Once again, it has been awhile.

   Things have been busy around here lately, and the blog has taken a back seat.  It doesn't help matters much that for most of the time, I feel as if I could sleep for about 75% of my day, and go to bed early and get up late and still not feel quite rested.  Growing this little man is hard work!  Or maybe it's because I'm older?  Or maybe it's because I had my last baby 3 years ago and so I just don't remember?  Or maybe having them 18 months apart really is actually easier, as far as the pregnancy goes?

Yeah, I highly doubt that. :p

   We like to take a baby moon before a new member joins our little family, and you can read about our first two baby moons here and here.   But this year, with several different things factoring in, we decided to forgo a bigger trip with just the two of us, and do more of a family vacation close by.  And I LOVED IT.  I love traveling and I love getting away just as a couple, but I love family vacation so much too, that it really is a win/win either way.

   We invited some friends to go with us and we had a wonderful time at Sun river in Bend, Oregon.  We swam, rode bikes, grilled hamburgers, walked to the nearby coffee shop, and played games and watched movies after the kids were in bed.  It was a lovely, low-key, laid-back, relaxing time, just perfect for my 8-month pregnant self that really wasn't up to anything much more adventurous anyway.:)

I really didn't take a lot of pictures, but a snagged a few for Instagram.



  The last two were taken at the High Desert museum and it got me on such a wistful "Pioneer life" kick.  I mean obviously a lot of aspects of their life were SO very hard, but so very simple too, you know what I mean?  Everything revolved around survival.  If you darned socks and made soap and kept babies alive one day, that was the highest achievement any modern young mom could hope to achieve.  If you canned tomatoes and swept the floors and patched the roof and butchered the chicken and kept babies alive the next day?  Once again, gold medal of motherhood/wifehood goes to you.

Today it just feels like it is never enough.

   With social media and stay-at-home moms working practically full-time behind the scenes with Etsy shops or photography or blogging or other endeavors, it honestly feels like you could never even begin to achieve enough.  And so sometimes it makes me long for the days when nothing more was expected out of you than the sheer basics of survival.  Anyone know what I mean?

   Jocelyn wanted to be Mary Ingalls but of course I thought she should be Laura with that brown hair.  But the more I thought of it, the more I realized I really do have two daughters that resemble Mary and Laura, just in personality and with completely reversed looks.  How funny.  In any case, I think she makes a pretty darling little prairie girl.  Now if we could just go back to that time of life.....

Anyway, that is all for now.  An attempt at catching up a bit that hopefully I will be able to maintain.

  I thought briefly about making a tutorial of some kind, but let's be honest, it was pretty simple.  We just looked around on Pinterest for a tutorial that we liked (and there are tons) and we ended up using this one.  I loved it.  Simple and basic and easy-to-follow, it was just what we were looking for in our girls' dollhouse.

 
   The Big Reveal wasn't as climactic as I'd hoped it would be, but that was mostly due to a certain Mommy being too caught up in the hustle and bustle and whirlwind of Christmas activities to make sure it was covered up before shooing her kids out to the car in the garage.  And so they saw it in several stages of completion.  *covers face* But I like to think that the final product with furniture and everything was still a surprise!   Or at least they still treated it like a pretty cool present.  So, everyone wins.


  It still has some work to be done.  I need to mod podge all the wallpaper, (and change some of it while I'm at it, because I love the bright colors and the neutral ones seem too bland) and add more little details like rugs and mirrors and art, but that will all come in time.  My FAVORITE part of the whole process was most definitely making the little family......


   Remind you of anyone? ;)  I wasn't really thrilled with any of the options I was finding online, and so I just decided to make my own, wooden peg little family.  The only problem is now it is already outdated and needs a little babe.  Or at least a big ol' bump on the mama. Ha.

  What are some handmade goodies you are loving right now? I would love to hear!  Etsy shops, small businesses online, etc.  Leave a link in the comments so I can see what's inspiring you lately!

   I've been missing seeing these little faces on this blog lately...but the snotty noses and piles of tissues and house of horrors that is our life today isn't exactly a pretty picture, so we'll throw back to these pictures I caught a while back that I couldn't share until now.


I'd never been able to tell Randy in a fun way that I was pregnant.
 
   When I found out with Jocelyn he was just in the other room and I just burst through the door and blurted it out in shock and excitement.  Then with Charlotte I made up a note that said, "Shhh, Big Sister sleeping" and taped it to Jocelyn's bedroom door, but the moment he came home from work he knew I was hiding something, so I just ended up telling him then.

So THIS time, I was determined we would at least have a little fun with it.


   
   The girls helped me make cupcakes and we decorated in pink and blue and I made a little card for him and then....we waited.

   Of course, they didn't actually know the reason behind it all.  I hadn't told them and wasn't planning to until it was safe to say, but we all know how that story turns out.




We can hardly wait.

