The most random post ever.

3:53 PM

Yesterday was wild.

   I got to go shopping ALL BY MYSELF at H&M and Ikea, with no children.  Did I mention I was all by myself?! Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!!  I didn't know what to do with myself.

   The original point of my trip was to pick up Shelby from the airport that evening, but his flight was DELAYED and he ended up missing a connecting flight, so long story short, he didn't come in until the next day.  The frugal/thrifty side of me HATED the fact that I had to just turn around and go home and someone else had to get him the next day!  But I got to see my friend Melissa so it was all worthwhile.  Oh and did I mention the shopping?

   In other news, we started our women's Bible study this morning and even though I was late because the car was out of gas and oil, it was a lovely time.  We're doing a Beth Moore study on James, and I am pumped.  I told someone there I had to put oil in the car that morning and they were impressed and I just had to add, "I've actually CHANGED the oil in my car before."  Then they were REALLY impressed!  Thanks dad, for giving me the ability to impress people. 

   Yesterday's blogtember prompt (which I missed) was "only photos" and today's prompt is Creative writing day: write a (very short) fictional story that starts with this sentence: "To say I was dreading the dinner party would be the understatement of the century."

   Um, o.k., we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days.  Posting only photos isn't bad, and normally I would relish a chance to do just that.  But not so much these days as the display on my camera isn't working and as of recently I can't find the cord to download them anyway so I never even get my camera out anymore.  It's a sad, sad, day.  So those two (above) from my phone with have to suffice. And a creative writing assignment?  I thought I was through with those after graduating high school. 

   So what should one do when one doesn't feel like doing Blogtember prompts?  Hmmm....put up a darling video of one's kids, of course.  This was a video taken after we visited the Portland zoo, and if I ever find my cord to download pictures, I'll have to do a post about that wonderful day.  Oh and if you think the zoo is expensive, just go on the second Tuesday of the month!  Adults are $4, and 3 and under are free.  SCORE.

  Oh this just slays me.  And I WISH I would have caught it while she was saying it on the video, but looking back over it now, I realize what she was saying right after the part when she talks about the elephants.  She was saying, "They were throwing dirt on themselves" because of the dirt baths the elephants were enjoying at the zoo.  I am just so tickled that she was able to take it all in, and remember it even after we got home.  Also, please notice my hubby taking out the trash in the background.  What a guy, what a guy.

   O.k. fine!!  I'm not one to break the rules, so I'll give this creative essay a shot.  I need to work on my fiction writing skills anyway. Bah.  She said it should be super short so............

  To say I was dreading the dinner party would be the understatement of the century.  How could I not be?  It would just be another opportunity for my plethora of flaws to take center stage.  First off, it was going to be held at the Garrisons' in all their glorious perfection.  The Holy Grail of Families.  Each member knitted together in a kindred spirit bond that makes you sick with jealousy and contempt at the same time.  And then of course Linda Garrison, God's gift to all mankind, in attendance as well.  I never could stand her but I wasn't ever sure if it was because I genuinely didn't like her, or because I wished that God would have made me just like her. 
  I mean, this girl was perfect.  She was as sweet and innocent as a newborn baby bunny and had all the qualities I lacked.  I am loud and impulsive, insensitive and opinionated.  I always felt like a big, lumbering, Neanderthal around her.  And a dinner party with her and all of those near and dear to her?  Count me out.

   I just wasn't feeling up for it.  Not now, when all my insecurities were already running rampant and wild.  Not now, with all the current upheaval at home with dad leaving and mom "finding God" or whatever it is exactly that she was doing at the moment. 

   That whole church this is what got me into this mess in the first place.  If mom hadn't been invited than I certainly wouldn't have been forced to go, and a perfectly good Friday night wouldn't have been completely and totally ruined.  Why did I have to go anyway?  It's not like I had the kind of wardrobe for that sort of thing. 

   I looked down, giving myself a once-over.  Converse, ripped jeans, and a Rolling Stones t-shirt whose logo was nearly faded into oblivion from being worn too many times.  Yep, definitely not "Dinner party with Lovely Linda and the Godly Garrisons" appropriate.  Great.

   O.k. that's all for now!  I pretty much just sat down and spit that out, so please, go easy on me. And Jenni said it didn't have to have an ending and my kids are up.  So.....yeah.  There you are.  What did you all do this Thursday?

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  1. ugh Now you have to finish the story you peaked my interest!

  2. Sure glad your story wasn't true, how depressing. Sure glad your Dad is the love your baby forever type. Now just to get 5 more kids married to that love & cleave forever type, and I'll be so stress free!!!

  3. That video is darling!! I love how Charlotte is just sitting there practically naked and Jocelyn just talks on and on with her stories! And that larger than life photo of! So glad that's there. :)

  4. As always, I have no idea how to reply to comments. Individually? On my blog? So confusing. But I love comments! So I will not complain.:) Anon, you will have to wait until that one comes out in a bookstore near you. Ha. Lexi-thanks for reading!! Mom-you are hilarious. Sometimes I don't even know exactly what you mean but it always makes me laugh. Melissa-you look great as always.

  5. We just started the Beth Moore study on James too! I think I'll love it, even though we're meeting on Sunday afternoons so it will cut into my nap time! :)

  6. If you ever decided to start cranking out novels, I'd totally proofread them for you. For reals.

    Be the first one to read Shelley's newest thriller? Check.
    Amend minor flaws in physics, punctuation, and plot lines? Check.
    Reading New-York-Times Bestsellers for free? Check.

    1. HA! NY best seller? You're hilarious. But don't you think you'd get rather bored looking for any punctuation or spelling errors? Tee-hee.


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