Jocelyn: "Is your hair ready for the party mama?"
Me: "Yeah, I think so."
Jocelyn: "But it's so crazy!"

Randy: "What can we do that shows that we love Jesus?"
Charlotte: ................................*thinks for a really long time*.........................................................
.................."Take a shower".



Things have been quiet around here again.

   And usually that's because life has been super crazy or willfully neglecting my blog, but this time it's been more of a result of contemplation.  (Well, that and a little craziness, let's be honest.)  I've been trying to really closely examine my motives in blogging, my heart in this whole thing, and what God would have for me in it all.

   Lately I've felt this insane amount of pressure....that I need to somehow "make it" in the blogging world or else all of this amounts to NOTHING.  That I need to compete, or at least try and keep up, with all of the other bloggers.  That I need to try and fit a mold...the successful kind, the on-trend kind, the gets-lots-of-traffic kind, or the kind that provides something that people need and are looking for.

   And while I certainly DO what to provide something that people need and are looking for, I'm just not sure if that is necessarily what I've thought it to be in the past.  I want this to be a place of refreshment and encouragement.  I want this to be a place that leaves you feeling uplifted, and bolstered in hope, courage, and strength in your own journey.

   There is far too much Pinterest-perfection and Instagram-idealism out there already, and if I'm just adding to the noise, than I need to stop.  Because that's not what I want for this space.

   If there has ever been anything that has flowed naturally from my heart and onto these pages, it has been sharing my heart.  Whether that's funny or sad or light or dark or a crazy combination of the entire realm of emotions, THAT has been what keeps me coming back here time and time again.  I want to encourage.  I want to share about what is on my mind and heart, and I want to document our lives as we find our way through it all.

  So while you may still see the occasional random post about fashion or links that I like, or maybe even a recipe once in a blue moon, the majority of what will be happening over here at Frame of Mind is just sharing whatever it is that is on my heart lately.

   And it takes the pressure off of myself to just lay out there what you can expect from Frame of Mind, and then just go and BE THAT.  I don't want to try and be anybody else, and while there are a million blogs out there right now who are absolutely nailing it at what they do, that's OK.  It doesn't mean that I need to be a carbon copy.  That's the beauty of diversity.  You can literally find a blog (or ten or more) to cater to every specific niche or desire.  And so I don't need to try and be whatever it is that I view as relevant, or successful, I just need to be me.


   I don't know if Frame of Mind will ever quite fit into a specific category, or if it will ever be as consistent and predictable as I'd like it to be.  But once again, that's o.k.  And what I CAN tell you is that, to the best of my ability, Frame of Mind will be real.  Authentic.  I will strive my hardest to keep things real and genuine over here, and not ever try to be something that I'm not.

    For example....this picture heavy post?  I know that's not popular.  I know it's not the model of a "successful blog post structure" to upload a billion photos and blather on and on about life.  And so I've really tried to steer clear of that in the past and keep things more streamlined and simple.  And sometimes that works out for me, and sometimes it just feels like I'm trying SO hard.


 I used to take oodles of pictures of my girls and realized only recently that I don't have hardly any current ones of them, and I think this is why!  I've been trying to move towards something in my blogging style that doesn't leave room for lots of pictures.  And it's all kind of sad to me, now that I think about it.  If that's what works for us and works for my writing aesthetic, than it's OK.  Even if it's not what the other popular blogs are doing.



   And so here I am with 15 more pictures than I should be posting, and 500 more words than is probably necessary, but it's what comes naturally and so I am learning to embrace it.

   We can really only be who we are.  Everyone else is already taken.  And it can feel so vulnerable trying to figure all of that out about yourself while blogging.  Because the transformation can't really take place behind closed doors, it's just all out there front and center, in front of everyone, critics and fans alike.


 But I'm relieved that over the past years of blogging I am learning more and more about what feels natural and right, and I know when I'm trying to be something I'm not.

   We're all on this journey together!  And if you choose to follow along with us as we live our lives over here on Frame of Mind, I'm humbled and honored.

   And now I'd love to hear from you!  What are some ways in which you're trying to be more authentic and genuine in your own life?  It's not an easy thing to do!  But I can't encourage you enough to be just that......YOU.

I have been thinking. 


