Working moms. Yay, nay?

11:22 PM

Um, yeah.  About that early to bed, early to rise resolution.....

   But then there's shows that I want to see and chalkboard frames that need painting and all other sorts of busy-ness that keeps me occupied in the evening hours after Joss goes to bed.  Still haven't figured out how to spell her nickname.  Maybe I never will.  And that's why I find myself here, past 11:00 pm, blogging. 


   Something that has been on my mind lately is the whole stay-at-home-mom thing.  I would love to hear from you all.  What are your thoughts?  Should moms work?  Stay-at-home? Some of both? Why and why not?  I would love to hear all your little, brainy thoughts on the issue.  Before I give mine. Ha.  Cuz it's my blog, that's why.  And I've got nothin' to lose.  Plus, even if no one says anything, I will still just go ahead and post my thoughts, so it's a win/win.
   It's been a while since I've even scratched the surface of a hot button issue.  This could be interesting.  Or boring.  You decide.   Boring would be what will happen if no one is courageous enough to share what they think.  So don't be a party-pooper. 
  1. Tell me, in 100 words or less, whether or not you think moms should work/stay-at-home.  
  2. Then give at LEAST 3 reasons why you think what you do.   
  3. You must leave a name.  There will be no anonymous schenanigans on this post.  If you have a strong (or a weak one) opinion, you should be courageous enough to put your name to it.   

So there you have it. 

A-a-a-a-annnnnnnd go!

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12 comments

  1. Oh Shelley, you may be opening up a can of worms here. ;o) I hope to post my $.02 later. -Andrea

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  2. I don't really think this is a "hot topic" :) I say do whatever the Lord has called you to do. Meaning, some people are called to the marketplace. They have a strong calling and an anointing-simply a desire, to work. This includes mothers. I am not saying forsake being a mother, if you are truly called than you will be able to be a mom and a coworker... I know MANY good mothers who also hold other jobs. So i say whatever the Lord strengthens you to do-DO IT! -Amber

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  3. funny,I just posted about this myself...this is my opinion,& it's ok if nobody else agrees w/ me.our children did not choose to be brought into this world,WE chose to bring them into our family.And God blessed that decision.why then would we choose to put them to a sitter or daycare for someone else raise them,teach them,shape & mold them.I personally don't want anyone else doing that for me.I have experienced both worlds.I had a part-time job after our first 2 children were born for about a year.If I could take that yr. back & redo it? I would do it in a heartbeat! That yr. Is one of my biggest regrets ever! now I realize in some situations where there is a single mom it can't be helped. but I believe if I am lucky enough to be a mom,I should BE a mom.I've been given a priceless gift,motherhood.I wouldn't trade these moments for any job in the world,the morning prayers w/ my children before they go to school,the snuggles before & after nap times,watching them discover something for the 1st time,that great big wide-open hug & I love you mom, when they get home from school,....& it goes on & on...I'll stop now,I'm sure I've exceeded my 100 words or less:)

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  4. 1. Kids need consistancy in their lives.
    2. Responsibility needs to be taken for the things we do, this includes making babies and taking care of them.
    3. God made us as woman to be nurturers and protecters of our children
    I feel like these might not be solid, unarguable points-but it's my opinion and what I believe. And I don't want to argue about it. But I am so thankful for a husband who wants to work and wants me to be able to stay at home.

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  5. Good subject here,Shelly:) There is no way I could do justice to my children and husband and a job...oh wait, I do have a full time job just taking care of my family!! I feel very priviledged to have a husband that provides very well(even if it means budgeting carefully) so I can stay at home. I've seen my sister who babysits 2 nieces and a nephew and she gets to see and enjoy all those new born moments while his mother only has him awake an hour or two every evening after work. That would make me so sad to miss all that:(
    I did work parttime when the kids were younger just cleaning RV interiors for my husband but till we paid a babysitter for 3 kids,and considered my cranky kids and this tired momma afterwards....it was NOT worth it!
    All this said, I do admire the mommas who juggle kids and a job successfully, but while my kids are young, it is just not an option for me. Verna

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  6. It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut on a subject like this! ha I could say a lot about it but in brief: Michelle and Kristy wrote a good bit about it in "Marital Bliss.." saying that if you can prioritize God Husband Children and Home and still have time for ministry/work beyond that, then go for it. (that is not a direct quote). In my limited experience as a wife, not yet a mother, who does not have a "real job", it's been incredibly rewarding to keep that in mind when making choices.
    1.There is so much that i can do to make my husbands life and work more enjoyable and profitable so even if i'm not earning a paycheck, i feel like i would so much rather help make him successful then work for some other random.
    2.I know this is a calling for me. i feel so strongly about it that it's hard for me to understand why more women don't take this role seriously. The world is not going to applaud us for being homemakers but believers should understand the importance.
    3. It's hard to lay down "self". But even Jesus wrestled with "loud cries and tears...and He was heard b/c of His reverent submission"(Heb.5:7-8) you don't get the same promotions, praise and recognition at home. It does require submitting some of my own desires. I had a fun, rewarding job as a pastry chef before i was married and now sometimes i just wanna yell, somebody notice me! ha! i know... i'm still wrestling with self! lay it down lady! =) it's so worthwhile!

