“How many loved your moments of glad grace,  

And loved your beauty with love false or true;  

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,  

And loved the sorrows of your changing face.”

-W. B. Yeats

 Just a quote by another, slightly more famous William.  How strange that he would have written a poem about my husband without ever having met us.  I came across this quote the other day in a book I am reading and it struck so deep and true that I can hardly stop thinking about it.  

   I feel like our "story" is a quite long and complicated one, but in a strange sort of way, it can also be summed up in that quote.  And so perhaps I will memorize that and log it away for when people ask us for "our story" because that would certainly take a lot less time and brain power to say.  

    Not much to report on around here.  "Harvest season" (as far as the feed-making business is concerned) is in full swing, and so Randy has been putting in more hours in the truck and we have been putting in more hours well....at home.  Baby snuggling and feeding and attending to the needs of my little ladies has mostly filled my days lately.  William sleeps for 5-6 hour stretches at night and is either happy or sleeping during the day.  I'm spoiled rotten, I know.

   People from church have been bringing meals by, and I am convinced that is about 97.8% of the reason why things are going so well.  I get a little sweaty and nervous when I think about getting back into the grocery/cooking/cleanup routine of life again.  Can we just eat take out from now on?  Or hire a cook?  Those both sound like great options to me.

   Even though things have been going well, we still get a little stir-crazy being home so much.  Sometimes the girls play like Anne and Diana Berry and sometimes they more closely resemble Peter  Pan and captain Hook and mama's patience starts to wear paper-thin, so then we need to get a little more creative with our days.  Usually that looks something like an emergency call to Randy, and him taking one of them with him in the truck.  They usually fall asleep, so it's their nap for the day too, quality time with Daddy, and quiet time for Mama and whichever one is at home, all wrapped up in one convenient solution.  

So basically a win/win for EVERYONE. 

   

    I'm also starting to dig into the Explode the Code series with Jocelyn, hoping to accomplish preschool this fall.  Well, I guess it's the books leading up to the Explode the Code ones, called "Get Ready for the Code".  I am feeling like somewhat of a slacker, because my mom informs me that I was reading at the age of 4, and Jocelyn will turn 5 in December and we have a LOT of ground to cover.  But of course I was just desperate to keep up with everything my older sister was doing, and so maybe Charlotte will be my early learner.  I potty trained early too, for the same reason.  In any case, the clock is ticking and I can't just sit around forever hoping they will wake up one day for an insatiable thirst for learning.

   I have felt a stirring lately, and I'm not yet sure what all of it means.  I have these hopes and dreams and goals and ambitions and most of them I am too insecure about to even mention, but I have felt more motivation lately to at least take baby steps towards them and so that's....progress, I think? A sign, I hope?  Who knows.  

   It is so easy for me to fall into a pit of self-deprecation and jealousy over the fact that so many others seem to have already found "it".  Found their niche, found their multi-million dollar idea, found their groove, found their purpose.  Meanwhile, I have been floundering around for most of my 20's, just trying to figure out my way through life.  And now somehow we're supposed to protect, nurture, and raise our young while we are still machete-hacking our own way through the jungle?!  How does all of that work exactly?

   I am expecting to wake up this August on my 30th birthday and have it all figured out.  After all, everyone says the 30s are the best decade.  The time when you finally break free from all the insecurity and self-doubt of your 20s, and you chase your dreams and you make it happen.  I'm counting on that being true.  

And if it isn't, please don't break my bubble.

    Well it'd be a crying shame to waste all of my precious Grandma day on a blog post rambling mostly about nothing, so that's all for now.  What are some ways you "make it happen" or follow your dreams?  I'd love to hear.