  This post contributed to my thoughts, but I'd already been thinking along these lines.  I had a conversation with a friend just yesterday about this very thing, actually.

   She was saying how she can hardly even read (much less enjoy) some blogs because they always seem like everything is always so perfect all of the time.  Whether it's their job, children, marriage, counter tops or hair...everything is just always JUST SO.  Perfect.  And it makes it so hard to relate to, or even enjoy partaking in as a spectator.  She said my blog isn't like that.  And that she actually enjoys reading my blog because it is REAL.  And I guess that's a compliment?? Or maybe it just means I'm a bit of a mess and so that keeps me relatable. (Haha, just kidding dear friend.)

    I was so relieved to hear that, because relatable, genuine and REAL are exactly what I want my blog to be.  I strive to keep it that way.  But it's not always easy. The internet makes it ridiculously easy for us to put on the appearance of a perfect life.  And who wouldn't want to?  We all get enough criticism and ridicule in the real world to last a lifetime, therefore our "online world" is so tempting to keep "perfect". To somehow make it so that we can stay above reproach.  So that everyone will like us and never have anything negative to say about us.

  And I hope she's right.  I sincerely hope this place isn't a place that some come, and then leave frustrated with thinking that I try to be perfect or something.  Because honestly honey, I couldn't be farther from perfect.  You have no idea the battles I face.  You don't see the times I feel as if my very soul is becoming a dried out shell of what it once was.  Or the moments when it feels like the life is draining right out of me.  YES I am blessed.  Very blessed indeed.  YES I am a daughter of the King.  But I am still a human.  And this human is NOT perfect.  This human has many moments of failure and defeat.

 
  Point is, I get it.  I understand how blogs can seem like "Oh look at us, we're happy and in love and life is great" all of the time.  I know this because I have read other blogs and have thought those exact thoughts.  And so it's not like bloggers are clueless.  We know the potential to look "perfect" in our online world, whether or not we are in real life, and don't get me wrong, it's a real temptation.  It's as real a temptation as any other chance to put our best foot forward.....putting on makeup before going out.  Shoving stuff under the bed before a friend stops over.  Laying the icing on double thick because the cake didn't turn out.  Editing our family photos until they look....just right. 

   But something you should know is that sometimes bloggers give in to this temptation, but sometimes they don't.  Sometimes what may seem as an attempt at perfection is just an attempt to "look on the bright side" and post the pictures of the children playing sweetly together and not pictures of the hair-pulling that happened right afterward.  It's not because we are trying to seem perfect, it's just because people usually document happy things.  We dress up and comb our hair and put on smiles before walking into church.  We would never expect people to think that we're always that put together.  Of course not! It goes without saying that there is crazy bed-head hair, morning breath, holes in stockings and food stains on sweaters on plenty of other mornings.  But we make an effort at times to pull it together and make ourselves presentable.

   In the same way, if a blogger posts pictures of a happy time or beautiful moments, they are in no means trying to fool you into believing that their life is full of sparkly, glittery, beautiful moments.  They wouldn't even begin to believe it themselves!  They are merely just trying to capture a happy moment to remember it as it was, be thankful, and share it with others. 

   More often than not, they are fighting their own demons, and they NEED to document a few beautiful moments to remind themselves that they DO indeed have a blessed life.  By capturing a bit of beauty on the pages they are able to, for just a moment, feel like they are getting to live out their very own fairytale.  And deep down, don't we all want to be able to do that?

   I enjoy reading blogs, and so from a reader's perspective, I get it.  Sometimes it seems like everything is just oh-so-perfect and slightly nauseating and makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out a little bit.

  However, from a blogger's perspective, I would also say that often, that couldn't be further from our minds.  Maybe sometimes, occasionally, it looks like things are 'perfect'.  Like we have it all together.  Like we're living a blessed life.  But sometimes, like I said, it might be just serving as a much-needed reminder to ourselves to in a moment of darkness.  A time of pain.  A period of searching.  A season when we feel a little lost, and we just want to reflect back on our lives, and look at it on the page and go, "Silly me, I AM blessed.  I love this life I lead." 

  Just some thoughts I've had lately.  And as always, I would love to hear feedback from you!

 Happy Sunday.