Things I Don't Understand.

5:02 PM


Here's a brief list of 6 things I don't understand (and probably never will).  Ten would have sounded cooler than six, but my kids are grumpy and I need to go make supper. So six it is.

1. How to fold a fitted sheet.
   I know, I know, there's lots of tutorials online, but I still don't know if I will ever find it within myself to A. learn and B. actually do it once I know how.  Whatever, life is too short.

2. When people are so in tune with their bodies they always know every single little thing they have ever felt or experienced, and can theorize possible causes, cures, and explanations.  
   For example: "Remember the second Tuesday of last month, when I had that cup of coffee at 2:00 in the afternoon?  Well after that I noticed I was feeling a little lightheaded and that's when I remembered, I had eaten yogurt in the past few days.  And so I just know that when I mix caffeine with dairy, I have a little reaction, and I think it's my gut health. I had noticed this for the first time when I used Coffee mate creamer in my coffee, and so I just switched brands, but then I had a little rash and so I KNEW it was something else and so then I tried switching my lotion to essential oils but then I started having headaches and so then I..........."  I am so far the opposite way it's not even funny.  I would have to have something drastic, obvious and extreme happen to me like EVERY SINGLE DAY for a month to even realize it was happening.  This is not a good thing,  I know.  Someday I will probably die from a very preventable illness simply because, I will be completely oblivious to the fact that it is even happening.

3.  People that always know their "favorite".  
   If you asked me my favorite book, movie, music, food, color, animal, etc.etc.etc. I would have to think for an embarrassing amount of time.  I'm not even sure that I could give you definitively, an answer to any of those.  I don't know if this means I am widely varied in tastes and interests, or that I am just terribly indecisive.  I can't decide.  ;)

4. Words millennials use.
 "I mean, that is like, so totes adorbs it slays me.  I can't even.  It is so on point, on fleek, like DEAD.  I mean, totally bae, am I right?  That vibe is just so authentic and real it is LIT. I'm going to plug it on my IG. Hashtag relevant!"  I just died a little inside writing all of that.

5. Big families that go skiing.
   Like, when did these kids learn how to do that?  I mean, I get the whole, "Let's try something new and go on an adventure" thing, but they had to learn sometime, right?  No one goes out there and aces the moguls on the first try. I just would love to know how one goes about teaching little ones to do that.  And I'm talking LITTLE.  Like sometimes, preschool age.  So you buy all the expensive equipment, outfits and gear, drive 3 hours, pay for the passes, spend 45 minutes getting dressed, trudge out there....and what happens when your kids don't even want to try?  It's 7:00 am and freezing cold and your kid is crying and begging to go back inside the lodge to drink hot cocoa and you're gonna....what?  Push them down the hill? Drag them by your ski pole? Carry them? I just....I have no words.

6.  Moms who wear high heels casually. 
   I love a good pair of heels as much as the next girl, but they have their time and place, am I right?!  I mean, you're at Disneyland chasing around kids for miles in 4 inch heels?! Are you going straight from there to the emergency room later?  And I'm no expert, but I'm sure your vacation in Italy walking all over the city touring museums and restaurants and shopping would be a little more enjoyable in something that doesn't make you feel like someone is stabbing your calves with tiny little ice picks.  I even saw a picture on Instagram one time of a mom pushing a full grocery cart, flanked by her little kids, and wearing killer (as in, they looked awesome and also as in, how they probably felt) heels.  Grocery shopping in heels??  I think that level of misery is what they invented marathons for.

That's all for now. Comment with something you can't understand either.  Humor me.

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