Home for now.

11:28 AM

Sometimes I find myself in dire need of an attitude adjustment.

Sometimes it's my daughters (namely my eldest) that need one.

    But in any case, (and whomever it is that is needing one) it is beneficial to ALL to get one.  And something I've found that works like magic is just taking time to notice things, like we did a few days ago.

   Noticing things?  How would that bring about an attitude adjustment?  Well, I don't know about you, but  on my darkest days, sometimes it seems completely overwhelming to even think about trying to be grateful.   I don't want to try and count my blessings.  
    But that's when I discovered the remedy of "noticing things".  Because even to your grumpiest self, giving yourself a direct order to get outside and just notice some details doesn't seem to overwhelming or Pollyanna-strangle-me-nowish.  It feels...doable. Like something your sad little spirit can handle.  And the funny thing is?  When you get yourself to just at least LOOK at some details in nature, or take a bucket outside and see what "treasures" you can find, you just can't help but start to feel thankful.  I'm not sure what it is exactly....but there is joy to be found in detail.

 Ann Voskamp writes about this very thing in her book, 1,000 Gifts, and you will find her in her kitchen, waxing poetic about the curve of bubbles breaking in the sink or the shavings of grated cheese piling up on a plate.  It may sound silly, but just TRY IT.  Just literally try noticing details and you will end up giving thanks.  It just may catch you by surprise.

At least it does me.

 We found a few toys buried deep, all crusted over with time long gone by since they were last played with.  It made me wonder about who it was that played in this yard before us, and what their lives might have been like.  And whether those children are grown now, with jobs and suits and maybe even beards, and it all sort of made me rather wistful.   I wonder if someday, a long time from now, when someone is living in this house, if they will still find cheerios in the nooks and crannies and tiny little pink hair bands buried deep into the carpet and wonder about our little girls.  And I wonder if just that fast, my girls will be grown and living their own lives with homes and cars and husbands and babies.......

 I'm not sure how I haven't owned a trucker hat before now, but I'm going to go on record to say that it should be a wardrobe staple.  Even more so if it has your husband's business name on it. It goes with everything, you don't have to do your hair.....do I even need to mention any more things?

     We are so grateful to live in this breathtakingly beautiful place.  A place with fruit trees and the juiciest, biggest berries you've ever seen, a place for a garden, HUGE yards to play in, and a view of the foothills and  sheep pastures all around.  We are renting and currently house hunting, so obviously, this won't last forever.  I will be so sad to leave, and I will cherish so many memories from this beautiful home.

 Occasionally, a sheep gets across the fence and isn't sure how to get back.  There was a poor little lost lamb the other day, and Jocelyn and I chased and chased it, trying to get it back over to its mama.

    I just could not stop thinking about how like sheep, we go astray.  And how it must absolutely pain the Father to watch us, bleating and crying and frantically running in circles, throwing ourselves over and over into barbed wire in an attempt to be free.  I kept thinking if that poor little lamb would just let me help!  It would be so simple and painless and quick and easy and.......well, life is rarely that way is it?  And even less so when we run from the Good Shepherd.

     I am so thankful for this place that we call home.  It is an old house, with lots of character and memories etched into each wall.  It has a large front porch and deck out back that are just begging to be remodeled and decorated and used.  But for now, they most often sit empty.

    As the story goes, the lady that lived here a long, long time ago, stuck some saplings from the California redwoods in her purse and transported them here.  So we have these magnificent trees in our front yard that drop the biggest, most beautiful pine cones. I want to put these trees in my purse when we leave.

  And these flowering bushes.  
  And this little balcony off of our master bedroom, where sometimes, when the weather's right and I have the time, I lay out in the sun when the girls are napping.

   Don't get me wrong, I am excited about what the future holds, but isn't it always difficult to close a chapter?  Well, I guess not always.  Especially when you're eager for a chapter to end because maybe it's been pretty rotten.  And so I guess that is yet another thing I can be thankful for....if a chapter is hard to see end, it means it was a good one.  

   Thank-you, Jesus for whatever lies ahead, and whatever we may have to say good-bye to along the way.  

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  1. Beautiful post, Shelly!

    Your last few lines especially - that when it is sad to say goodbye to a part of life, it means it was a special, treasured part. I have thought of that often with saying goodbye to a dear friend of mine - if the friendship had not been so cherished, it would not have been as sad and as much of a loss. The fact that is IS a loss and sadness testifies to the sacredness and love there...

  2. I absolutely love this post. So raw and so real. I feel like this a lot as well. I try to write about things I am thankful for each Monday. I pick Mondays because that is the day that is sometimes the hardest. Such a wonderful blog. and I LOVE the lilac bushes. We live in an apartment right now and I DREAM of the day I can plant flowers again!!! http://forgivenbygracee.blogspot.com/2013/05/mondays-can-bewell-just-ick.html

  3. wow! I was feeling sad yesterday too, and yet also knew in my heart how incredibly much i have to be thankful for! I know I took beauty of Oregon for granted when I lived there, mainly because I didn't know the rest of the world was so..... well, drab. :)

  4. Did you read that recent Ann Voskamp post about her son getting ready to go to college? It seems like you did because you mentioned bubbles, which is how the post started. Anyways, you know me and Ann Voskamp but I LOVED that post! I'm trying to apply her thoughts better. And...I love your house. When can I purchase it? haha.


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