FRIENDS.

   This is going to be quick because today is Grandma Day and we all know time is precious but on G-Day, time is P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S.

   But I simply could NOT let this day go by without sharing what happened this morning.  It was one of those total, absolute, soul-filling God moments, and I feel like if I give testimony to it, then somehow, in some small way, that drives the stake deeper in the ground and gives roots to what took place, making it harder for the Enemy to steal away.

   The day started like any other ordinary, blessed, Grandma day.  I dropped the kids off at my mother-in-law's, and grabbed an iced coffee on my way home.  First up on my agenda was exercise and I use this video, in case anyone is interested.  It is a combination of pilates and ballet, which fulfills all of my deep-seated longings to have taken ballet classes as a child.  Or at least it comes close to that.  

  Plus it has like, zero jumping around and hard-core cardio which I have come to loathe.  I used to try my hand at P90x and Insanity, and then I slowly but surely discovered that it's not called "Insanity" for nothing.  So now I do barre, and I LOVE IT.

   During my workout, I had the music cranked and a song came on the Pandora station that I wasn't entirely familiar with.  After I was finished, I went back over to the computer and looked it up and watched the music video, and that is when the gray clouds cleared and the sun broke through.

   Perhaps you've already heard this song and maybe even I have too, but today is the first day I really HEARD it, you know??

The first time that the words were meant for no one else in the world but me.
The first time I let myself hear with my heart, instead of only with my head.
The first time I dared to believe that this could really, truly be TRUTH.
The first time it felt as if it was actually God speaking, and not just Mercy Me.

Please do yourselves a huge favor and take a listen:


   I sat in stunned silence as the music played over the speakers.  The lyrics spoke life to my heart and healing to my wounds and suddenly, I found myself kneeling on the ground and crying out to Jesus and then standing with arms raised, dancing with tears streaming down my face.

   Somehow, in spite of my Mennonite upbringing, a little charismatic thread is woven through my soul.  Who would've guessed?

   It was the most incredibly healing experience.  I will be dwelling on these words for a long time to come.  I just want to emblazon them high and tall and wide in my home in the boldest of prints, so that each morning when I rise, my heart turns to truth and not lies.

Everyday I wrestle with the voices

That keep telling me I'm not right

But that's alright.

'Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I'll never be enough.

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world.

Every time I fall

There'll be those who will call me

A mistake

Well that's ok.

Grace says that doesn't matter

'Cause the cross already won the war.

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me

And it makes me love Him more and More.

   I just wanted to thank Jesus over and over and over and over.  It's as if He's always been speaking these things to me but I finally stopped listening to the lies long enough to hear His soft and gentle voice.  I am loved.  I am enough.  I am holy and righteous and redeemed.  And this might not be that monumental to any of you, but it was ground-breaking for me.

   I felt everything slightly shift.  As if this entire time I have been looking through a cloudy glass, and someone finally took the time to clean it, bringing everything into a bright and clear focus.  And I am grateful.

  For my devotions I just wanted to read everything I could about that verse, so I read all of 1 John, and I would highly recommend that you do that when you get the chance.  Then I made myself a real breakfast for once, because the girls weren't pulling at me in all directions....fresh eggs with basil from our garden, tomatoes from the neighbors and homemade sourdough bread with honey.  The bread had gone a little extra sour reminding me that it is time to make some more, and the eggs reminded me that I need to feed the chickens and the basil reminded me that there are other things to pick and weed and water outside.


   Life goes on.  The mundane, every day duties call at us on every side.  But that doesn't mean that God can't meet us in mighty and powerful ways in small, seemingly insignificant moments.

  And I won't pretend to believe that after this God-moment there won't be any more struggle.  That I will not feel the weight of my insecurities pressing in around me or hear the lies slowly whispered in the darkness......we live in a broken world and those times WILL come.

   But what I CAN believe, is that the One that is in me is greater than he who is living in the world.  That, I can know.  That, I can claim.

And I just had to share that with all of you.