Black Friday madness (if I decide to go)
Civil War game on Saturday
A week of packing/cleaning craziness and then MOVING on December 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm excited, if you couldn't tell.
Packing like mad to leave on the 3rd for a week in Iowa/Indiana for a friend's wedding, to which I am traveling with Jocelyn, sans husband. :(
Then I will come back, and in one, indistinguishable whirlwind of twinkle lights and cookie cutters, I will simultaneously deck the halls and prepare for both Christmas, and Jocelyn's 1st birthday party extravaganza.
Then we will party like it's 1999.
Then, two days later, we will have an all-day Smucker thing.
3 days after that, is Christmas.
Then we will have more family things, a friend's wedding on the 31st, and ring in the New Year.
Then I will of course make my New Year's traditions, after which I will promptly collapse into a heap on the floor and being to hyperventilate.

Happy Holidays.

Worry, schmorry.

2011-11-12T23:37:00.000-08:00

I should be sleeping, not blogging. But there's just so many things rattling around in my brain, I'm afraid it will be hard to sleep. Randy doesn't have that problem. That man can be having a conversation and snoring about 2 minutes apart from each other. I've always envied that sort of calm, peaceful self-assurance that I think a person has to have to be able to fall asleep like that. ME on the other hand...I worry. I lay there in bed, and I fret about something I did/said and shouldn't have, or something I should have but didn't. I worry about the future, I worry about a current issue, I worry about people's opinions, you name it, I've probably worried about it. And the weird part is, I don't think of myself as an insecure person. I like to think that I live fairly confidantly in who I am in Christ, but there's just something about laying down to go to bed that gives everything else in this blessed universe the green light to rear it's ugly head and pester me. Sigh.

I wonder why we fear. We know Who holds our future, we actually have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe, we know that fear will accomplish NOTHING, and yet...we fear. Why? Do we really think so much of ourselves to think that it matters? That it changes one jot or tittle in the scheme of our lives? The only thing it does affect, is our state of mind. Our attitude. Our happiness. And why do we so willingly throw that away for a small time of worry, when worry gets us nowhere anyway? Once you figure it out, let me know, so I can learn how to stop.

I'm feeling lately, like I am so far from the person I want to be. I feel like I make so much headway and progress in my walk with Christ, and then some days it feels like I'm back to square one. Or maybe even further. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Like you take two steps forward and one step back? But it's not always like that. Nooo. Sometimes it's as if I've taken leaps and bounds until I realize one day that my feet are even touching the ground anymore, I am flying that high. And then something...it can be anything really...brings me crashing back down to sea level and I realize that, oh, yeah I am still selfish. I am stubborn. I am jealous and judgmental and self-righteous. I am all of these things that I see every day in other people and despise.

I read a quote somewhere on the fabulous pinterest, that judging someone doesn't define them, it defines you. And that has been both convicting and challenging. I want to change. I hate the judgment Christians impose on each other, and the self-righteous way we all think we're better than someone else, but aren't I doing that just by thinking about that? When will it end? When I judge people that judge people? Obviously not.

All photos found here.
(You can find the links from my pinterest board.)

Just some thoughts. Maybe now that they're out I'll be able to sleep.

Goodnight, world.

The Mom thing.

2011-11-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

   I've been thinking a lot lately about life and motherhood. What it means to be a mother, what it looks like, how it shapes your life and molds your world, and whether all of that is a good thing or not.

   I recently read a great post on this lovely young woman's blog, about living a "wild ocean life". Now it was a wonderful, inspiring read, but it left me with a lot of questions...just what exactly does a wild ocean life look like, and how does that apply to motherhood? Those are the deep questions I am facing in my life today.

   For example, she mentions never wanting her life to reach the point where the biggest worries in her life are Sunday potlucks and scrapbook parties. And 5 years ago, I would have raised my fist and shouted a hearty, "Hear, hear!" But not so much right now. And I guess my question today is, "Does that mean my values/dreams/visions/goals have changed in a way that is bad, or that I have changed as a person in a way that is good?"

   Because the bottom line is, when you get married and become a mom, life changes. Period. It changes, priorities change, you change, he changes, it just does. That's the way it is. NOW, I am NOT saying that is has to be BAD change. If you're Mennonite, you cringe at the word "change". Maybe you even hush your voice when you say it, like it's some kind of curse word. But the truth is, there is good change and bad change.

   For example, if you get married and have a baby and decide that you can no longer keep up with any of your old friends whatsoever, or go on dates with your husband alone, because you just don't have the time and after all, this child is now the center of your universe.....I would call that bad change. But if you get married and have a baby and suddenly cooking and cleaning are of interest to you, and you actually care what kind of dish you prepare for the church potluck, and you throw a scrapbook party with other moms so that you all can fellowship and refresh each other's spirits and retain your sanity, I would call that good change.

Another one of my unmarried girlfriends recently voiced her concerns about motherhood, and how it seems to really change a person, their dreams and ambitions, and even the connection and relationship of the couple. Not to mention the sacrifice of the woman's career before marriage. I think the whole picture just seems a little daunting to her, and so if there is one thing I could say to her, I will say this....

"Your life is going to look different as a wife/mother than it did as a single person. There will be moments when you stop, look all around and think, "How did I get here? Wasn't it just a few years ago that I was traveling the world? Meeting new people, doing exciting 'things for God' and living a wild ocean life?" There will be mornings when you don't want to crawl out of bed and start a new day. Your body, after birthing a child, will change. I reached my pre-baby weight, but my body is still different. Your routine will change. Your priorities will change. Your interests will change. In fact, it would take me a lot less time to list what won't change....very little. But think about it....all those things will change whether or not you ever have children! Your body might not have to go through labor, but it will go through old age. You might not have to change diapers and play peek-a-boo, but you will have changing schedules, routines, and will still be busy. And here's the bottom line.

God doesn't change.

The God that was there for you as a single person, giving you strength to meet deadlines and face loneliness and the unknown future, is there to give you strength to love your husband and your children, and raise them for His glory. It is the same God Who went on wild adventures with you across the oceans, into foreign countries, and distant lands. It is the same God Who instilled dreams and desires into the core of your soul, and He is bigger than cooking and cleaning and babies, and so why do we somehow think those things will get in His way? He would never let those dreams die just because of a change in your life. Think about it. What is your life? It's a vapor. A mist. It's here one moment, like your breath in the December chill, and gone the next. We are just a blink. A whisper. And yet we start to think that our lives are this all-important things that we can't bear to change, or "mess up" because after all, they're OURS!!! But they're not. They're His.

And I'll wrap up with this thought. No one is forcing you to get married. No one is telling you that you have to bear children. We choose these things. We choose to love someone with our eyes wide open, and we know exactly what we are getting into. We choose to have a child and while we may not know exactly what we're in for, God does. And He's holding you in the palm of His hand. Where would we rather be?

So the next time, dear friend, you are tempted to worry about all of this, just remember, if you are there one day, you chose it. And if you don't choose it, that's fine! It's OK. I chose it, and it changed my life forever. It has been hard, exhausting, frustrating, and completely and wholly draining, but I would do it all over again. It has brought a spark and a dazzle into my life I didn't know existed. It has given me vision for the future, and hope for what's to come. It has blown my mind WIDE OPEN to a new definition of God's love for me, His child. And we're just getting started! I absolutely can't wait to travel the world again, but this time, take a little pair of wide-eyes with me, and show them everything there is to see. I can't wait to pursue my dreams and ambitions, but this time, teach a little soul along the way how to be a feminine woman in a feminist world. I can't wait to be best friends with my little girl, and one day, best friends with a woman who will know me like no one has ever known me. I hope for these things, I pray for these things.

Yes, it's possible to live a "wild ocean life". But just what exactly that looks like, may change. And I just hope that all the young, unmarried women out there with a vision for that kind of a life, don't find themselves cooking dinner and changing diapers one day and just throw their hands up in despair and say, "I didn't get that life after all!" You did. It just looks different than you thought it would at one point. And as your life changes, your vision changes too, and you start to see things more clearly until one day, you realize, you are finding meaning and value in where you are, and what you're doing. And that's not just something mothers have to deal with, we all deal with that, whether married, single, or somewhere in between.

So don't be afraid. Whatever the future holds, God already sees it. He's already been there. He knows. He will be there with you. EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE, ON THIS EARTH WILL CHANGE. But He never will.

_______________

Cold season.

