Spring has sprung.

9:08 AM

Blogging is a funny thing.

   A choosing of sorts, to be vulnerable.  To place oneself out in the open, away from the shelter and protection of hiding, exposed and open, to simply say "This is me."  This is it, this is what makes me, me.

A treacherous, delicate thing, really.

   It seems strange that I (or anyone else for that matter) would ever want to do it.  But then when I'm not writing on this blog, in this space online that I call my own, I still write inside.  Inside my head, inside my heart, inside my deepest, darkest places.....I write, spilling the thoughts and letters and words and phrases and they start to pile up and get all jumbled together until I can't seem to sort them out anymore.  So in that sense, writing some of them out on here helps, somehow.

I think we all just don't want to be misunderstood.
   Isn't that one of the deepest cries of humanity?  Would someone just please understand me?  Know me truly and deeply and without pretense or pretending?  And so my hope is that in this small space, I would not come across as pessimistic or ungrateful or bitter or anything else I may seem at times.  But that I would just come across as me.  Because while I may feel one or all of those things at times, that's not WHO I am.  Or at least, it's not who I want to be.

  However, I firmly hold to the opinion that it is ok to feel those things.  It has to be.  If it's not ok to feel some of the things that I feel, than I don't want to be "ok".  Yet at the same time, I don't want to diminish the glory.  You know?  Somehow take away from what God has done and is doing in our lives.  I want to be thankful.  Somehow Ann Voskamp can be whimsical and melancholy and borderline depressing and yet all the while shining a beautiful reflection of her Creator.  Well I guess I haven't figured out that fragile balance yet.  Sometimes the words just come out of me hot and heavy and ugly and trust me, you ain't seen the HALF of it on this blog.  I wouldn't be that careless.

   I guess I'm a little bit jealous of people like A.V.  who have somehow discovered the secret to spilling their soul-words without making everyone hide their children and head for the basement.  How do they do that?  Be open and real and honest and raw without being a little bit terrifying?  Would someone just tell me how that is done?

   I digress.  And I've never been completely sure what it means to "digress" but it seems the only appropriate way to end a tirade, so..................

  Randy's brother got married a couple weeks ago and in a few more weeks it will be his sister's turn.  Weddings with little ones are always an adventure but weddings with little ones when one of you is involved?  Even more adventurous.  It turned out well for the most part, with the exception of Jocelyn's failure to participate as a flower girl.  She didn't want to take any pictures and never made it down the aisle, but at least she got to wear a pretty dress, right?  

   It was a beautiful wedding.  Idyllic outdoor setting, gorgeous weather, lovely decorations and breathtaking music. Randy's brother Byran and his wife Amy have voices like angels and sang a number of songs in the wedding, one of which was 'The Prayer" and was running through my head for days afterwards.  Josh Groban and Celine Dion got NOTHIN' on them.  The couple are childhood sweethearts and were married in her grandparent's backyard, so there was so much history there and everything seemed to have such a personal touch.  

   Sorry for so few pictures, I only snapped a few with my phone because most of the time I was chasing after one of these two little ladies.  But you can check out Baker Photography's website for a whole lot more.  Brandon and Jen did a great job and their pictures look great! 

  In other news, in spite of our busy, busy spring, we squeezed in planting a garden and I am SO excited for those little sprouts to make their way to the light. 

  We've also been spending a lot of time with family, as Byran's are out here for the weddings.  Yesterday Amy, Jessi and I picked strawberries and spent the afternoon together cutting them up for the freezer.  Of course I had to snap one of all the Smucker grandchildren in one neat little row.  (L to R-- Jocelyn, Jada, Charlotte, Nicolas, Madison and Xavier. And there will soon be another girl to add to the bunch!  Amy's expecting their 3rd child and first daughter in July) 

That's all for now.  It's almost the weekend, folks! 

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  1. Beautiful wedding photos! Looks like so much excitement, seeing all that family nd celebrating love. My brother gets married in August and I cannot wait.
    About blogging; don't compare yourself to AV or anyone else. You are you, and your authentic voice needs to never ever be ashamed! Blog the way YOU want to blog! don't try to please anyone else, it's truly a gift for your family in the years to come, all the memories and thoughts you are recording!

  2. Your description of Ann Voskamp made me lol! I don't think you're sending anybody running for their basements!


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