Everything looks perfect from far away.

4:17 PM

I have been thinking. 


  This post contributed to my thoughts, but I'd already been thinking along these lines.  I had a conversation with a friend just yesterday about this very thing, actually.

   She was saying how she can hardly even read (much less enjoy) some blogs because they always seem like everything is always so perfect all of the time.  Whether it's their job, children, marriage, counter tops or hair...everything is just always JUST SO.  Perfect.  And it makes it so hard to relate to, or even enjoy partaking in as a spectator.  She said my blog isn't like that.  And that she actually enjoys reading my blog because it is REAL.  And I guess that's a compliment?? Or maybe it just means I'm a bit of a mess and so that keeps me relatable. (Haha, just kidding dear friend.)

    I was so relieved to hear that, because relatable, genuine and REAL are exactly what I want my blog to be.  I strive to keep it that way.  But it's not always easy. The internet makes it ridiculously easy for us to put on the appearance of a perfect life.  And who wouldn't want to?  We all get enough criticism and ridicule in the real world to last a lifetime, therefore our "online world" is so tempting to keep "perfect". To somehow make it so that we can stay above reproach.  So that everyone will like us and never have anything negative to say about us.

  And I hope she's right.  I sincerely hope this place isn't a place that some come, and then leave frustrated with thinking that I try to be perfect or something.  Because honestly honey, I couldn't be farther from perfect.  You have no idea the battles I face.  You don't see the times I feel as if my very soul is becoming a dried out shell of what it once was.  Or the moments when it feels like the life is draining right out of me.  YES I am blessed.  Very blessed indeed.  YES I am a daughter of the King.  But I am still a human.  And this human is NOT perfect.  This human has many moments of failure and defeat.

 
  Point is, I get it.  I understand how blogs can seem like "Oh look at us, we're happy and in love and life is great" all of the time.  I know this because I have read other blogs and have thought those exact thoughts.  And so it's not like bloggers are clueless.  We know the potential to look "perfect" in our online world, whether or not we are in real life, and don't get me wrong, it's a real temptation.  It's as real a temptation as any other chance to put our best foot forward.....putting on makeup before going out.  Shoving stuff under the bed before a friend stops over.  Laying the icing on double thick because the cake didn't turn out.  Editing our family photos until they look....just right. 

   But something you should know is that sometimes bloggers give in to this temptation, but sometimes they don't.  Sometimes what may seem as an attempt at perfection is just an attempt to "look on the bright side" and post the pictures of the children playing sweetly together and not pictures of the hair-pulling that happened right afterward.  It's not because we are trying to seem perfect, it's just because people usually document happy things.  We dress up and comb our hair and put on smiles before walking into church.  We would never expect people to think that we're always that put together.  Of course not! It goes without saying that there is crazy bed-head hair, morning breath, holes in stockings and food stains on sweaters on plenty of other mornings.  But we make an effort at times to pull it together and make ourselves presentable.

   In the same way, if a blogger posts pictures of a happy time or beautiful moments, they are in no means trying to fool you into believing that their life is full of sparkly, glittery, beautiful moments.  They wouldn't even begin to believe it themselves!  They are merely just trying to capture a happy moment to remember it as it was, be thankful, and share it with others. 

   More often than not, they are fighting their own demons, and they NEED to document a few beautiful moments to remind themselves that they DO indeed have a blessed life.  By capturing a bit of beauty on the pages they are able to, for just a moment, feel like they are getting to live out their very own fairytale.  And deep down, don't we all want to be able to do that?

   I enjoy reading blogs, and so from a reader's perspective, I get it.  Sometimes it seems like everything is just oh-so-perfect and slightly nauseating and makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out a little bit.

  However, from a blogger's perspective, I would also say that often, that couldn't be further from our minds.  Maybe sometimes, occasionally, it looks like things are 'perfect'.  Like we have it all together.  Like we're living a blessed life.  But sometimes, like I said, it might be just serving as a much-needed reminder to ourselves to in a moment of darkness.  A time of pain.  A period of searching.  A season when we feel a little lost, and we just want to reflect back on our lives, and look at it on the page and go, "Silly me, I AM blessed.  I love this life I lead." 