2011-11-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

Let's just start off this post with a little honesty. Yes some of these pictures are "re-runs" from my guest post over at baileynme2, and I'm sure that's like breaking Commandment #2 in a blogger's 10 Commandments, but I don't really care. It's going to double as my 10 month post for Jocelyn, because they were taken fairly close to that age, and I just don't see myself getting a photo shoot done any time soon, and she's already 10 1/2 months, so 11 months will be here before I know it and I'll have to do those, and so these will have to do. Plus some of them you haven't seen before. Enough excuses, here she is.

Hi everyone, Jocelyn here. Sorry I can't be my usual perky self today because I have a cold. I'm sneezing, whuffling and sniffling all day long, and it's not very fun. My two favorite things right now are not eating and not sleeping, so I'm not having the best of weeks.

I do love me some apples though. Mmmmm.

My new thing is peek-a-boo. I've always found it amusing, but it is WAY more fun when you do it yourself! Now when Mommy and Daddy lay me down in my crib to sleep, I pull the blanket up over my head and they say, "Where did Jossie go?" and then I pull it down and they are so surprised. I do it over and over because it is so much fun, but also because it makes them stay, and I don't have to go to sleep as soon!

So delicious but SO tricky to eat! They come off in little perfect choke-size bites, and Mommy says I just can't handle them yet without any molars.

So sometimes I stick to blocks.

I just love to stand up to things, it makes me feel so grown-up. I also love walking, with Mommy's help of course. I can clap my hands really well now, and am quick to do it when someone asks me to. It makes me feel so accomplished. I still love my bath, and I like to drink the water and suck on old washrags and the shower curtain and pretty much anything Mommy doesn't want me to do. Makes it more exciting. :)

Well, that's all for now. Over and out.

    She's a charmer that one. Somehow, even with this new, crazy "sick child" schedule, and her new-found appetite for NOTHING, I can't help but adore her. I have to admit it though, the last couple of days have been rough. Not trying to get pity, or be pessimistic, just saying it like it is. Life is just real sometimes.

   We took our family pictures this evening. The picture-taking went great, it was the preparations that got a little tedious. And I couldn't help but wonder as I labored over our outfits and spent quite a bit of time getting ready...What would family pictures look like, if it was the "inner man" that got photographed, rather than the outward? Can you imagine THOSE Christmas cards? The siblings scowling because they had to wear uncomfortable shoes, and the father scowling because he had to take pictures at all. The mother scowling because she couldn't find her favorite scarf and had to settle for her 2nd. And a greeting that read, "Hope your holidays are filled with love, joy, and peace on earth...because ours have been anything but that."

Imagine if somehow, instead of our combed hair and matchy little outfits, the camera captured the true thoughts and feelings inside. Would any of us have a suitable picture to send out to everyone we know? We scramble around, making sure every hair is in place, imperfection disguised, wrinkle ironed out and smudge of dirt wiped clean. We smile real big until the camera clicks and then....then what? Do we go back home and speak unkind words, act selfishly and think mean thoughts? Do we look at others people's Christmas cards and envy their "perfect" life, when they might be fighting even more battles than we are at the moment? Do we gaze at our own cards with criticism, wishing our families were something they weren't? Do we gaze at them with pride, thinking somehow we have it better than most everybody else, and we deserve that?

   I love a Christmas card as much as the next person. But it's a challenge to me to try and think of what my family portrait would look like, if it captured the real me. And I'm not talking about the Shelley YOU see, because that Shelley will fade away. That Shelley will be buried in the ground someday, and turn to dust. No, the real one. The one that will last forever. What kind of portrait would she look like?

That was for free. :)

*P.S. Husband just walked in with flowers and sweet potato fries. Somehow, he knows just how to make the world a little bit better.

Guest posting.

2011-10-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I don't have a guest posting on here, but rather I AM the guest, posting over here! Now I can finally feel like a real blogger. :) I am a big fan of Jenny's blog. She is astonishingly creative and talented at decorating gorgeous tablescapes and parties, and I am a huge fan of her home decor/style on Pinterest. She is a sincere, Godly wife/mother, has two adorable girls (with even more adorable names) to call her very own, and you will generally be either inspired, encouraged, or humored after reading one of her posts. Check it out! You will soon be a follower too. And so of course I jumped at the chance (and felt quite honored) to guest post over on her blog.

Here's a peek:

Check it out, and tell me what you think! I deeply appreciate your feedback. Really, truly.

The Kauffmans.

2011-10-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Neglected. What's new?" That quote was from my blog in response to how she is feeling these days, and her opinion about it. We have a close relationship, my blog and I. It is a strange relationship...one in which we care for each other deeply but we don't spend a lot of time together, and our communication is random and sporadic. Yet somehow, in spite of days of no contact that stretch to weeks, we seem to know that everything's still ok, and there are no hurt feelings. It might be strange, but it works great for both of us.

I had the privilege of capturing the lovely Kauffmans on camera again this year, and I'm so pleased with how it turned out. Took Auntie Stephanie along with me to make Madison smile, and let me tell you, if you are taking pictures of small children, that is the WAY TO GO. That and a pocket full of smarties.

We were blessed with a gorgeous blue sky, beautiful weather, and a smiley little girl who didn't mind taking pictures all that much. I refrained from showing the one that will probably be featured on their Christmas card, but lemme tell you, it's gonna be a charming one! Lucky you if it ends up in your mailbox this year.

If you're still frantically searching for someone to take your family's pictures before this busy holiday season is upon us, give me a call and I'll work something out. :)

Calling all football widows.

2011-10-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

I think my goal for 2012 should be writing a post that surpasses my all-time reader high. Because the most read post is far and away the one I did about the royal wedding, and for some reason, that irks me. Maybe it's because it has nothing to do whatsoever with my own life, and it is my blog, after all. I'll be working on that one.

Here's a little project I did a while ago, at the start of this wonderful time we know as football season. :) I love all the little Oregon duck clothes, but they are SO expensive! I can hardly bring myself to spend $30 on a dress for myself, much less a 10 month old. So I improvised.

All you need is:

A white onesie (this was conveniently dotted in yellow, but plain white would work fine)

A free printable logo and a green sharpie

I placed the paper underneath the onesie, and traced it with the sharpie. Easy peasy, anyone can do it. It's so fun to make stuff like that for her, and the best part is saving $30! THEN she was finally ready for some Duck football.

I know alot of women have a love/hate relationship for their husband's love of sports (or mostly hate), hence the title of this post. I, on the other hand, have come to really enjoy it. If you just coughed some of your coffee all over your keyboard, I'll give you some tips to help you learn to like it too.

Ask him to explain how the game works. (Preferrably not during an intense match-up, or the national championship or something.:)
Learn about some of the players. Feeling like you know them makes a big difference.
Play it yourself! Football is TONS of fun.
Invite friends over and make cool snacks and watch the game together. Make a party out of it!
Go to a game. There's just something about that energy-charged stadium, cheering crowd, bundling up in the cold and the $6 coffee that makes a fun date. :)

I encourage women out there with sports-loving men in your lives...give it a try! What do you have to lose? You might end up actually looking forward to those games, and cheering along with everybody else. What's the alternative here? Nag him until he gives up sports? Would you enjoy it if he hated your shopping habits, nights out with your girls, or a hobby you love, and nagged you relentlessly to stop? And even if you finally gave it up, wouldn't it have driven a tiny little wedge in between you? Is it worth it?

Love him, and the things that he loves. Join in with him. That will mean more to him than any football game ever will. The way I see it, men used to trek around the jungles/desert/mountains hunting game, slaying bears and mountain lions, and sawing down trees to build a cabin with their bare hands. We live in a different world now, but they still crave adventure. Action. Competition. A Challenge. So let them be. While they're enjoying that, go do something YOU love! If you dread this time of year, every purpose every fall to start a new hobby or schedule a weekly Saturday out with the girls. There's lots of options. Wow, I was not planning on talking about football for three paragraphs. :)

This little lady loves the outdoors, so we try to go out every day.

   In other news, it's only 9:02 am on a Monday and I already received a little inspiration. I was slicing up some pears for Jocelyn's oatmeal (that she didn't like, surprise surprise) and I was a little appalled at how many were rotten. Not just rotten, but still nice-looking on the outside, and ten a soon as you slice past the smooth surface, your knife gave way into the slimy mush of a decayed inside. But they still looked o.k.! How can something rot from the inside out?
   Sometimes I feel so much like those pears. Like the darkest parts of my heart are festering and molding away, while on the outside I paste on a smile and forge ahead. As long as my outside looks good, no one will know, right? Yesterday someone told me I had a beautiful smile, and it felt good. Don't we all love it when someone compliments our outward appearance? Especially us women. But how much more meaningful would it be for someone to say, "You have a kind, serving heart." Or, "You have such a beautiful spirit." Not that we should develop those qualities for the praise of others, but so that when God looks inside, he sees beauty. Because when everyone else sees the skin, God sees the core.

