Dear Jocelyn.

2:43 PM



My darling little girl.....we had a rough day today.  Days with you can be so fun.  Just the best that there can be.  But then there are days when it seems that everything I do and say is wrong.  You are trying to find your independence, your place in this world, and sometimes it seems that mama just gets in the way.  I want you to know that I see the UTMOST potential in you.  Even when I want to throw something, or send myself to my OWN room for a "time-out" of peace and quiet, I see greatness in  you.  You are going to go so far.  How could you not?  There is just something special about you.  They weren't all bad moments.  There were times that you pushed your sissy sweetly in the stroller and you lit up with excitement over your new sandals from the garage sale.  But there were not-so-nice moments as well that had me wondering WHAT to do.  I guess in so many ways, I'm learning right along with you.  The day that you started out into this world, brand-new, I was starting brand new too.  A brand new mommy.


  

But I'm thankful that you're showing me every day, what it means to learn.  To turn to Christ for what I need, and not relying on my own, limited strength. 
 I need to turn to Him for direction.
 I need to ask Him for patience.  
      I need to BEG Him for wisdom.  
   And there are so many things about molding a young soul that will drive a mama to her knees and that is SO GOOD for an independent soul like me, and so.....thank you.  Thank you for showing me that I don't have all the answers.  And just how that's o.k.  It's o.k. because I know Someone who DOES.  And I can call on him even long after Grandma's gone to bed, and is unavailable.   

 

   And the truth is, as apparent by these pictures, you're growing so fast each and every day that mama's just a tiny bit scared....scared that I won't teach you everything I need to.  Scared that I will somehow stifle your ambitions.  Scared I will limit your imagination.  Scared I will minimize your dreams.  Scared I will make you feel like you're not enough. 

   Because you are, sweet child.  You are.  You are more than enough and I can't wait to see what the future hold for you.   You're going to go so far my dear, and I am so honored I get the privilege of being your mama. 

Bad days and all.



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1 comments

  1. Give yourself points for surviving, Shelley. Even I with my 14-year-old found it stressful, navigating the crowds. Jenny and I talked about taking your girls for a while but I knew they didn't know us well enough to want to drop Mom and join us so it wouldn't accomplish much. I'm glad to see you blogged because it means you were sitting down, hopefully with your feet up. So yeah, points for the sandals Joce loved and for just getting out and having an adventure and, like I said, for surviving.

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