Popping in again.

3:54 PM

Things have just been all kinds of wonky lately.

   I have felt zero-to-negative-20 desire to blog lately.  It's the weirdest thing too.  I've certainly had dry spells in the past, but there was still always at least some subconscious, lingering interest to continue.  Like deep down, I knew that I could never stay away for long and so a dry spell didn't really matter.  I always knew it was temporary.  But this time it feels different.  Deeper.

   As if whatever part of me that enjoyed it is either dying or falling asleep, and I'm not sure how to reverse that, or even if I want to.  Some of this may be a result from a meltdown I had recently.  And when I say meltdown, I don't use that term lightly.  It wasn't pretty.  Everything felt like it was crashing in on me and swallowing me up, and I just didn't have anything left inside to fight it.

You know that saying floating all over Pinterest?  This one:

   Well, let's just say it couldn't be truer.  And sometimes people who seem the most confidant feel anything but that.  I have felt the heat of battle and sting of defeat in my life lately, and at times it leaves me feeling like all is lost.  Of course I won't go into detail, and I'm sorry I always hate it when other people do that, but that's just the way it is going to be.

   After all of that is when I started feeling like I have to take control of something.  ANYTHING.  Even if it was some small, seemingly insignificant thing, I had to feel like I could set my mind to something and do it.  So I started working out.  I haven't worked out consistently for like, my entire life.  Seriously.  I have worked out for stretches of time, but never consistently.  But much like the dry spell from blogging feeling different, this too, feels different.  It feels more real.  Like maybe, just maybe it could be here to stay.  And I am so glad.

   So the two things I am trying to conquer in my life are working out each morning, and spending some time in the Word every day.  It hasn't been easy (good things never are) but I think I am getting there.  Maybe by proclaiming it publicly it will help motivate me to keep myself accountable.  Anyways, with that small, newfound courage within myself, I am timidly putting fingers to keys once more.

   Maybe I just get a little blog-shy when things are going really well for my blog, because that is how I always used to be.  A total and complete commitment-phobe.  As long as things were unfamiliar and new they were non-threatening.  But as soon as something became routine, and repetitive and, well....requiring some amount of commitment, I started searching frantically for the emergency exit.

   So maybe there's hope for my blog.  Because even if I still experience this sort of volatile, dollar-coaster relationship with it, it's comforting to know that I CAN take small steps in small areas for more control in my life.  And when I say small steps I mean SMALL steps.

I just don't want my life to feel like it's just happening to me.  I want to happen to IT.

   So with that, I really don't know/have anything else to say.  So I'll leave you with a few Instagrams of our life lately.  Because....well...because then I won't have to figure out a way to make signing off less awkward.

   Oh and one last one because AGES ago I said "Stay tuned for more spring ways to style your tall boots!" and of course that's when my blogging took a record-breaking nose dive and so now of course I feel like I lied.  Sigh.  So here's one more spring outfit idea for those still-chilly, kinda-sunny spring days.

   Enough about me though.  How are you?  Has your spring been insane?  Relaxing?  Somewhere in between? I'd love to hear about it.

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  1. Hey there Shelley!
    Yay! Working out and being in the Word- both so satisfying and rewarding, right? And in different ways.:) So go you! I find that I don't regret time spent in either of those activities.
    And I love the outfit! You are SO adorable! Love how you still care about style and taking care of your body while being a wife and mamma. It's inspiring.:) Keep up the good work. And I do love your blog.:) You are a fabulous writer, in case you didn't know.

  2. I just wanted to try and encourage you in saying that it is ok to have those moments and that they will pass. I've been learning that lately as I struggle with it. It is a reminder of our humanness and need for someone greater. Does that make it easier? No it sure doesn't, not in the moment, but God can use it and I believe he will. This is something I have had to work through and am still trying to figure out. God gave us emotion and He cares about everything. It is ok to embraces how you are feeling without kicking yourself for it at the same time. It shall pass. Hopefully your adventures this month will rejuvenate you and make you feel inspired. Love and prayers!

  3. I do so hope your blogging mojo returns when the time is right. You have inspiration + good things to offer, and I for one always love reading your posts! But that said, there are seasons, and those seasons change and new life is happening and other things are pushed away for a time.

    Cheers + love!


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