    So now I'd love to hear from you....what does this Monday hold for you? Much of the same old, same old? Something new and exciting? Something you dread? Something you've been putting off for forever and TODAY'S THE DAY? Please humor me, comments just make my day.

OVER.Whelmed.

2011-10-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

Why? Oh, it's about:

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Having a to-do list for today that has approx. 22 items on it.
Feeling dog-tired so I lay down for a morning nap when Joce does, sleep til about noon, and so half-way through the day how many items do I have crossed off the list? A big FAT ZERO. Too bad drag-self-out-of-bed and drink a cup of tea weren't on the list.
Throat is scratching with that tell-tale, "I'm about one day away from making you feel really awful" sign.
Struggling with Jocelyn over every meal. Is it o.k. for kids to just not eat? Cuz that's pretty much what she wants to do. Mmmm-K.
Hiring an awesome photographer through Groupon, only to have to call/email/text her about 263, 168, 973 times to try and set up a session, and when we FINALLY do, she flakes. O.k. so she might have been sick, but I'm looking forward to these family pics/Christmas cards a little too much and impatiently, ok?!
And realizing my awesome idea for our pictures was gotten to first by someone else. Hmmm, maybe I could still do it. Care for a little "I think I've seen that before" feeling in your Christmas cards this year? Eh?

   Anyway, all ranting/mumbling aside...I am blessed. And the greatest blessing of all is that I have a Father Who is there to help me. I am clinging to these words lately.

    "I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. The LORD protects you; the LORD is a shelter right by your side. The sun will not strike you by day, or the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all harm; He will protect your life. The LORD will protect your coming and going both now and forever." -Psalm 121

   Really, what do I ever have to fear? The One who made the heavens and the earth is the One losing sleep over me. He's the One gently guiding every step so my dirty, smelly human foot doesn't miss one step. He's the one protecting me from all harm. And sometimes that means protecting me from my own thoughts. Yes, there are mountains in front of me. But yes, I have a Helper. And I'm so thankful to Jesus that it's not just for today, or even for "one day at a time". Sometimes that trite little phrase just feels like it won't cut it! No. His help is both now and FOREVER.

Thank-you Jesus.

9 months old.

2011-10-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

Well, actually, I'm nine months and eleven days, in case you wanted to know. But Mommy's gotten a little behind in her picture-taking, and so here we are. Oh well, it's better than never at all!

My latest skill is fake coughing. Every once in a while after Mommy or Daddy lets out a loud cough or sneeze I will do it, and they think it's pretty cute. :) I still love being outside more than in, and enjoy watching some of Daddy's softball games at the park. I also like going to church, because after sitting in church patiently for what seems like a LONG time, I get to go to the nursery and play with my friends.

Mom says it's "fall" now, and I know a little about that. I fall sometimes, but not very far, just from my bottom to a face-plant on the floor because I'm trying to reach stuff. I'm not crazy enough to try walking around, because falling from that high would hurt alot more! I'm also not too interested in crawling, although Mommy and Daddy keep trying to get me to. Inch around on the dirty floor getting my knees sore and my clothes messy? No thanks. I think I'll just go straight to walking someday and surprise the pants off of them.

I'm still nursing and eating more and more foods now. I especially like potatoes, fruit and Grandma Bonnie's vegetable soup. I'm excited for the day when I can eat the same foods Mommy and Daddy are eating, and I think they are too! Mom gets tired of pureeing all that baby food. Isn't that impressive? I'm only 9 months and I know what "puree" means.

I'm making more sounds, and Mommy's favorite is when I say something that sounds like, "Gli-gli-gli-gli." I'm not sure why, it just makes her grin and say it back to me. She's trying to teach me signs like "More", "All done", and "Please" but I just mostly think she looks a little funny doing them. I am starting to wave bye-bye, and they get a big kick out of that!

I went on a trip with Mommy and Daddy to Phoenix, and it was kinda fun. Only kinda because I woke up alot at night because things weren't quite familiar and I didn't have my rice cereal. When Mommy FINALLY figured out that I really missed my cereal (it took her a long time!) I slept much better. It was also pretty hot, but I loved swimming in the pool! Mommy says I'm a little fish but that's silly because I can't breathe in the water. I know because sometimes I get my mouth under and I try it out, but it doesn't work so well. It was fun to meet Mommy's friend Jewel though! She was nice and let me play with her spatula and whisk, so I was happy about that.

I don't remember the flights there, because I slept the whole time for both of them, but I remember the ones coming home! I think Mom and Dad liked it a little better when I slept, but I had so much more fun being awake the whole time and getting held by both of them and eating lots of snacks. I was very happy to be home and was immediately in a better mood. I'm not sure if I love traveling yet quite as much as Mommy does. But I'm beginning to think it will always be a part of my life! I think I'll learn to like it more.

I have six teeth and I'm fine if that's all I get. They hurt when they come in and make me pretty grumpy. Plus they don't do a whole lot, I can swallow all of my food. I'm afraid I might be getting some more, because I'm really drooling and biting all the time, and those are usually the signs of incoming chompers.

Sometimes when I'm around other people, I get really shy, and bury my face into Daddy's chest to hide. I overheard him telling mommy that he just loves it when I do that, it makes him feel so needed. And so now sometimes even when I'm not feeling scared, I still do it to make him feel special. I love my Daddy!

For these pictures, Mom threw leaves on my head and gave me a pumpkin to play with, so it was actually kind of fun! Except for when it started to get close to my naptime and I wanted to go home.

All in all, I'd say it's been an eventful month since my last update. Only two more until my 1st birthday party! Oh boy am I looking forward to that. I hope it will be a big bash with lots of friends and family and yummy things to eat. Hopefully Mommy doesn't forget! She forgot Daddy's once. And then only 5 days after that is something called Christmas. Mommy says it is a celebration of Someone else's birthday, and He's a pretty Special Person. I can't wait to find out what that is all about!

This is Jocelyn Kate, over and out!

Ramblings...

2011-09-29T23:16:00.000-07:00

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   I'm sorry.   Why do I feel like I'm always starting out my blog posts with an apology? Oh I know, it's because I never post anymore, and I feel guilty about that. But you know what, I feel a little lost these days. Like my priorities are a little screwed up and I'm not sure how to get them straight again. (Curse you, pinterest, for stealing all my precious time!) O.k. so it doesn't steal THAT much time. And I shouldn't curse. So, rewind, erase.

   In other news, am I the only one that feels like every chic, hip, trendy blogger out there in this wide, wonderful universe is Mormon? I mean seriously, is Mormon like the new "thing" to be? Is it a trend, like knotting your belts and DIY crafts? I guess I missed that train. And frankly, it's kind of annoying me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the funny humorisms, and the interesting fashion tips, and the cute pictures and laddi-da-da, but the whole, "I really don't believe what you believe" guardrail that keeps flinging up in my face every time I read one of their blogs is raining on my parade.

So what is a person to do? Not read those blogs? Approach them about it? Witness? For some reason all of those options seem a little pathetic. So I'm just left feeling slightly irked and strangely unique for being a blogger who's actually NOT a Mormon.

   In other news, we just got back from a LOVELY trip to Phoenix, and I would say that I am going to post pictures soon, but let's be honest, I have no idea when that will be, and I *gasp* haven't even taken Jocelyn's 9 month ones yet, so that would come first.

   I have a love/hate relationship with this blog. It's a wonderful outlet for my thoughts and ideas 25% of the time, it's a way to show pictures to family and friends 25% of the time, and it's a fun hobby 25% of the time. But the OTHER 25% of the time, it's a burr. A nag. An annoying little mosquito whine in my ear telling me I'm neglecting something. I'm procrastinating. Falling behind. A little voice whispering, "Just give it up, you'll never have an awesome blog like those Mormon girls anyway. You'll never get 92 flippin' comments over a picture and one lousy, sappy paragraph about how your husband likes nothing more than to fold your socks." And I almost listen. I mean honestly, my blog is something i would LOVE to invest in. Develop. Commit to. Improve. But there are other, huge needs in my life and one starts with an R, and one starts with a J. And they come first, folks, period.

