My heart is heavy.

   Yesterday, a gunman (who doesn't deserved to be named in this blog post) walked into a community college here in Oregon and spewed hate and venom and bullets.  A survivor told her dad (before she was rushed off to surgery) that he was singling out Christians.  Asking people huddled in fear and terror on the floor to stand if they believed in Jesus and when they did, saying "Good.  You will get to meet God in about one minute" before shooting them.

   And as horrific as all of this is, even before I knew it had happened, I was feeling weighted down by the darkness in this world.

   I had been doing so well....not writing or ranting about the things that were casting a shadow over my heart.  Because it just doesn't feel worth it.  Not that I'm afraid of offending people with it.  I'm not.  But because it honestly doesn't feel worth the pain.  I still can't even watch those undercover Planned Parenthood videos.  I feel like my heart would literally explode in anguish.

   But somewhere along the line, something broke.  And it was the most unlikely of straws that broke the camel's back this time.  It wasn't Planned Parenthood.  It wasn't ISIS.  It wasn't even the shooting in Roseburg.  It was a young boy named Corey.  (Click this link to find out more)

   Corey is a gender-confused boy who, (like Matt Walsh pointed out) at an age far younger than we allow children to drive, or drink beer, or get a tattoo, is being encouraged by his mom to "transition" into living life as a girl.  And, for his 14th birthday, his mom gifted him his first package of estrogen patches.

  I can not even begin to describe the turmoil I have felt over this young man.  I don't know if it's because of the abuse and confusion and neglect that he is currently experiencing, or because of the dismal future that lies ahead of him, but I feel sick.  And you know what?  Our culture is applauding it.  Celebrating.  Rejoicing.

   I was on my way home from a Zumba class and quite unexpectedly, I found tears streaming down my cheeks as my heart was completely overwhelmed at the thought of this boy.  Why was no one fighting for him??  Is there really no one in his entire world that cares enough to step up and say, "I can see you're hurting.  I can see you're confused.  I can see you're lost.  I will help you.  I will fight for you.  We will make it through this."

   We are DESTROYING OUR CHILDREN, PEOPLE.  Maybe we're not all having abortions and literally killing them, but we are destroying their identity, their future, their hope.  Who will fight for them?  Who will show them the way??

   And then there's Jazz Jennings, who at the tender age of four, began his battle with gender confusion.  Instead of helping him, his parents gave up on him.  They deserted him in his hour of deepest need.  They dressed him as a girl, and encouraged him to pursue this path of destruction and despair.  You can find more on his story here.   I mourn the loss of those two boys.

I am so sorry Jazz.
I am so sorry Corey.
I am so sorry you didn't have anyone in your life to show you light and truth and hope and love.

   We CAN NOT afford to be naive and ignorant about this issue.  We cannot afford to simply look the other way.  It is real and it is happening all around us, and our children are growing up in a world where the lines are grayer than ever.

   And perhaps the reason it is most deadly and dangerous?  It goes so much farther and deeper than which public bathroom to use.  It is deadly because if Satan can get our children to be confused about who they are, even when they can literally LOOK INTO A MIRROR AND SEE THE TRUTH, than what CAN'T he get them to believe?  If they can't believe an absolute truth about their own physical bodies, how will they ever believe an absolute truth about their eternal reality?  If they can't believe in absolute truth about human genders, how can they ever believe in an absolute truth about a holy God?

   When we wrap our arms around confused children who are lost and desperately searching for hope, and we whisper in their ears...."Your body isn't who you really are".  Then what we are really saying to them is, "There is no hope.  What you are, isn't real.  Nothing is real.  Nothing is true".   And Satan wins.  He wins and wins.

   I feel like sinking into a pit of despair.  But I will cling to the hope that is found in Psalm 11:


The Lord sees.
The Lord knows.
The Lord is in his holy temple.
The Lord is on his heavenly throne.

He's got the whole world, in his hands.