Computer froze up and I just lost what I had typed out, and it would take too long to re-write, so I will briefly summarize. 

Wednesday had me feeling completely defeated.

Thursday, was a complete turn-around.  Thank-you Jesus. 

 Today, I woke up at 8:22ish, and Jocelyn didn't wake up for another hour (which NEVER happens!) and so I got an hour of God time without even having to get up early.  I didn't know if I should feel deliriously grateful or guilty.  Nevertheless, it was just what I needed, and I thought I'd share just a bit with you.

   Now, before I begin, some of you may shy away from the word "stronghold".  It may seem too dramatic, and is something you don't want to think about or deal with because you're pretty confidant that there isn't any of that in your life, or if there is, you're not sure what to do about it anyway.  Well, I'll just be honest and say that there is one (probably more, but one specifically) that I deal with often.  I'm not going to go into what it is, but it is there. 

   Thankfully, God has blessed me with wonderful friends and women in my life who speak life to me, and pray for me, and pass books on to me that happen to be just what I need at just the right time.  What would I do without those people in my life?
 source



   Anyway, the following are notes I either copied or paraphrased from Beth Moore's book, Breaking Free.  Thought I might pass them along, since they spoke life to me.

   Signs of a stronghold:

•  It consumes our emotional + mental energy.
•  It strangles abundant life.
•  It causes our callings to remain unfulfilled and our believing lives to be rendered ineffective.
•  It "pretends" to be bigger + more powerful than God.

       The primary battlefield is the mind.  Why?  Because the most effective way to influence behavior is to influence thinking.  And our only weapons are the Word of God, and praying in the Spirit.  And as long as our minds rehearse the strength of our stronghold more than the strength of our God, we will be impotent.  The most monumental leap toward freedom is a leap to our knees.

   She then goes on to list Scriptures (most of the book is excerpts of Scripture, which is one of the things I love most about it) that you can pray to combat your mind dwelling on a stronghold. It's just what I've been looking for. Scriptures listed out in one place to pray and to focus on, rather than the turmoil in my mind.  Fear, doubt, jealousy....whatever it may be.  I want to replace it with the Word.
  
   I am so far from where I want to be.  Sometimes I look at Jocelyn, stumbling along behind her "walking toy" her wobbly legs taking shaking little steps, and I feel pitifully the same.  As if somehow, in spite of the fact that I have been a Christian for approximately 20 years, I'm still a little child.  But I'm tired of focusing on who I'm not, and where I'm not.  That's where the devil wants me dwelling.  I am on a journey, and if tomorrow is leap in the right direction, great!  But if it's just a microscopic stutter step, than that's great too.

 Because at least I'm moving, and not standing still.