   And then there's the small matter of falling behind in my Bible study homework while I somehow found the time to write all this....that's jut not quite right either. And so no, I don't feel like God is watching me with a to-do list I need to cross off before I can pursue my interests.... 1. Make hubby's lunch. 2. Change baby's diaper. 3. Read Bible. Etc.etc. It's not about that. HOWEVER, it is about putting others before myself which was commanded by, oh I don't know, JESUS. So I should probably do that. And so, although blogging is something I love and it drives me a hair short of crazy-beans that my blog isn't even half of what I want it to be, I'm going to have to be OK with that for now. Because I'm going to be getting some other things in order before I invest more time and energy into this thing. If only I could get organized, then I'm SURE it would be do-able!

    If you actually faithfully read this thing, blessed be the extent of your patience! And I truly am sorry with how sporadically I post. I treasure each and every comment, even if I don't always reply. (Another thing I've dropped the ball on) Really truly, feedback and traffic makes my day. It just means something to know that the pictures, memories, thoughts and moments I share, actually reach someone. This blog has been a journal, a photo album, and a sounding board, and I'm better because of it. So don't give up on me just yet. This just isn't it's time to shine.

Thanks.

Why, hello there, fall!

2011-09-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am excited for this new season...chunky cable-knit sweaters, hats, scarves, crunchy leaves, pumpkin spice lattes...what's not to love? With summer officially over, (well I guess I don't know when it is officially over, it just seems like it is with the first cold rainy day having arrived) I will do a quick summer re-cap. Mind you, it will be like the tip of the iceberg, but it will be a glimpse at least.

Summer of 2011 was....

Birthday parties

Visitors

Bike rides

Baseball and softball games

Camping

Weddings

Spending time with friends

Swimming and playing by the creek

Food

That special day in August:)

State fair

4th of July

Hiking

Hot dates

And oh-so-much more that wasn't mentioned or pictured, but I have reached my photo limit. No, blogger doesn't have a limit, I DO. It's whenever I get sick of trying to upload stuff and deal with silly ones that won't load right, etc. It was a great summer, I am very blessed and have so much to be thankful for. This blog helps prevent me from forgetting all the little things we do throughout the year, and I'm very glad for that.

And may I just end with a shout out to the Mr. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, the one with the handsome face. I know you read my blog. :) Thanks for being my hero in so many ways this summer....

Coming up with creative ways to beat the heat in our little apartment.
Never once making me feel like I should do more canning.
Supporting, even ENCOURAGING me to go spend the day at the pool, even when you had to work in the heat.
Taking me on awesome dates.
Playing volleyball with friends on my birthday when I know you'd rather do a lot of other things.
Watching Jocelyn so I can watch Gilmore Girls with the ladies. :)

And so much more. I love you! Here's to another fantastic summer for the history books. Now, bring on the fall!

Crafting.

2011-09-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

You know you are officially an adult when something like "crafting" gets you as excited as a new piece of clothing used to. Maybe even more. I am just loving it! I'll have to post pictures of my recent crafts when I get around to downloading them, but for now, I will give you a sneak peek of the project I'm currently working on....

That photo was found here, and I'm not making mine exactly like those, but you get the idea. I am so excited! I am constantly wishing I had more canvas storage bins, or baskets, or toy boxes, etc....and then I see the price tag on them in the store and promptly return them to the shelf. After I pick my jaw up off the floor. It's just too hard for me to pay that much for a container for all of my junk! So when I spotted this tutorial to make snazzy canvas ones out of diaper boxes that you already have lying around the house, I got pretty excited.:) I'll have to post pics when I'm done.

Little blurb.

2011-09-07T22:42:00.000-07:00

   I honestly have no clue what I am going to blog about, but I just can't take the guilt anymore. The last update keeps staring me in the face as if it's saying, "You're such a lazy blogger. Your blog is gathering dust worse than the windows you desperately need to wash. And the car. And the kitchen floor. And you KNOW that's bad. Must. Post. An update. Now." So, here I am.

   There's nothing worse than eating ice cream you don't really like. I mean, really bad, freezer-burned low-quality fake-tasting ice cream. All the while you're thinking, "The calories I am consuming on something I don't even like should be in the form of vegetables, NOT ice cream!" But you continue to eat it because it's cold and you're sweating in a little stuffy apartment that doesn't seem to get the memo at night that it's colder outside than it is inside, and it's time to cool down.

Jossie's latest adventure today was pooping all over her Grandma. And I mean all over. The poor dear. I guess, poor both dears, because Jossie wouldn't have pooped all over if I had changed her diaper earlier, giving her a nice, dry diaper to poop in. Instead, her diaper was all soaked, and the poo had no place to go but out.

   In other news, I canned corn today. Which is a weird term, because you really don't "can" anything. We took it off the cob, cooked it, and froze it. In any case, it feels really good to have that finished.

I discovered today that Jocelyn is afraid of cats. Over at my in-laws, they have the sweetest little black kitten, who really is a wonderful pet. It's all sweet and purring and rub-up-on-your-leg type of friendly, and lets the children do all sorts of annoying things to it without getting rumpled. Well, I put Joce down and here comes the kitten, and she just starts waving her arms and crying in a desperate sort of way, and so I scooped her up and comforted her, and then put her back down again. The kitten started to approach again, and Joce started up her wailing. It was the funniest thing, and there was a part of me that just wanted to do it over and over again to see her reaction, but that would be provoking your daughter to wrath, wouldn't it?

   I have to go to bed now. I really can hardly stay up past 10:30 these days without paying for it dearly the next morning. I don't know if that means I'm old, a mom, or just plain lame, but it's what it is.

   And because I can't hardly allow myself to post without a single picture, here's one just for fun.

There's just something about a fresh, clean Jocelyn all snuggled up in a towel that breaks my heart a little bit. Every time.

Goin' to the chapel...

2011-09-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

...and we're, gonna get ma-a-a-arried.

*At this time go ahead and scroll down to the bottom of the post and play the song right now. Do it. You know you want to. It'll be fun.

   That was the song that was playing as the bride and her bridesmaids rode into the wedding site on white cloth-covered hay bales on a wagon pulled by a tractor. Love it! It was picturesque. Which is a word that could be used to describe the whole wedding, for that matter.

   Barney and Nikki are two very unique, colorful personalities, and it was reflected by their one-of-a-kind, unforgettable wedding. Located down by the creek on the family farm, it was filled with rustic details like burlap and twine, old window frames, antique furniture and hay bales. They had lovely weather, great music, sweet vows, and good food. It was a lovely time.

   Unfortunately, something was funky with my photography skills that night, and I'm quite disappointed in the pictures I got. I couldn't seem to find a way to capture the right lighting, and everything was either bathed in that horrendous flash light, or blurry. Ug. But since I'm sure you'd be more annoyed at not seeing any than seeing my flops, I will humble myself and put some on here.

The sight that welcomed you as you parked in the field and made your way to the wedding site.

One of my favorite details (second to the music!) were the rope lights.

He makes quite a handsome groomsman, if I do say so myself.

Tell me, are photo booths ever a bad idea? Didn't think so.

Wore a thrifted dress that I found for $6.95. Felt...well...thrifty.:)

Trying out for the next cover of GQ.

Nikki had a lovely dress, this photo doesn't quite do it justice.

Fireworks lit the sky as they rode off on the wagon behind the tractor!

And it was just the beginning....

8 months old.

2011-08-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

Jocelyn here, for my monthly blog post about how old I'm getting.
Sometimes Daddy and Mommy are so hard to understand. Daddy puts me in the swing and says, "She looks SO big!!" and almost sounds a little sad, but then later he says, "I can't wait until she's a little older and can ride in the truck with me." And then Mommy calls me "Little Miss" and "Mama's Big Girl" so I can't for the life of me figure out if they wish I was smaller or bigger, or if I'm just right. Well, hopefully they don't mind it if I grow bigger, because I sure am! I'm eight whole months!

A little info about me and what I'm up to these days:

I've finally doubled my birth weight! I am 14 lbs and 1 oz. and 28" tall. That puts me in the 75th-90th percentile for height, and below the 5th percentile in weight. I wouldn't know any of this if I hadn't peeked at the baby book as Mommy was writing it in. I can't figure out why Mommy gets so excited when she loses weight, and equally excited when I gain some. Big people are so confusing!

My eyes are still blue, so maybe they'll stay that way. My hair is getting light and lighter, and now is a medium brown with just a touch of red in it when the natural light hits it. Mommy likes to think it's auburn, which is a fancy name for brown.

