The Green Monster.

  Contrary to what the title might lead you to believe, I am not talking about the Hulk.  Or the Grinch, or the Jolly Green Giant that advertises canned corn.  Or the Sinclair dinosaur, the funny one-eyed guy from Monster's Inc., or the Loch Ness Monster.  Man, there really are a lot of green ones, aren't there?  Assuming that the LNM is green, but that's what I've always pictured it as....moving on.

   I am talking about jealousy.  Someone please tell me that I'm not the only person that struggles with this, even if you're just humoring me.  I think even a lie would comfort me a little at this point. "You, jealous?!! But why?! You have such a perfect life!!"  Why thank-you, and I do have a perfect wonderful life.  But that's not really the point.  Newsflash, but Satan doesn't really take into consideration how beautiful your life is before deciding what to tempt you with.  It's not like he takes one look at your life and goes, "Shucks.  She's got an amazing husband, beautiful daughter and lovely home.  I got nothin'."  He's a little smarter than we give him credit for, people.  He can strike anyone, anytime, and anywhere, and it doesn't really matter if you're living in a penthouse or on a park bench, jealousy can happen even to you.

   So here are just a few things that rouse up that ugly, green pest these days.

1. Blog envy.  I have long touted the opinion that cool, talented, amazing blogs are not the CAUSE OF JEALOUSY.  I cannot stress this enough.  Swearing off reading blogs will not cure your jealousy, because there will always be something in life (your great aunt's cooking, so-and-so's home/car/pool, etc) to peak your jealousy.  No, my friends, there are no magic words to say to make it disappear.  It is something we have to each individually conquer in our own lives.  THAT BEING SAID, even though I am still a fierce proponent of the opinion that blogs don't MAKE us jealous, I will admit to slipping up occasionally and feeling jealous after reading one.  Like this one, who blogs about her baby yawning, and gets 121 comments.  I'm not kidding.  In fact, she doesn't have to write anything at all.  She puts up no more than a single photo and the comments come rolling in by the hundreds.  What is up with that?  And while we're talking about her, (sorry, not trying to target her specifically, she's just a perfect example of this next one) we'll roll right on into #2.
2. Those women that materialize into their former selves mere moments after giving birth.  This is what she looks like 5 weeks post-baby.

   Holy macaroni, she's smokin'!  And it seemed so effortless.  But I'm sure she wouldn't say that.  Or maybe she would....

3. Those super-decorators. You know who I'm talking about.  The ones that, approximately 7.5 hours after the Thanksgiving turkey has been consumed and is still digesting, they have their tree up, garlands gracing the halls, festive wreath and stockings hung, and a dazzling array of Christmas lights that flash in sync to the Little Drummer Boy.

4.  Great gift-givers.  This time of year (and throughout the year around birthdays) I am constantly reminded that gift-giving is not my gift. Pun intended.  I have to work hard at finding the "right thing" for someone, when some people could walk blindfolded into a Dollar General and come out with something that is just perfect.

5. People who love to cook and clean.  I like it, don't get me wrong.  I enjoy a clean house and I feel so accomplished when I make a great meal, but I don't love it.  I'm just not there yet.  I want to be.  I hope to be one day.  But it just doesn't come to me naturally, like those that can't keep their fingers out of the cupboards baking goodies or off of the shelves dusting from the sheer delight of it.

  I could go on, but I'm sure some people think it's nigh-on to sinful to admit that you're jealous.  O.k. so I will agree, the Bible tells us not to covet, but it doesn't say that when you're feeling covetous you can't confess it.  So there it is, I am being honest, open and real, and making myself quite vulnerable, in the hopes that A. I am not completely alone, and B. I can/will change.  

   I love my life.  I have been blessed so many, many times with so many incredible things.  I never, ever want to take any of that for granted.  These are just some areas in which I am tempted to feel a little...well...jealous.  The "J" word is scary.  No one wants to use it because it will somehow make them feel like less of a person, when reality is, we all feel it, but we just want to appear as that one person who doesn't.  Well, I guess tonight is a night where I'm not pretending.

Enjoy it while it lasts. :-p