Things have just been all kinds of wonky lately.

   I have felt zero-to-negative-20 desire to blog lately.  It's the weirdest thing too.  I've certainly had dry spells in the past, but there was still always at least some subconscious, lingering interest to continue.  Like deep down, I knew that I could never stay away for long and so a dry spell didn't really matter.  I always knew it was temporary.  But this time it feels different.  Deeper.

   As if whatever part of me that enjoyed it is either dying or falling asleep, and I'm not sure how to reverse that, or even if I want to.  Some of this may be a result from a meltdown I had recently.  And when I say meltdown, I don't use that term lightly.  It wasn't pretty.  Everything felt like it was crashing in on me and swallowing me up, and I just didn't have anything left inside to fight it.

You know that saying floating all over Pinterest?  This one:

   Well, let's just say it couldn't be truer.  And sometimes people who seem the most confidant feel anything but that.  I have felt the heat of battle and sting of defeat in my life lately, and at times it leaves me feeling like all is lost.  Of course I won't go into detail, and I'm sorry I always hate it when other people do that, but that's just the way it is going to be.

   After all of that is when I started feeling like I have to take control of something.  ANYTHING.  Even if it was some small, seemingly insignificant thing, I had to feel like I could set my mind to something and do it.  So I started working out.  I haven't worked out consistently for like, my entire life.  Seriously.  I have worked out for stretches of time, but never consistently.  But much like the dry spell from blogging feeling different, this too, feels different.  It feels more real.  Like maybe, just maybe it could be here to stay.  And I am so glad.

   So the two things I am trying to conquer in my life are working out each morning, and spending some time in the Word every day.  It hasn't been easy (good things never are) but I think I am getting there.  Maybe by proclaiming it publicly it will help motivate me to keep myself accountable.  Anyways, with that small, newfound courage within myself, I am timidly putting fingers to keys once more.

   Maybe I just get a little blog-shy when things are going really well for my blog, because that is how I always used to be.  A total and complete commitment-phobe.  As long as things were unfamiliar and new they were non-threatening.  But as soon as something became routine, and repetitive and, well....requiring some amount of commitment, I started searching frantically for the emergency exit.

   So maybe there's hope for my blog.  Because even if I still experience this sort of volatile, dollar-coaster relationship with it, it's comforting to know that I CAN take small steps in small areas for more control in my life.  And when I say small steps I mean SMALL steps.

I just don't want my life to feel like it's just happening to me.  I want to happen to IT.

   So with that, I really don't know/have anything else to say.  So I'll leave you with a few Instagrams of our life lately.  Because....well...because then I won't have to figure out a way to make signing off less awkward.


   Oh and one last one because AGES ago I said "Stay tuned for more spring ways to style your tall boots!" and of course that's when my blogging took a record-breaking nose dive and so now of course I feel like I lied.  Sigh.  So here's one more spring outfit idea for those still-chilly, kinda-sunny spring days.