My feet are still looong like Mommy's, and I don't have many shoes that fit right now. Mommy has been trying to find some, but she can be pretty picky when it comes to shoes and as daddy likes to say, "indecisive". I don't know what that means, I just know I don't hardly have any shoes right now. So I go barefoot most places. Good thing it's summer!

I am quickly getting a mouth full of teeth, as teeth #5 and #6 are peeking through. I like to try them out on Mommy but she never seems to enjoy it as much as I do. Here I am trying them out now!

Daddy and Mommy keep putting me on my tummy to see if I will crawl, but I'm not having any of it. It's just not nearly as fun as sitting up nice and tall and playing with all my toys. I'd much rather lean way over to try and reach things than lay on my belly like a beached whale, flapping around getting nowhere. No thanks, guys.

This talking thing sure is tough. I have all these thoughts and ideas and feelings and emotions, but when I try to express them, it just comes out "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai", or "Ppppbbbbtttthhhhhhh", or "RRRRRrrrr", which I think should be real words, but I guess they're not. Sometimes I say "Da" and Daddy gets pretty excited, but Mommy not so much. She keeps saying, "Say mama! Mum. Mum. Mum. MUM." But I don't get it. I talk to her all day long and tell her I love her all the time!

I'm starting to get pretty bored with my toys, and I'd much rather play with big people things. Things like spatulas, spoons, wire whisks, packs of gum, brush and comb, hand sanitizer, and pretty much anything that's not a little baby toy. I am 8 months, after all.

Mommy and Daddy still go on dates without me, so I guess I'm not the center of their universe like I thought. But it's o.k., I like staying with Grandma and Auntie Stephanie. They have lots and lots of cool toys and feed me yummies and then when Mommy gets back she kisses me all over and says "I missed you! I love you so much Little Miss!" And it makes me feel pretty special. I guess I'm maybe not the center of their world, but pretty close.

Well there you have it folks, a little bit about me and this time of my life. Mommy's already starting to think about (Daddy calls it worrying about) my first birthday party. I can't wait! 1 YEAR OLD. Doesn't it just sound so grown-up? I'm sure I'll get to do all kinds of things by then. Like drive a car and run for President and stuff. I'll just have to wait a few more months.

It's Saturday! Go out and play in the sun, big people.

I plan to.

This and that. Long overdue.

2011-08-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

My deepest apologies. I'd be amazed if anyone even still reads this blog after how badly its been neglected over the past few weeks! There was just too much wonderful activity crammed into my waking hours to spend even a few moments on blogging. The things that have kept me occupied as of late:

Wonderful, splendid, fantastic visitors from the homeland: my mom, my brother Shawn, and my friend Lindsay. We had a terrific time, but that will need a blog post of its own, and that will have to wait until I can get some pictures. :(
A wedding. A beautiful, breath-taking out-door wedding with great music, a fairy-tale setting, and perfect weather. That will also require a post of its own.
Spending time with Byran & Amy & Xavier while they were out for aforementioned wedding.
Other things that just seem to fill in all the cracks of an otherwise busy schedule.

Things like playing with cousins......

It's ~~very hard~~ nearly impossible to get those three looking at the camera at the same time. Or even just looking up at the same time for that matter. Oh well. They're still adorable. And in that last one, Xavier's hair reminds me of Randy's!

Summer days are for lazy times too, like blowing raspberries in the chub rolls of a loved one.

Somehow I married a ripped, handsome hunk of a man, (I mean seriously check out those biceps in the first pic!) and was blessed by a darling little cherub straight from Heaven. Not taking credit here folks, just feeling awed and blessed. So blessed.

And sometimes, when hubs is singing at the prison on Sunday mornings and it seems like it will just be too much to get myself and baby girl out of the house and to church on time, I stay home. In my defense, I really needed to sleep in that morning. And it turned out to be a lovely morning! I love going to church, I truly do, but I think sometimes the best "church-time" can be found on a long walk down to the banks of a quiet river, surrounded by nature, listening to the quiet and to God, and re-charging one's spirit. And that's just what I did.

Joce played contentedly on a blanket, and I re-charged. It was lovely.

It's official, Joce rocks a hat. Arrgghh she's so cute I want to eat her! There it is, a phrase that never made any sense to me whatsoever until I was a mom.

Well there you have it folks, just a little glimpse and I mean, teeny tiny peek into our lives this summer. I finally figured out how to get pics from my iPhone onto my blog *thunderous round of applause* and so those will give a bigger peek into our summer, when I get around to posting them. Grace, mercy, patience, understanding. These are the attributes needed in readers of my blog. ;)

Thursday is drawing to a close folks, it's all downhill from here!

Grateful Monday.

2011-08-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

   Good morning world! I would like it to be known that I am trying to remain upbeat and positive, even though it's cold and drizzly outside. See? I don't always complain about the weather. :p

   I was inspired yesterday. Maybe it was because it was a Sunday, and I rather enjoy Sundays. Or maybe it was because I helped sing on the praise and worship team, and that always seems to kick-start my week in a good way. Or maybe it was because of a combination of different things, but whatever the reason, I was just struck with gratitude for my many blessings. If you're a worrier like me, that is a welcome change, trust me!

   It occurred to me, that out of all the situations, bad life choices, unhealthy environments (physically and spiritually) I could have ended up in, I have:

A wonderful husband who loves me and shows it daily.
A beautiful, healthy, sweet little girl that has changed me forever.
A healthy mind, body and spirit.
Family who care about me.
Friends who add depth to my life.
A God who desires a relationship with me.
A place to live.
Money to spend.
Food to eat.
Clothes to wear.
A car to drive. (not right now, it's in the shop. But usually!)
Dreams, goals and visions.
Gifts, abilities and skills.
Passion.

   The list could go on and on. And the best part is...it is all God's doing! I could have been born any place on the earth, or not born at all. I could have been born blind, or deaf, or severely disabled. I could have been born into poverty and suffering. I could have been unable to have children. I could have married the wrong guy. I could have turned my back on God. I could have alienated myself from family and friends. I could have ended up so many different places, but by God's grace, I am here. I am here in this life I call my own, and it's a good one. And I am THANKFUL.

   I think so often we are just gobbling up whatever life can serve us, with an attitude of, "I deserve all this and more. I only want what's coming to me, and it's the best of everything, of course." Or "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and made myself into what I am today. I got no help from nobody and the only person I can count on is me." Or how about, "Embrace your beauty and the strength from within yourself. Because the power inside of you is the only thing that can bring about all of your hopes and dreams for your future."

RUBBISH.

   I am here to tell you folks, that without God, I would not be a shadow of the person I am today, and the only things my life would have yielded would be shame, selfish emptiness, vanity and sorrow. all glory goes to HIM who made beauty from ashes, and has poured out gallons of blessing upon me, until I am drowning in it, wondering at his mercy. He is good! He is good when things are good, and He is good when things aren't. But I can honestly say, He is good.

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What are you thankful for on this Monday?

Inspirations.

2011-08-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

Let's see if I can drum up a little post from the hazy fog and foggy haze that is my brain right now.

Jocelyn is teething. For some reason, her top two teeth have been worse than her bottom two, making for some very long days for all of us.
I feel stretched thin these days. Like I'm going in too many directions to give myself fully to any one thing, you know?
My brain is too full to process. I've got house-hunting/craft-making/child-rearing/family-visiting/baby-dedicating/friendship-connecting/food-cooking on the brain, and a lot of other things.

I was going to do some "snapshots of summer from my iPhone", but I can't get it to work and let's just be honest, I'm running on empty to start with so that's probably not such a good idea to try and tackle. So what do we do when we have no photos? We use other's peoples!

Random things..............

This girl makes being pregnant look fashionable, effortless, and fun. Win-win.

Will I have a home someday that I can make warm, relaxing and inviting?

And pray tell, will I ever possess even a fraction of the talent, energy, motivation and slap-your-knee creativity of this amazing seamstress/photographer? Will I ever get to that point? Reach that plateau? Hmmm? Will I?!

I just want to reach the point in life where I'm sewing together darling little outfits for Jossie and taking fabulous pictures of it all. Pretty please?

I'm off. Enjoy the weekend lovelies.

2011-07-31T01:00:00.000-07:00

7 months old.

2011-07-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Hello folks, it's been a while! I'm here to talk about being seven months old, and boy is it fun to be older than all the little shrimpy 6-month-olds!

As you can see, I'm sitting up very well on my own now, but have taken a couple ouchy falls. I'm learning to hold myself better and better though. Still don't like "tummy time", I'd much rather sit and play with toys.