    So glad you're talking about this!! (even if there's a chance your thoughts may be different then mine) =)

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  8. I think its a decision for the family, one that Mom & Dad have to make together. And I think a lot of other things weigh in - is there good daycare, does the cost-scenario make sense, does the child have any special needs that Mom could handle a bajillion times better than anyone else... it goes on. Am I at 100 words yet? Anyhow, sometimes I think I'd like to be a SAHM, even after I get this PhD. And then sometimes I think I'd like to work some. Either way, no big-box daycare for me.

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  9. I believe that our first calling as mothers is to be at home. I know that God has called me to be a sahm to nurture my children & be my husbands "helper". I think that one of the reasons we as women tend to fight this is because we see that as a weak thing & none of us want to be seen that way. But, the actual definition of "helper" as used in Scripture is not weak. I could say much more but...too many words. :) Another reason is our own selfishness. I confess, some days I wish I could just go to work. But, there’s so much I would miss out on, the good things that have just blessed my soul & the not so good things that give me the privilege of discipling & ministering to my children. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

    While I feel very strongly about this calling, I believe there is a time & season for things in our lives & that I need to be careful about judging others. I know…sometimes it’s very obvious that things aren’t working well but then, I haven’t walked in their shoes. My heart goes out to those who have to work, I can’t imagine how hard it is to balance everything. Also, I’ve have seen those who do work part time & it seems work for them.

    I also feel that while I am not called to work outside the home, that my children need to see me ministering to others outside of my home. It is a part of discipling.

    Oh & I could go on for awhile too about those who are sahm’s & are so absorbed in themselves, that they might as well be gone. Ok I am way beyond 100 words so I’ll stop now. :)

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  10. Can't help but comment...sometimes life happens and a mom has to help out...my mom often got criticism when we were growing up for doing jobs outside of home to help provide for our family sometimes life happens and there isnt a choice because you are trying to do whats right for your family...my parents felt it was important for us kids to go to private school and in order to do that mom (and sometimes us kids) worked in order to help out....You can still serve your family and care for your family even working....So what is right for our family may not be right for your family.....I really feel you need to pray about it first and seek God for direction and maybe its only a short time....I dont think there is a right and wrong here. You need to do what is best for your family at the time along with having Gods blessing either way you as a mother can be a mother whole heartedly be a mother wither you stay home or work out and only you know if it is for selfish reasons not me.

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  11. Coincidence: http://carolynkauffman.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/the-monstrous-regiment-of-women-and-why-i-cant-enlist/

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  12. I always feel a bit behind the times when I don't realize a particular subject is a highly-debated hot topic. :) So here are a few of my thoughts, but know that they don't come from a very seriously opinionated mind. :) It's all rather personal and not intended to be the judgement call for others.

    1. Everything we do should be for the purpose of glorifying the Father. I don't know what all that means in this situation, but I'll say that I want to filter every decision I make through this scope. I have always known this in a head level, but it is becoming more and more heart knowledge.
    2. I have worked part time as a mom and not worked. I started a photography business when my first son was one and I didn't have enough to do to keep me really busy. It was a creative outlet for me. At the time I wanted to help supplement our income. Now I realize that the extra income was only wanted not needed. I started it with the blessing of my husband. After I had my second son and my business continued to grow I struggled to keep my family priority. I may have spent time with them like I wanted to, but I also stayed up really, really late to meet deadlines which obviously affected my interactions. Of course I tried to respond with grace, but your brain and heart are not the same when you're sleep-deprived. I was hearing God tell me that I needed to step back. I really didn't want to, so I dragged my feet. We ended up moving, and I haven't reestablished my business, yet. God continued working in my heart. I determined that if and when I did it would be--not me asking(begging) God if I may--but only moving if He was telling me to step in that direction. Our situation has changed to where we really do need extra income. I don't think it's up to me to make up the slack, but if God and my husband are both propelling me in that direction I will move. :) [I think it is so easy to justify/ask for blessing on what I want to do, but I strongly desire to want to do what GOD wants me to do.] I long to be motivated by His direction not my own. Since I've stepped back from it all and see the many ways it affected me and my family relationships I'm not as eager to jump back into it even though I miss the income and relating with people--loving their babies, making friends, and mostly miss creating art.
    3.I grew up with my mom working. I can see lots of things that were missed because of it. I don't say this to blame her. It wasn't even her choice to be working, but I do think it makes a significant difference if a mother is present in a child's growing up years. Because of my experience I want to be present and have the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual energy to build them up the way God wants me to.

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