Where to start.

   I truly don't feel like I could even catch up even if I tried, and so I'm sure whether or not to attempt to.  Lately we have been so busy, blah, blah blah so is everyone else, I understand.  But it's felt even busier than usual, what with the potty training, and the football, and the Presidential debates, and the church revival meetings, and the fingerfoods, and the nursing, and the Bible study, and the laundry, and the...you get the picture.

   In other news, Randy's cousin Amanda and her husband Aaron were out here to visit from Florida recently, and it was lovely seeing them again.  I am shamelessly stealing these pictures from Amanda off of Facebook, because I have hardly been getting my camera out lately and I don't have any.  Well that's not true, I have one picture of us all sitting around the table eating brunch, but it's not a very good one and I'm too lazy to get it off of my camera.  So please, just enjoy the stolen pictures. 

   Jocelyn loved them, and also loved their camera.  She would beg Aaron for "cheese" hoping for another photo op. 


    I just wish I could have been a little less busy and preoccupied and spent even more time with them.  But then, that's usually how it goes, isn't it? Time flies, children need you, it's the never ending story.

   Today, has truly been "one of those days".  I hesitate blogging about it because I know it will sound pessimistic and will provoke people to tell me how to "look on the bright side" and how "it will get better" and how "to just hang in there" and my favorite one, "Enjoy each moment, time flies by so quickly!"   And trust me, I am fully aware that each of those is completely true.  My girls are growing up before my very eyes, and I am powerless to stop it. 

   **And so reader, please take note**
    I am posting this, not for sympathy or comfort, but rather for my own record-keeping.  So that when they're 17 and 16 and borrowing my keys and running out the door and all I want to do is sob that they're not my babies anymore and collapse in a heap and bemoan days gone by....I will have THIS POST to look back on a realize, hey, it's really not too horrible after all, this "time passing by" business.  And maybe it is a little nice that they grow up after all.

   This morning started too early, as all mornings do.  I have been feeling a quiet, persistent nudging in my soul lately to rise even earlier, before my children, and have my quiet time.  But that doesn't mean I haven't been stuffing that poor quiet nudging in a sock drawer. 

   I have felt powerless to go to bed any earlier, as I so thoroughly enjoy my "off-duty hours" late at night, and consequently, powerless to get up any earlier.  And I have been paying for it.  The cries of my little ones are my alarm clock.  Upon opening my eyes for the day, I am already needed. Demands are being made.  Wet sheets need to be changed.  Stinky babies need to be bathed and outfits need to be found from messy drawers and put on wriggly limbs.   It is late in the morning before I am even able to dress myself, much less THINK about a quiet time.  There still needs to be breakfast and dishes and potty and clean-up and...it's all just a little too much. 

   And then there's mornings like this one when I'm starting to get on a roll with the littlest one nursed and bathed and changed and begin to fantasize about a morning going my way, when I look up to see Jocelyn pooping on the floor.  She had just had a bath as well, and was all fresh and clean and stark naked, pooping on the floor.  So then I found myself scrubbing with rag and carpet cleaner, rather than enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee.

    Then there was breakfast, and Jocelyn likes hot breakfasts, so I whipped up some baked oatmeal.  And while that was baking, made my own pumpkin spice creamer.  Why, why, why.  Well, because I ran out of creamer and was determined not to buy any until I had made this pinterest recipe, and let's be honest, what is a cup of morning coffee without creamer?  So desperate, I set out to making it, right then.  And just at that critical moment while you're whisking and stirring and the cream is getting all steamy, I tried to take off the lid to the REAL maple syrup and could. Not. Get. It. Off.  I tell you that thing was super-glued.  So after suppressing that stream of cuss words threatening to spill over, I took out my frustration on the dumb thing on the counter, and wouldn't you know, it opened right up.  I'm just going to try that the first time next time.

   Then I needed to strain it before filling the jar, and of course, couldn't find the strainer anywhere.  Anywhere.  But I NEEDED to strain it!  What do I do?!  This much work cannot be for naught!  So I texted Randy, hoping against hope that he had used it and put it somewhere.  Of course he hadn't, and I'm sure he was wondering why in the world I was bothering him at work with a question on strainer location.

    Breakfast was finally ready, and I fed a hungry Jocelyn.  Gulped my coffee with un-strained creamer, downed my baked oatmeal.  And some point after that, I decided to try and go outside to sit on the porch to have devotions.  But then Jocelyn decided it would be a good time to finish pooping in her pants.  So then I cleaned that up.  O.k. that's not true, I had a mini melt-down in the hall for a good few minutes, and then I cleaned it up.  Then of course Charlotte was up from her nap, so I couldn't go back outside.  Meanwhile, Jocelyn begged for a treat, could NOT understand why she couldn't get one, after all, she had pooped hadn't she?  Wailed at the injustice of it all, Mommy wanted to wail as well. 

   Time to nurse Charlotte.  Received a call from a friend, talked for longer than I realized, forgot to take toddler potty, I'm sure you can guess the rest.  Cleaned up her wet mess, and finished the phone call.  Time for lunch.  So far today, I've accomplished baked oatmeal, homemade creamer that still needs to be strained, and poop patrol.  Gold medal for me.

   Ate lunch, sort of.   Jocelyn was probably upset with the morning as well, so neither of us ate much.  Decided an early naptime was in order.  Put the girls to bed, and had my quiet time.  Now I'm blogging.  Still feel like I haven't gotten a thing done all day, and they of course will be up soon.

   So this brings us back to you, dear Shelley-of-the-future.  There you are, pacing the floor and staring out the window, wanting and wishing for your teenagers to be tots again, but I just want to gently remind you, you didn't always wish it so. 

You longed for the day when they would pee in the potty, every single time.

You longed for the day they would help you make bread and muffins and pumpkin spice creamer.

   You longed for the day they would wake up saying, "Good morning Mom!" rather than wailing for milk, and clean diapers, and baths and breakfast.

You longed for the day that moments of quiet would abound.

   You LONGED for the day when you could have a conversation with them exceeding "HOO-RAY!  You went potty!  You get a treat."  and "Oh no! You went in your pants. :(  Poopy goes in the POTTY not your pants!"  And now you get to talk about school and God and what they want to be when they grow up and all kinds of wonderful things. 

   So just relax.  Take a chill pill.  Stop fretting and fussing and whining and wishing for days gone by.  They weren't all Norman Rockwell moments.  You weren't always kissing their flushed cheeks all rosy from a nap and hearing their sweet little babbles and coos.  You weren't at every moment playing peek-a-boo and patty-cake and being slayed by their sweetness.  There were days like today, when you were scrubbing poop off of surfaces, and fighting back tears of frustration and shuffling around the house looking haggard, wild, and in need of a shower. 

I leave you with this, dear Shelley-of-the-future:

   Time passing by is not the enemy.  Sometimes, it is your very, best, friend.