But unfortunately, freezing temperatures don't allow us to frolic in the fluffy white stuff forever. So of course the extra time spent cooped up indoors always results in a healthy dose of cabin fever, and a grumpy girl or two.
Lately it seems we have been battling extra hard with this whole "my-sister-is-actually-my-friend" concept. I know they love each other, truly they do. But sometimes when you're 3 years old and coming into your own and feeling the need to define your status and place in this world…..well, little sis can just get in the way. And vice versa, when Charlotte starts getting old enough to defend herself a little bit, well, big Sis finds out the hard way that whatever it is she is doing is not exactly petting the cat in the right direction, if you know what I mean.
So first and foremost, I want to ask all of you moms out there……how do you promote friendship among your children? How do you encourage closeness? It feels so hard when it seems sometimes I am just disciplining wrong actions, which just in turn fosters hostility toward the other one for "getting them in trouble". Tips? Advice? Wisdom? Share please!!
Don't get me wrong, it's not always a battle. They have these heart-warming moments of sharing and cuddling and giggling and I'm instantly transported into the future and I can see it all so clearly…..There they are, sprawled across their beds with hair spilling wild and beautiful around their shoulders, chatting animatedly about life. Charlotte shares about an issue that has been frustrating her lately and Jocelyn shares some wisdom she's learned from her extra 18 months of life….they laugh together and just as I'm grabbing the cookie dough ice cream and opening the door to join them, I'm wrenched from my reverie by the cries and shrieks of my little ones…..oh dear, what is it this time?
I reluctantly break from my dreamland and sulk off to investigate, knowing I won't be happy with what I find. I just want them to WANT to be friends, you know? I don't want them to just endure each other because they have to…because they eat, sleep, play, live and breathe together. I want them to want to be together. To choose that togetherness.
To be loyal to one another.
To stick up for each other, defend one another.
To the other above all other friends.
To truly, deeply, love each other.
Every mama wants her children to be best friends. Long before Charlotte was born, and before I even knew I was pregnant, I hoped that Jocelyn would one day know the privilege of having a brother or sister, and that they would quickly become kindred spirits.
Anne and Diana.
Tom and Huck.
Lucy and Carol.
Sherlock and Watson.
Calvin and Hobbes.
Charlotte and Wilbur.
I want them to know the value and the priceless quality of having someone in their life that has been there for all of it. That one person that will always know you a little bit better than anyone else ever could. That one person that will always interpret the language you speak in. Understand the lenses you see through. Identify with the filters you feel through. That person knows, because they have been through so many of the same life experiences, situations and environments as you. Plus they have the same crazy mom to deal with! Ha.
My dear-daughters-in-the-future, here is my word for you.
Never take for granted what you have. It was a gift, given to you. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience the blessing of a sister, or even a sibling, for all of their life.
Never underestimate the power of a sister's love.
Friends may come and go, and often in friendships there will be competition, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. But don't ever let that creep into the bond you have with your sister. They will be a part of your life, for all of your life, and the blessings are too deep, too vast and too rich to risk losing over some small, trifling, passing thing.
Don't compare.
You're right, she's not like you. She is different from you, as you are both perfectly unique creatures. I wouldn't want it any other way! Each of you, by being different, reflects a different beautiful aspect of the Father, just as He intended it! So stop trying to be like the other one. Or for that matter, stop trying to be different from the other one! Just be yourself. Just be who God intended for you to be. I would hate for the world to miss out on any part of the genuine YOU.
And last of all, just love her.
Love her every moment of every day, because we are given such a short, short time on this world, and I don't want to see you miss even one moment of the gift of friendship that you could find in your sister. I love you both so much, in each and every one of your unique ways, and I love how you love each other.
Always yours,
-mama.
