BBQs and such.

12:09 AM

   It is late.  I should most definitely be asleep right now, but sometimes I just feel the need to write a bit.  Today started out with a brisk, 8-mile run, and a healthy breakfast.  O.k. so it was Randy doing the running and me doing the breakfast, in full disclosure. 

   Then we tackled some yard work and I snuck in a quick nap before getting ready for a BBQ with my sister's family and some friends.  It was your typical, all-American Saturday really. 

But that's not the whole story.

   I won't give you the whole story, because it's really not a place I'm willing to go.  Don't worry, it wasn't a fight with Randy or anything.  It had nothing to do with him so you can just set your little minds at ease on that front.  It was just a time of some soul-searching and deep, internal struggling.  Like I said, not a place I'm going to go, but I'm just being real and trying to let you know that things aren't always unicorns and daisy-sniffin' elvin fairies over here. 

   I was recently chatting a bit with a friend about struggles, and why is it that when we go through them we tend to think we are the only ones?  It's like, we know that we aren't the only ones who deal with issues, but when we're in the midst of it, that's precisely what it feels like.  Like we're all alone.  Silly really, but gets me every time.

   And so I stayed in that place, that dry and empty place of internal struggle, until our guests arrived for the BBQ and then we all had a wonderful, spirit-lifting time.  The day ended on a high note, with the girls in bed and Randy and I out by the fire, all alone, talking about life and looking at the stars.

   So the moral of the story is......throw enough BBQs with friends that you don't have time to think about internal struggles and such.  O.k. obviously that is not the answer.  I guess I am just tired of my mind tricking me into thinking that I am the ONLY person that has that kind of day, and maybe in some small way, admitting it on this little space of the internet world, someone else will be encouraged to share their story. 

   And that actually happens every now and then, as I recently got an email from someone who wanted to talk to me about some struggles they were facing in their personal life, and I was just blown away.  It was like, "Really God?  So this journey through life that makes us trip and stumble and fall completely on our faces at times can have a point?!  If, even by some small, miniscule measure, the battles I face prepare me to help someone else someday.....then I suppose it is worth it." 

So I guess that is the moral of the story.

Either that or people should sit around campfires more often. 

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  1. you aren't alone in your struggles, REALLY! yesterday was one of those days where I was TRYING to be thankful. Thankful in the dirty laundry, thankful in the grass clippings all over my floors, Thankful for the toys, covering every inch of my get the idea. It means I don't have sickly children, my family is well clothed, the weather has been beautiful, the kids have a huge, grassy yard to play in...It may not be what you are struggling with, but each of us has something we are trying to work through at this time in our lives-you are not alone, praying you find peace in/through the struggle.


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