11:48 PM

   I love them.  I always think I should respond to them, and then am to lazy to reply to each individual one, and then think I will just address them in a separate post or something, and then never do, and on and on it goes.  It's ironic that I would enjoy them so much, and respond so little.  And when I don't get any I am left wondering...what did I do wrong?  Was it something I said?  Something I didn't?  I just crave that feedback, that affirmation that I was heard.  Someone got it. 

But then you would think I would respond, after all that, wouldn't you?

   Well there you have it folks, one of my glaring blogging weaknesses.  A close second to "posts once in a blue moon" which I heard we actually had a few nights ago (a blue moon, that is) but I don't think I even posted then, so what does that make me? Posts once every fortnight?  Fourscore and seven years?  Moving on.

   Comments.  And how I love them.  They make me feel so validated, so....I don't know.  Just like this silly little blog actually means something to someone other than me.  Like my thoughts matter.  Like someone cares about my tiny, little world.  It helps motherhood seem more like a calling than a predicament.  They encourage me, inspire me, motivate me, and humor me, and more often than not, plain and simply make my day.  And so now I will take some time to personally, in front of THOUSANDS (ha.) reply to some of them.  I will probably sometimes take little snippets of comments, and maybe other times post the whole thing.  They are from all different posts, and all different times, and in no particular order.  Also, if your comment wasn't selected, it's nothing personal.  I was just picking a few this time, and hopefully I will do this again another time, with even more. 

Clarita said, "Yes a million times!! I had no idea how it would go from having one child and getting the "awwww" looks of admiration to having two and suddenly getting "poor you" looks. No, I am not a single mother whose life is out of control. Yes, my husband and I actually want all these children. And maybe one at a time, we have to show the world how much of a blessing children are."  I just wholeheartedly agree.  First of all, I am shocked that she would garner any "poor you" looks with her darling daughters and handsome little guy, complete with charming outfits and cute hair, and her radiant self!  But I guess that's proof it can happen to anyone, and we moms have to stick together.:)  She also said, "If I wouldn't have seen baby bump pictures prior to this, I would think you adopted, because there is no baby tummy to be seen!"  Which I'm not sure exactly what mirage she thought she was seeing, but let's be honest...what mom doesn't love hearing that?!  So bless you Clarita, for being an inspiration all around.
Allison said, "Shelley...I love how you're so real. Thanks for sharing your life here- I love all the glimpses of love, struggle, and sweetness mixed together."  That is just what I strive to be...REAL.  I want my blog to be a place of honesty without being depressing, a place where reality meets hope. So thank-you for making me feel like that is coming across!

Ruth  said, "Now when someone says 'Wow,you have your hands full' I respond with,'Yes, I do. But I would rather have my hands full, than to have them empty."  Couldn't agree more.

Briana said, "Blogging helps me to see those good moments as well. . . to soak them up and to see that life can be beautiful."  AGREED. I think this may be THE reason I blog.  To somehow put a spotlight on the beauty of life, rather than the broken.  Not so that our lives may seem "perfect", not at all.  But that we may be reminded of how much we have to be so thankful for, and it so doing, actually worship God.

Lisa Joy said, "I love being a mom, and the way it stretches your heart wide open with more love than you ever thought possible." I can honestly say, I just echo that completely.  My heart has been stretched to the breaking and beyond, in a beautiful way.

Karla said, "Your "did I take time to connect" thoughts are so me! I do it almost every time after I've been home! LOVED your blog, once again. And I am quite certain nobody else thought of the "mishaps" quite in the same light you did, or probably not at all"This was just one of those, "Oh good, someone GETS it!" comments.  It also felt good to hear that maybe others weren't thinking of my mishaps like I do.

Melanie said, "Shelley reading this amused me. I was struck by how much harder we moms are on ourselves than we should be."  What a relief.  Let's just all stop being hard on ourselves then, shall we?  Sounds good to me.