I guess I am alot like my mama after all because I just love to be outside. Sunshine and blue skies, that's where Mommy and me belong. Unfortunately we also belong in Oregon, and so we see sunshine about 2 months out of the year. *Sigh*

I really like to blow spit bubbles and make a "Bpbpbpbpbbptttthhhhhh" sound. Here I am doing it now.

One nice thing about the place we live is that it is within walking distance of the river. We both like to go down there on sunny days and dip our toes in the frigid water. It helps us cool off because we have no air conditioning!

   In other news, I am getting two more teeth!! Than I will have four!! Surely then Mommy will let me have Doritos. It has been kind of tough growing teeth. For such tiny little things, they sure hurt alot! It has made me pretty moody lately, and not feel like eating anything, which stresses Mom out. She must be one brave, strong woman, because she has a whole mouthful of teeth and doesn't cry at all! I cant wait to try some of the fruit popsicles Mommy made yesterday, I think they will feel so good on my sore gums.

   Well we have to run over to the mill and give Daddy his lunch. It's Friday AND a beautiful day! What more could you ask for?

Monday pick-me-up!

2011-07-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

   If you're needing a laugh today like I was, or if you just want a reason to sit down and be jolly for a while and put the cares of the world away, I've got just the thing for you. Just put down the Sunday comics and stop watching Youtube videos of little kids all drugged up after the dentist saying silly things. Head on over to this hilarious blog, and you will be feeling chipper in no time.

   She absolutely never fails to get a laugh out of me, or at least a smile. And while the furniture re-do is lovely, that's not what you need to check out. It is the link she mentions in her post to the Ugly Lamp Contest. THAT is what you need to check out. Her captions and descriptions just struck me completely hilarious, and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. I was trying to read and nurse at the same time, which usually works, but not in this case. I kept shaking with laughter and Jocelyn would look up at me all confused at first, and then get this huge grin as if she knew what was funny and was sharing in our little joke.

   In any case, if it doesn't even slightly amuse you, please leave me a comment because I want to meet this rare specimen of a human without a shred of a sense of humor. I tell you, she's funny. O.k., that's my plug for the day.

   In other news, summer brings lots of parties, namely birthday ones, and here is a couple we attended:

   Little Anna Lee, daughter of our friends Brandon & Cindy, turned four.

Aunt Rita with one of the twins. I won't try to guess which one. :)

Hot guy at the party, pretty baby.

Sweet little children.

Great food! But with Cindy, no one would expect less.

She had a lot of children willing to help her open her gifts. :) Here she is opening the pots and pans I gave her. This girl loves to cook and bake with her mommy, I think it's the sweetest thing!

And this party was a surprise one for Alisa Baker!

Here's Nathan, giving instructions. He did a great job pulling off the surprise party!

Travis & Mallory, who very recently got married. Isn't she glowing? Literally, because a shaft of sun fell just right on her face. :)

Jocelyn & Liesl and their daddies.

Amazing food.

The radiant birthday girl!

I've been enjoying this summer so far, in spite of the schizo-phrenic weather. But I've been feeling slightly convicted lately about how much I complain about the weather. Is that like complaining to God? So I'll try to cut back on that. It's just that I think God created me with about 5x the need for Vitamin D than a normal person. I. Need. Sun. And not just sun, but hothothot. I love the summer for these two very things, and we've seen little-to-none of it this year. *pout* Oh wait, I thought I wasn't going to complain so much.....

Happy Monday!

Saturday-ing.

2011-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

What is it about Saturdays that makes me want to do shoppingswimmingcleaningbakingorganizingblogginggardeningcraftingbiking and a bunch of other "ings" and think that somehow, I can get it all done and not neglect the child? I don't know what it is, but Saturdays have it. That feeling in the air. It's not the lazy feeling that other days have. Hmmm. So I think I'll have to make myself a to-do list, because everyone knows you are more motivated to accomplish things when you have things to cross off.

Clean car, inside and out.
~~Make baked oatmeal and coffee for breakfast.~~
Clean apartment.
Soak up some sun.
~~Blog.~~
Go on a bike ride.
~~Make husband's day just a little bit nicer.~~
~~Watch Jackie's wedding online.~~

See, I'm already half-done! Isn't that nice. And since my list is far too long already to go into town, (plus we're trying extra hard to save money right now) I'll just do a little online shopping! And by "shopping" I mean look around at things I would like, not necessarily buying anything. :)

These clothes! Drooling.....

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Finally!!! A solution to dresses and skirts that are too short. And it's found here....

A cute diaper bag. Can't have too many!

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These boots....

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Shoes for Jossie....

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A little initial charm in honor of my dearest little ray of sunshine....

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And so much more. But lest you all start to believe I'm a shopoholic, don't worry. I like to look around, but I don't impulsively buy. If anything, I think way too long and hard about things I want, constantly checking and re-checking them online, looking for coupons, comparing prices, and shopping around, until I've spent so much time waiting that the desire has faded and I end up not buying anything at all. It's a good habit, if you ask me. :) Now I must be off to tackle the other items on my list!

Happy Saturday-ing, everyone!

iLovin'.

2011-07-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

   My little white iPhone will always hold a special place in my heart, partially just because it's awesome, but mostly because of the way I came to have one.

   My dear hubsy had one, and I'm not sure how he ever figured out I wanted one (maybe it was the numerous times I was borrowing his, or the way drool ran down the left side of my mouth every time I looked at it....not sure what tipped him off!) but being the super-intuitive man that he is, knew I wanted one.

   Anyway, it was just another summer day, not a birthday, not an anniversary, or I may have become suspicious, when he made arrangements for us to go out on a date. It was a scavenger-hunt date, which in my opinion are probably the best kind. I opened the first envelope and it said, " This is an adventure I've planned for you, a scavenger hunt yes it's true. Open the glove box and you will find, Norah Jones to soothe your mind." Does this man know his stuff or what?

   Then it was on to clue #2, which led us to Five Guys, the absolute best place around for burgers and cajun fries. Mmmmm. Next was #3, which said "It's off to a favorite place of yours, there's shopping and people spending money galore, but first check the center console and you will see, just what is waiting there for thee." And lo and behold, there were some pretty necklaces in the center console. He picked out the perfect ones too!

So off we traipsed to the mall and split up to do some shopping. (This is when he was getting the phone, totally unbeknownst to me.) Clue #4 said, "It's time for a walk so let's get some fresh air, let's open the trunk...oh my! What do you see? Yes it's true a nice white frisbee. Now follow your husband for a walk to the park. Let's hurry before we get caught in the dark!" And so we went to a lovely park and played frisbee to our hearts content. It was a warm, sunny day and we enjoyed every moment.

Clue #5 led us to frozen yogurt, clue #6 to the movies, and finally, last but not least I opened a clue that read, "It's shiny, it's white, it's very brand new, open the glove box and see what is waiting for you." And there it was! My trusty sidekick, my garage sale navigator, weather forecaster, facebook browser and oh-so-much-more iPhone, sitting there all sleek and shiny, and boy was I shocked. I had no clue! Really, this date had been so amazing already, I had no idea there was more in store for me, much less a phone that was nicer than any phone I'd ever had and I'll admit, feel a little guilty about owning.

I only got a few pictures from that day because we were too busy running from clue to clue and having a blast.

But I will treasure that day in my memory for years to come! What a thoughtful, romantic gesture! It's not even just about the phone. Don't get me wrong, I love my phone. But what I love more is the fact that he pursued my heart, took me on an adventure, and spent his day having quality time with me. That is what I will not soon forget. I hope I don't ever take him for granted! Single ladies, HOLD OUT for that man that will make all of your dreams come true. The one who knows just how to speak your love language, and delights in delighting you. It's worth the wait, no matter how long.

Babe, thanks so much for making life with you an adventure. I love you.

I'm six whole months old!

2011-07-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

    Actually, I'm seven months old tomorrow, but that's the title Mommy told me to use for this post, so that it wouldn't confuse people. It's a little more confusing that way, if you ask me, but these pictures were taken back when I was only six months, so there you have it.

   Everyone who sees me says I am growing sooooo fast, but I just don't get it. I can't even crawl yet, and it has taken me six WHOLE months to get just two little teeth. I am eating some food now, mostly fruits and veggies, but I can't eat Doritos yet like Mommy or drink Diet Pepsi like Daddy, so if you ask me, I am growing pretty slow.

