Don't tell my daughters that they are "good enough".

4:13 PM

 I've thought it, you've thought it, she's thought it....chances are, we've ALL thought it a time or two.


   Our culture puts a terrifying amount of pressure on women:  Be this, Do That, Look This Way, Try Harder, Be Better, Do More, Work Faster, Look Younger, Don't Age, Have Babies, Don't Have Babies....and on and on it goes until we not only don't know who we are, but we don't even know who we WANT to be anymore.

It's just never enough.

 You can't even just be a "working mom" or a "stay-at-home" mom.  Now, even "stay-at-home" moms need to be working moms, pulling in that six figure income by that multi-level-marketing business, or Etsy shop, or book deal, or blog.  Stay-at-home moms feel the pressure to compete, perform, succeed and compare with other career women, all the while "staying at home" and gardening and homeschooling too, while they're at it.  It's a tall order.

    Meanwhile, working moms feel the heat too.  They feel the need to be as good as they were B.C. (before children) or maybe even BETTER, to prove that they still can do it.  That they still have what it takes.  They feel the pressure to be as present and involved in the details of their children's lives as much as any other mother, when reality is that they aren't home as much as some, and so expectations should naturally change.  But we don't ALLOW our expectations to change.  We just feel the pressure.

And we don't feel good enough.

    So we compare and contrast, and examine and scrutinize, until we dig ourselves into holes of insecurity so deep we can't even begin to climb back out.  But guess what.....INSECURITY IS PRIDE.

   No, that wasn't a typo, you heard me right.  Even feeling like we're not beautiful enough, or talented enough, or successful enough, is pride.  Because we are still focusing on ourselves.  It's not only vanity that can lead to pride....thinking very negatively about ourselves is pride too.

Raising girls, this topic is front and center in my mind.

How can I help them feel good enough?
How can I assure them that they are enough?
How can I teach them to never doubt that?
How I can help them overcome insecurity in their lives?
How can I show them how amazing they are?!?

And I get almost desperate, hoping and praying that they will not embrace culture's lies about them.

But that's when a new thought comes to me....MAYBE THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

   Maybe I SHOULDN'T try to raise them with assurance that they are "good enough".  That they are beautiful enough.  Smart enough.  Strong enough.  Because you know what?  Doing that STILL focuses on ourselves.  It's still training our gaze on ourselves, when we need to be turning our eyes to Jesus.

  And so I am not going to teach my girls that they are "good enough".  Because they aren't.  I'm not.  We never can be.  And even wanting to be?  That's looking to ourselves for the answers.  That's turning to ourselves for strength.  And the Bible tells in 2 Cor. 3:5 that we are not sufficient in ourselves to claim that anything is coming from us....our sufficiency comes from God.  And a few more verses along those lines of thought:

    "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." -John 15:5

 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." -2 Cor 12:9

   "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." --Eph 2:10

 So we are actually supposed to be GLAD for our weaknesses?!?  Yes, because they make us turn to the strength of Christ.  And so when we bemoan that we aren't pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough, that doesn't exactly look like being glad for our weakness, does it?  

   We are his workmanship.  Created in Christ for good works.  So what do we mean when we feel like we're not enough?  We're saying that God isn't good enough.  Because if we aren't good enough, than what He made, created, designed, and breathed life into for a purpose and a plan isn't good enough.  And when we feel like we can't do it? Well, it's kind of true.  Apart of Him, we can't do anything.  And so as long as we're trying to do it on our own strength, we will prove ourselves right.  

   I'm preaching louder to myself than anyone else here, folks.  Trust me.  If you could print out all my issues on paper, they would fill a 3-ring-binder.  O.k., so they'd probably fill several.  My point is I do NOT have it all figured out.  Not even close.  But I am determined to do my best to help my girls turn their eyes from the mirror, upward.  To Him.  

   And hopefully, they will learn to run to Christ as eagerly as they run when their daddy comes home from work.  Forsaking the fields of fairy-tale photo shoots for his giant hugs and baseball practice.  

We aren't enough.

But Thank God, He is.

You Might Also Like


Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images