Hello again.

10:19 PM

My oh my, how time can fly.

   Of course being a mom to Jocelyn already made me aware of that, but somehow it flies even faster with two.  I mean honestly, will I soon wake up to realize it's the morning of my daughter's graduation?  Wedding?  Birth of my first grandchild?!  Will someone please slow it all down?!!!


   Of course I wouldn't want it any other way.  We want them to grow, to change, to develop.  We love those firsts...those moments and milestones like the first tooth, the first step, the riding the bike without training wheels.  But lately its left me feeling a bit like I'm clinging for life to the side of a speeding train. 
  
   Charlotte's at that bittersweet stage where the newborn newness is melting off of her faster than butter on a stack of steaming flap jacks.   It seems that after every bath, and upon every dawning morning she is just a little bit different.  It's both beautiful and painful to watch, and I wouldn't mind if it all just slowed down a bit.  Although for the sake of a good night's sleep, I guess I wouldn't mind if it kept on speeding along.  Guess you can't have it all, huh?

   With all of this growing and changing and nursing and sleeping (or not sleeping) going on,  my blog,(along with other things like laundry and organization in pretty much any way, shape, or form ) has shifted from a "priority" to more of a "Oh yeah, that's that one thing I should probably get around to some day."  Babies just have a way of shaking up your life and once the dust settles you figure out what's important to you and what's just....not as much.

   Don't get me wrong, my blog is still important to me.  That hasn't changed.  It's just when you have the luxury of that free hour, a nice long shower or uninterrupted bowl of ice cream or down time doing nothing seems to always happen before blogging.  Once again, it's about priorities.;)

   Also, my personal quiet time has been hemorrhaging ever since Charlotte was born, and I want to nurse that back to health before I launch back into blogging.  So bear with me. 


   Jocelyn's favorite pastime lately has been "mothering".  She spends so much time with her little baby doll wrapping her in a blanket, burping her, snuggling her close and whispering sweet things to her.  It just melts me into a sloppy little puddle. It seems some days I'm in a constant cycle of doubt/guilt/wistfulness when it comes to Jocelyn.  Doubt that I'm giving her the attention she needs/deserves for this stage of her life, guilt that Charlotte is taking my time and energy, and wistfulness of the days when it was just the two of us.  At the close of each day I find myself asking..."Did she have enough of me today?" And not sure of the answer.  I'm hoping that soon we will find more of a routine, and a new normal.

    Well, this post is quite a bit shorter than I thought it would be, but that's what happens when you still need a shower, snack, and are typing with one hand.

Goodnight world.

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2 comments

  1. Shelley, I can so identify to your post right now! I love, love the newborn stage and hate how quickly it passes. Every morning I think Carver has changed his looks again and is gaining weight like crazy and not looking newborn... but then I hate the recovery time period for myself. I want to be tearing around w/ my girls, taking care of the family and still snuggling my newborn - then my body reminds me that I need to take it easy. I hope rest and sweet moments between you and each girl come to you today!
    -Cindy

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  2. Me too! My baby is 2 months old already, and seems like last week I was pregnant! It's almost frustrating how longggg pregnancy can seem, and then the first 9-10 months of your baby's life fly by before you can blink twice.

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