Mommy always says we're going to "take pictures" but we never really take anything. She just dresses me up and puts me on the ground and dances around to make me smile while making a strange clicking sound about a million times with a big black thing sticking right in my face. It's a little embarrassing, but I have to admit, kinda alot of fun.

"Mommy, everybody's looking funny at you." (and they were!)

So then I guess a lady thought it was pretty funny the way Mommy was hopping around trying to get me to smile, so she offered to come help. Mommy clicked away with the black thing while the strange lady waved Giraffey in the air and made silly faces. She was funny.

After a while, I started to get pretty bored. It was starting to get cold out and Mommy still wasn't done. Sometimes it takes a really, really long time. I started to feel a little sad and lonely. And hungry.

Yummmmm.

Mommy saw that I was getting sad, so she brought out Mr. Bear. I like him alot. He doesn't seem to mind all my hugs and kisses.

Mommy doesn't want to put away these sandals because they're one of her favorites, but my piggies are starting to stick out. Maybe I'll have to hide them so that she'll buy me a new pair that fits better!

If you want my opinion, in this picture I look like Baby Shrek. But Mommy did my hair, so don't blame me.

    Finally, we're all done! Mommy put my jacket on and I went right to sleep in the stroller on the way home. It was a fun day. I liked walking down to the river, meeting the nice, funny lady and holding Mr. Bear, but I was very ready to go home.

   It's nice being seven months old, but I can't wait to crawl! Sitting in the Bumbo just doesn't cut it anymore, and I am happier just sitting on the floor with toys all around me. I love to tear my bib off and grab my spoon when Mommy feeds me. Biting is another favorite thing right now, it feels so good to bite books, paper, plastic bags, Mommy....lots of things I'm not supposed to I guess. But they're so much more interesting than the teething toys! Especially Mommy, I always get a fun reaction out of her. Well, I must be going. Places to go, people to see, things to bite.

This is Jocelyn Kate, over and out.

Iowa, Part 2.

2011-07-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

    "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." -Ecclesiastes 4:10

    Thank-you Jesus, for friends. I have made and lost friends over the years, and my experiences with different friends have taught me many things. But most of all, they have taught me this: They are often taken for granted. You never realize quite how precious a friendship can be until it is lost. Or how much of a gap it fills in your life until it is gone. Or in the case of my friendships now, how much light they shine into your life, until you are too far away to see it.

   My visit home was lovely in a lot of ways. Having Jocelyn meet and spend time with my family is priceless to me. I wanted to freeze the moments, savoring each one and locking it away in my memory forever. There is something about having a child that makes my thought patterns a little morbid at times: I wonder when I'm with loved ones if perhaps it will be the last time I get to see them. If that snapshot will be the last one I take. If that kiss on Jocelyn's chubby little cheeks will be the last they get to give.

I'm not sure why I think this way; my family and friends are young. But hey, we won't live forever.

   Meeting for breakfast. A cup of coffee. Shopping in town. A day at the pool. Lunch. These are simple things, not ground-breaking, newsworthy events, not paparazzi-filled moments. But these were the moments I cherished on this trip, moments of connecting with dear friends. Thank-you for those.

No trip to Kalona is complete with a visit to the Bakery, of course! We enjoyed a long, leisurely breakfast and solved most of the world's problems before we were through.

Jossie finally got to meet her friend Eli! Younger by two months, he's definitely a boy and catching right up there in size! Aww these little munchkins just get me.

On the way to the Kalona Coffehouse to meet with friends, I just had to swing by the place I used to babysit and see the Ferreira family!

*Seth is not pictured* The kids are all growing up so fast, and they just loved meeting Jocelyn. It helped get them excited for their baby brother soon to arrive! Then they will have seven boys and two girls!

Then it was on my way to indulge in coffee, conversation, and cherished fellowship! Cheesy? O.k.

(Joce with cousin Jeff. He and his wife own the coffee shop.)

This adorable cowboy would be none other than the one, the only, Lucas. Floyd & Elaine's son.

And there's the lovely couple themselves!

Michelle, their oldest daughter.

Christopher, their firstborn son. Doesn't that sound...Biblical? And lookie here ladies, it looks like he's on the menu, and "hot" at that! (Man, what is it with this post and corny jokes?)

Lucas again, with his ice cream cone. He's just hard not to take pictures of!

Love this. Looks like Janene and Floyd are deep in discussion and Merlene and Lindsay are just trying not to laugh.

Me and my girl with Elaine and hers, Michelle and Audrey.

Thanks for all the good times, ladies, I loved every moment.

I was also able to meet with the volleyball team I used to coach, and catch up on each other's lives over coffee, ice cream, and a walk around Kalona. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of that. :( But hey, that's kind of a theme of this trip. I certainly didn't capture everything, just little glimpses here and there. So there you have it folks, my journey has come to a close. Finally, I can blog about other things now!

Must run, I have a camping trip to pack for! Whatever you all are doing tonight and tomorrow, I'm sure it will not be as wonderful as sitting in a chair around a fire, fishing, boating, and lounging. Sorry, had to break it to you.

I truly love camping.

Iowa, Part 1.

2011-07-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

    This will have to be brief, because of three reasons. 1. Smoothie was spilled on our keyboard, making it difficult to type. 2. Jocelyn is sleeping and nap time is precious time! 3. The last time I had a long post all ready to go, it disappeared, and I have not yet forgiven blogger.

   Nevertheless, I will try and post because "blog material" has been stacking up in my head for days, and it. Needs. Out. I have Iowa pictures yet to do, Jocelyn's 6-month old post, (which is now a month late) and about an entire series worth on 1 Corinthians. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder if I should just cancel my blog and keep a journal. I love to write, but when I have a blog I save my writing for that, and then I don't journal. And so when I get to busy to blog, I don't write at all. And since it's a blog, and all the cool blogs have lots of pictures, I feel I need to do that, and so that takes up time and so I write even less. And then there's facebook which eats time too, and then....o.k. so I guess it's not my blog's fault at all, I just need a little time management.

   Moving on, the Iowa trip. It was filled with time spent with family and friends, and so I will post about each in due time. This one will be about F-A-M-I-L-Y.

Jocelyn's first taste of food! (I know, I know, it shouldn't be watermelon:p)

Deep-fried chicken!

Classic Graber: Simultaneous conversations.

"Oh yours is funnier, I think I'll listen to you now!"

Caught these girls in the basement playing "funeral".

Jocelyn with Aunt Jana, the writer.

First taste of peaches!

Oldest to youngest! (Shannon, me, Shawn, Shelby, Shane, Sheryl, Shaylon)

Birthday boy

"Ahh, Grandma loves me."

Sorry, I know I'm not elaborating on the photos with captions, but I just don't have the time. Another week maybe, but not this one! Tonight we are looking at a house (pray for us!) and going to Konrad's to celebrate Elissa's birthday. Tomorrow night I practice singing for Praise and worship. Thursday and Friday we are camping. Saturday is a wedding. Sunday is the church picnic which I have to take a hot and cold dish to, and I'm having a mini panic attack because a past church potluck dish was a disaster and o.k. let's be honest I always have mini panic attacks about making food for events, it's just not my forte, I wish I could help in some other way, and I realize this is the longest run-on sentence ever but I don't care and Jocelyn just woke up, so this is me, signing off!

Have a good Tuesday folks! Ours is cold and rainy and it's July 12. Can't do much worse than that. :p

Venting.

2011-07-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

Aarrrgggghhhh!! Blogger just deleted my first installment of Iowa pics! Frustration. Jocelyn is sleeping so technically I COULD do it again, but nap time is precious time, and I wanted to take a nap, and when you're a mom of a 6 month old and your time is meted out in sparse little portions, and you spend more than you should on a single blog post in the first place and it gets deleted, well, good feelings are not flowing.

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I will be back, when I and this lousy computer have made amends, to re-post the pictures. *Sigh*

Maust family, UNITE! Or...reunite.

2011-07-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

The next leg of our trip (yes, I'm STILL blogging about our trip. So much to cover!) was a brief, but wonderful stay at my Uncle Larry and Aunt Cherie's house in Tennessee for a family reunion. The Maust family is spread out over quite a few states, and it seems we don't get together near as much as we used to. Sad, very sad indeed. But these short few days were cherished as we reconnected and caught up on each other's lives!

First of all, let me give you a brief tour around the house. They bought an old mill house, (it has a water wheel on the side that I neglected to get a picture of) and fixed it up all purty-like. Honestly, it's gorgeous. They put so much work into it, and it has literally transformed over the years from what it once was. And I didn't even get pictures of all of it or the lovely guest house, where we stayed. But here are a few of the pictures I did get.