Esta said, "Shelly, I remember a while back me writing a post about wanting to live a "wild ocean" life and you had a response post pondering what it meant in your life. And I just want you to know that you are living more of a wild ocean life than I can even imagine right now and doing it with strength and humour. I tip my hat to you."  
    There's so many more, but I think I'll end with this one for a couple of, because it is getting really, really late and I really, really need to get to bed.  Two, because this comment really won't mean nearly as much to you if you haven't read this post by Esta, and then read this post by me first, so go ahead and do that.  Then this comment will make sense, and you will realize the fullness of it for me.  It was so lovely to hear that from her.  It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself/hear from people/read in a book/etc., that motherhood is a high calling, it doesn't always feel that way.  And why would it?  In between the boogers and the diapers and the spaghetti in everyone's hair it's rather easy to lose sight of that.  But than I hear a simple, straight-forward comment.  Just 3 sentences, really.  And the tears well up and the heart swells and the breath catches and I think, YES.  Yes, yes yes.  Thank-you Jesus, I can still live a wild ocean life.  I am just so glad that we don't have to trade in all of everything else, to be a mom.  Rather, we get to experience, all of everything else, when we become a mother.  God is so good.

With that, I bid you a goodnight.  And please, keep the comments coming.:)

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  1. well could anyone NOT comment after that? =) i feel like i barely know you...well actually, i DO barely know you...haha...but i truly love reading your blog. i love your style. and your thoughts on mothering and all the ups and downs always sound so much like what's in my head. and you have gorgeous kids so it's always fun to look and see if you posted new pics of them. =) nate and janene were here the other day and we were looking at wedding pics. decklin saw a pic of joss and was like "HEY MOM!!! there's THAT little girl!". haha...because i should obviously know who "THAT little girl" is.

  2. i could relate to so much of this post! i agree, blogging is kinda pointless for me with no commenting interaction. which is funny- because like you, i am TERRIBLE at replying. terrible.
    i always love seeing, visiting whatever, your blog- it's a breath of fresh air and honesty...

  3. Oh man...I have a love/hate relationship with comments! I LOVE them because I love feedback, love knowing someone thought something I said was interesting, love knowing that someone read and felt some sort of response, love feeling like people 'like' me because they said something nice...but I hate them because I hate being sad when I have none (which, let's be honest here, is usually the case!). So then I have to step back and remember why I started my blog in the first place: it was just to record our lives so our families could feel a part of our every day, and probably no one outside of my family cares about what we do (which I can't imagine why not...because we are soooo interesting). And even more than reading comments (which I really, REALLY love), I love flipping through the months/years and reading about what we did. Events I know I would have forgotten about had I not written them down. I take way more pictures as a blogger than I think I would have before, and I am grateful for that. I tend to look harder for good moments every day, because I don't want to only write about the frustrations. I have to ask myself (often) if I would continue to write if I knew no one was reading, and I'm happy to say that my answer is 'yes.' It makes me happy that my desire to write comes from an intrinsic place. And now after giving myself this pep-talk on comments, I never knew writing a blog would be so character building! haha. But I really love reading your blog b/c more often than not I can say in relief "hey, I'm not the only one who feels that way!" I think motherhood should involve more teamwork with other mothers, otherwise exhaustion and desperation and loneliness crowd in, making the days harder than they need to be. I appreciate getting a little peak into your heart and life. :)

  4. oh goodness, i feel honored to be mentioned here on your lovely blog. :)
    and let's get together and have a conversation about blogging. i would love that. some days i love it, other days i feel that i wouldn't care if i'd never blog again! i do love the interaction, especially as a mother, that it gives me with other women on so many different levels - encouragement, mothering, fashion, education, interior design... and then sometimes it feels like such potential for me to waste time, and time is so precious these days! oh for wisdom!!
    but one thing i do know, when i visit here, i love it. it's fresh, it's real, and i just think i'd really like you in real life. :)


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