  Just some thoughts I've had lately.  And as always, I would love to hear feedback from you!

 Happy Sunday.

  

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10 comments

  1. ohhh you said it perfectly!! I don't even know you,but I feel like I do,because I love your blog so much! This is one of my biggest fears about my blog,no joke!! But at the same time who feels like putting snot running pictures on of your little girl. And then the fear of if I'm real honest,I feel like a whiner! Oh but I love blogging. Its finding the perfect balance. But I honestly think you are a great balance!! Love your honesty!

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    1. Thanks so much for reading! And I so agree about finding balance…wanting to be "real" but not wanting to be Pollyanna all of the time OR a little black rain cloud! Someday maybe we'll get it all figured out.:)

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  2. SPOT ON. Anyone who blogs knows this tug-of-war ~ the wanting to be real, the not wanting to seem like perfection... And it seems the last two years or so I've come across so MANY blogs who so badly want to be real that they share all the dirty laundry with the entire world, and that is just so uninspiring to me. I think bloggers all write differently, and not even because they intend to but because of their God-given uniqueness - some to document days, some to inspire, some to challenge, some to write devotionals, on and on and on. And I think each blogger has to sort of learn for herself what she is comfortable sharing with the world, and even how much her family/husband is comfortable with her talking about. Some husbands are more private and don't want their lives talked about. Other husbands couldn't care at all. And just the same, each blogger has to also come to terms with not everyone "getting" their blog. Some people just connect with certain bloggers, others don't at all, and it's not even what they're doing right or wrong, it's just personality. Anyway, could write pages!! I love what you wrote because it's all stuff I've thought about, and wrestlings & ponderings. Oh, the big world of blogging. :) I would love to talk about this stuff with you in real! :)

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    1. I'm so glad you understand! And yes I would love to discuss it in real life as well. Someday we shall have the privilege!!

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    2. completely agree, clarita! that part about being ok if everyone doesn't "get" your blog... huge key! if we're not ok w it the joy is sucked immediately. blogging has to be first and foremost about us. which sounds way selfish. but you know what i mean. blogging for us, what God is doing etc vs. others approval/applause.

      would love to talk to you BOTH in real life about it all~ hey, let's meet up in chicago or something!! ;))

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  3. I'm only a reader not a blogger, but I've contemplated starting one. Partly to (yes, I admit it) look good for the world i.e. make me feel better about myself, but partly to, as you say, capture happy, beautiful moments. I'm not sure I could handle the temptation. But one thing that really does bother me, as a reader, is when writers talk with regret about mistakes they made or self expectations they have not reached, when that particular "mistake" is higher than my standard practice. Like this from mommy blogger with 8 children "I guess I'm just so busy that sometimes my poor children don't get fresh baked biscuits for breakfast and will just have to eat cereal. " I'm thinking, "Well, my children regularly eat cereal and only rarely get better, and I have only 2 children!" (Huff, slam the laptop lid) Her worst day is better than my best day. Byran had a good term for this but I can't remember it. I guess a good verse for this situation is "Comparing ourselves among ourselves is not wise." Yes....

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  4. Love this post, reminds me of a favorite quote.

    "A poet is an unhappy being whose heart is torn by secret sufferings, but whose lips are so strangely formed that when the sighs and the cries escape them, they sound like beautiful music."

    [not calling you an unhappy being!]

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    1. I love this so much. I may have to put this on my wall somewhere. Thanks for sharing, whoever you are!! :)

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  5. Oooo, I really like this post! I get it--all of it. Feeling that sufficating perfection sometimes and needing to walk away from a paticular blog for a time. Then also, as a blogger it is true that sometimes focusing on the good in our lives helps us to be more grateful for what is happy. As a SAHM life can become very monotonous and all the details and questions from little ones and the endless cycles can get wearing. Blogging has really helped me step back and appreciate the positive and see it all from a bigger picture. I haven't been blogging much in the last couple years, and I really miss what it did for me and having those good times on the record. I also love your blog and think you are very relatable.

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