This front porch greets you as you walk up the steps and into the front door, and is a place where people liked to gather in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a conversation. Every home should have a front porch, in my opinion.

Moving inside, a place that beckons you in is the kitchen. I love the high ceiling and the bins for her dry goods, and I'm so jealous of her huge pantry!

I want one!

(Small eating area off of the kitchen)

Walking up the stairs (behind the couch the two boys are on) opens up into this den, or family room, that was a popular spot.

Someone's been playing hard. :)

Here's a sunny little nook for reading or putting puzzles together, and is positively inviting.

Loft above the kitchen, a.k.a play room.

View from the play room.

Part of one of the upstairs bedrooms.

Porch below the front deck

Uncle Larry and Uncle Darryl

We tried to pack in as much fun as we could into our few short days, and I think we succeeded! The trip consisted of:

1. A bridal shower for Bito and Jackie! It was so great to get to know her fiance, and welcome him into the Maust family. As part of the shower, they had to bake a cake without a recipe!

2. Four-wheeling! They have some of the absolute greatest places to ride four wheeler. County "roads" that are more like cow paths that cross streams and twist and turn through the thick woods.

3. Water-falling. Yes, it's a verb.

4. No trip to Tennessee would be complete without spelunking! Uncle Larry, our fearless leader, led this motley crew through the caves that night. Somehow, the swarms of bats, steep climbs up and down slippery clay, repelling down the rocks, and crawling through tight spots was all a bit harder and scarier than I remembered! Same caves though, so I must have just gotten weaker and wimpier post-baby. :)

5. Campfires and roasting marshmellows

6. And of course, spending quality time with family. I say we make this an annual event! Who's with me?

Joce with her great-Grandma Thelma

And great-Grandpa Clayton

Tirzah, Nadine and Haven

Expecting # 6!

Ahh, the memories I have with Justin. When we were kids, we were absolutely inseperable!

Who knows. :)

Little Carson loved my hat.

Joce with McKenzie

Ladies' tea party; Aunt Cherie reads some recipes

Delicious homemade Feta

Four generations together, what a blessing!

We had a wonderful time and it was over far too soon. I really hope we continue to get together so Jocelyn can learn to know her Maust side even better. For those that weren't there, we missed you! Family is such a wonderful thing, I hope I never take it for granted.

Pink or blue?

2011-06-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Is poo a sacrilegious thing to pray for? I hope not, because I've been praying for it for a whole day now.

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   Joce has been having some trouble ever since I pureed a couple of sweet potatoes and froze them into little cubes and subsquently fed her a lot of them every day, because that's what I had on hand. I like feeding her homemade baby food, and it didn't really occur to me to mix it up much because I read somewhere that it's a good idea to feed the same food for 4 days straight to make sure no allergies develop, so I figured it would be fine. Well, I think she's a little stopped up from all those yummy yams, (which she loves, by the way) and so now I'm feeding her prunes. Which, amazingly, she likes. Go figure.

   So. Calling all Moms. And Grandmas. And baby food experts. And whoever else wants to weigh in on the situation. I am very open to all advice, tips, suggestions, ideas, etc. that you may have on the topic of baby food. What amount is a good serving size? What is a good variety of fruits/veggies and what is too much variety? Can there be too much variety? Has anyone tried freezing avocado? If so, how did that go?

   And what about grains? I thought maybe I would wait until she is a year old to introduce any grains/wheat/cereals because of the amount of celiac people in my family. My brother, my grandma, my uncle, my cousin. And I thought maybe instead of using the Gerber rice cereal, (I haven't done any yet) I would make my own "porridge" from the Super Baby Food book. But in that book she makes it sound like it is a very integral part of the baby's diet NOW, and I shouldn't wait. It would also help with constipation, as it has a lot of fiber, so maybe that's what she needs now. I know, I know, talk to your pediatrician. But the lazy part of me is throwing it out here on the blog first. :) I will still ask our doctor, but I'm just curious to hear from other moms on tried-and-true methods and tricks they've tried and liked or disliked. So anyway, that's what's going on in our life these days! And I'd love to hear from you all.

   In other news, if you have ever found yourself pregnant (I'm not, just addressing something that's been on my mind lately) and wishing for a certain gender and feeling horribly guilty for it, check out this post.

Honestly, I think it is a beautiful, honest post, and is SPOT ON. I was just recently chatting with a friend who is expecting right now, and, to be perfectly honest, was hoping for "the other gender". I think this post does such a great job at addressing a fact that affects most moms-to-be. Maybe you were the rare specimen that honestly didn't care what you had, and if so, good for you. But for the rest of us, it is nearly impossible not to imagine your baby as either a boy or a girl. I tried to do it. I tried to think of "my baby" as either one. But you can't. It's a BOY or a GIRL, and those two are so radically different, how can you NOT think of it as a certain one? And along the course of your pregnancy, the one you maybe just a teensy bit, even subconsciously want, is going to be the one you think of it as, and so you find yourself thinking of your baby as a he or a she and feeling guilty for it. And I'm here to say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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I thought throughout my whole pregnancy that Joce was a boy. I had several dreams it was a boy, and almost everyone told me they just "thought I was going to have a boy." Well except for a woman on an elevator in the hospital that took one look at me and prophetically announced "You're having a girl", and promptly walked out. I'll admit, at the time I had such a strong feeling I was having a boy, I thought it was a little presumptuous how sure she sounded, and probably even chuckled to myself about the whole thing.

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I'm not sure why I thought "boy" so much, except for the fact that I wanted one. I never had an older brother and always thought that would have been so neat, so I wanted that for my children. Also, I just thought boys would be so much easier! Throw on a t-shirt and jeans and you're ready to go. None of those frilly, hard-to-keep-clean dresses and skirts, ribbons and bows and little pairs of shoes. And there's just something easy to understand about a boy. You give him a pile of dirt and a shovel and he's happy for hours. And then the teenage years come and you give him a basketball or a car and he's happy for hours. With girls, you have hair and nails and boys and emotions and feelings and friends and drama and what's-my-meaning-in-life and where-am-I-going and what-am-I-doing and all those deep issues that seem like impossible mountains to climb when you're a teenage girl.

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Let's just face it, I was afraid.

Afraid of knowing how to relate to a girl. Afraid of wanting too much to be a friend, that I wouldn't know how to be a mom. Afraid that she would fall for a boy I could hardly stand to be around, much less stand the thought of being with my little girl. Afraid she would break my heart. Afraid she would be a fragile, sensitive, emotional little being that my brave, adventurous, sometimes impulsive self wouldn't know how to relate with. Or afraid that she would be a brave, adventurous, impulsive, stubborn tom-boy that would be so much like her mother there would be lots of conflict! Besides, boys are always having so much more fun. I'm the type that always wanted to be out on the field/court playing football or basketball rather than twittering on the side with a bunch of giggling girls. There were a lot of fears connected to having a girl. So I wanted a boy. And I think that is a very human, very basic, very natural thing to do.

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So what I would like to say to any expectant mamas out there who are wanting something different than what they're getting and feeling wretched for it.....relax. It's a natural tendency, and once that little munchkin is born, trust me, you have no idea the storehouses of love and emotion that will overflow for you. At least, that was my experience.

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I can never in a million years imagine having anything, or anyone else. It's funny how I had all those fears and trepidations about a girl, and now it's just the most natural thing in the universe to dress her up in frilly little dresses, play with her hair, take oodles of pictures of her and just feel already as if we're the best of friends. I dream about tea parties and doll houses. I dream of baking cookies and shopping together and chattering about life over cookie dough ice cream. These are my dreams now, not dirt and frogs and building forts. Although if she wants to do those things, I'm game! :) She is the light of my life, and I love every feminine, gentle, girly way about her, from her hair just like mine, down to her toes, just like mine. I am loving being a mama to a little girl.

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   But like that post revealed, for a woman who was afraid of having a boy and wanting a girl, her little Toby is the best thing that could have ever happened to her. So to my dear friend, don't worry! It's going to all work out. You're going to just lovelovelove your little one, and it's all turning out just the way God wants it to. And for those out there that are sad you're not having/don't have a girl because they're so much more fun to dress, check out this post.

    I think anyone who thinks boys are no fun to dress has either not been looking around, or just isn't being creative! There are loads of cute boy things out there! Hop to it!

   Well, I've said my piece. It's time I go take my morning nap now. We had a very late night last night, and I'll have to post about that another day.