Fill my cup, Lord.

10:24 AM

   Janene left for Iowa on Tuesday and so of course one last Dutch Bros was in order.  When mine came I was so pleased to see it so appropriately labeled, "Hello Bestie".  Although I suppose it should have said Goodbye.  I am so sad to see visitors go, but SO VERY thankful each and every time they come.  

   For the record, to anyone who may care or be interested, if you ever want an excuse to see the magnificent West coast, you could have a guest room to stay in and a breakfast to eat and two little girls to fall in love with and be driven crazy by!  We'd love to have you.

   Whenever I see someone from back home a little piece of life is breathed back into me.  I feel understood and accepted and like I belong again, and for a little while, everything is right with the world.  I feel a fresh wind of energy to take on the new day, and vision for what that day and the following days might hold.  And so I've said it before but I'll say it again.....I LOVE VISITORS.

 Continuing on the topic of coffee, there has been much of that consumed in my life lately.  Some mornings just feel like they wouldn't get started without it.  I posted this photo to Instagram recently with the caption...

   "Quiet time is maybe the hardest it's ever been at this stage of my life. I know I should get up before the girls but about the chink in my armor right there. I want to throw in the towel this morning but I'm determined to press on. Or rather, desperate. Desperate to hear from Him, needing to hear truth. Pitifully grasping for reassurance. Clawing at the Word, feeling the brokenness of my humanity and longing to hear Someone say that I am holy, righteous and redeemed. Please, Jesus, be near."

   It was one of those mornings.  The kind that follows an evening of particular self-doubt and insecurity, and I needed, craved and was just a bit desperate for some reassurance from the Word.  But of course my girls were right there, pulling at me and wanting to read (and write in) my Bible too, and singing and running and asking and distracting and......sometimes it seems they are somehow on a mission to prevent any quiet time whatsoever from happening.

   I felt like I was not quite yet drowning, but just barely keeping my head above water. And then (thanks to Pinterest) I found a list of 10 verses for when you're feeling "not good enough".

   Well, I hastened to check them out as that basically describes how I've felt for all of 2014 so far.  Ironic, as my word for this year is "surrender".  Am I holding back?  Am I not truly surrendering my trust and my heart and my identity?  Well something's not quite right because I certainly have felt "not good enough" for far too long.  And perhaps if some of you have found yourself facing a similar battle, you can find comfort in these words as well.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Rom. 8:1
“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8
“for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” I Cor. 6:20
“To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.” Eph. 1:6
“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” Rom. 8:16&17
“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Phil 1:6
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,…and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,” Eph. 2:4&6
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” I Peter 2:9
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Eph. 2:10

“”I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Is. 43:25
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  1. a whole lot of Jesus...
    and, yay for friends coming to visit and filling your tank back up.


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