   I am sorry for all of the quiet around here lately....I really just cannot seem to get my act together these days.  This pregnancy is really taking it out of me this time.  Body, mind, emotions.

   And now the girls and I all have nasty colds, so that's a nice cherry on top right now, but honestly?  I am so thankful.  So desperately, gut-achingly thankful.  That even with the nausea, fatigue, and low blood sugar/pressure that leaves me icy cold all of the time....I am thankful.  Thankful for the life growing inside of me, and for the other precious lives in my care.  What a privilege.

Because we are not guaranteed that they always will be in our care, sick or well.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow.
We are not even guaranteed today.
And our entire lives could change in a moment.

   My dear sister-in-law Amy has already been through so much with losing her mother to cancer, and now, shortly after the anniversary of Lois' passing, Amy's sister Heidi has lost her 5-yr-old daughter.

  My heart is broken for them and all of their family as they must be just grasping for shafts of light through all of this darkness right now.  I truly cannot even begin to imagine.

   I was lying in the semi-darkness next to Randy the other morning as the sun rose and he said quietly, "I want to never forget that.  I want to never, ever forget that right now, some parents are waking up without their 5-yr-old daughter.  I think that will keep my problems in perspective."

And he couldn't be more right.

   What can I do but breathe thanks to Jesus for every day, every hour, every MOMENT that I am gifted with the ones that I love?

I think I'll start today, sick or not.

 

  I hope I never take for granted, even for a moment, family that will drop everything and help you.  We are blessed by wonderful family on both sides, and what a rich and precious gift that is.

   On one of the evenings my mom was here she let Randy and I go out for a date and we ended up at a coffee shop where I saw a couple with two little girls about our daughters' ages, and so I commented on them and the mom immediately asked me, "Where do you find babysitting?"

   I replied that they were staying with my mom, and she went on to say how difficult it is to find any babysitting and even when they can find someone through an online company, the rates are quite high.  Not to mention you don't even really KNOW those people.  They don't have family around, and there aren't really any options at their church and so they were left with pretty much nothing.

   A young woman sitting on the other side of the fireplace knitting fingerless gloves chimed in our conversation with, "We don't really have family as an option either.   Well, they don't live far away, but they are just not....well.....healthy enough to leave our children with."

   And she said it in an embarrassed sort of way with eye rolling and deep sighs that made it seem as if "health" was more of an addiction, or other issue that they were not comfortable with that was present, prohibiting them from being active in their grandchildren's lives.

It was all so very, very sad.


I felt so convicted.

  I love all of my family, both by blood and by marriage, but oftentimes I find myself bemoaning the fact that we don't live closer, or that we aren't closer relationally, or that we don't get together nearly as much as some other families.  And then I hear these women sharing about how they have NO one in their life to count on, NO ONE to surround them and support them in the raising of their children and the building of their home and I shudder to think that I could ever be anything less than grateful.


   There is a lot of turmoil going on right now for my mom with church issues, raising teenagers, and her job as an Amish midwife's assistant.  And if you choked on that last sentence, TRUST ME, it is another story (or multiple stories) for another time.

   There is much we don't agree on, and much we can't ever seem to understand each other about.  But she is still my Mom.  And I love her.  And I am desperately grateful, that she cares enough about us to take time from her busy life, and come visit.

   She always comes swooping in with elbows flying, dusting and sweeping and cleaning and showing love as she best knows how, Gifts of Service.  She takes the time to rescue the parts of my home and life that are falling into chaos, even when she is stretched thin herself.

And I hope one day to be that lifeline for my girls as well.

It's finally happening.

   Ever since we found out we were having another baby girl when I was pregnant with Charlotte, I've dreamed of this moment.  Of unprompted, spontaneous, love and genuine friendship between my two girls.

   The other day I came upon them playing like this and Jocelyn was singing the "I like you just the way you are" song from Daniel Tiger to Charlotte, while putting her arm around her, kissing her, and hugging her close.  It was one of those moments when your heart lodges in your throat and you want to freeze it for all of eternity.  And not logged away deep in the recesses of your mind-files but within reach, so at any moment you can snatch it back from history and replay it over and over.

Anne Shirley and Diana Berry.
Sherlock and Watson.
Elsa and Anna.
Pooh and Piglet.
Tom and Huck.

   I just want them to be buddies, ya know?  Obviously, they're sisters.  They're already part of each other's lives and worlds and families for life, whether they want to be or not.  But I just want them to WANT that.  I want them to desire to grow closer.  To want to know each other better and deeper and more intimately than they did they day before.  I don't want them to just accept the fact that they are family, I want them to want more.  I want them to want a relationship.

I want them to share secrets.
Make each other laugh.
Get each other's jokes and try to understand each other's weird idiosyncrasies.

   I want them to be each other's biggest fan, protector, confidant, and friend.  And all the while I'm dreaming of this, I know that it isn't guaranteed.  Life remains a mystery and sometimes people born to the same parents are two very different people.  Different personalities, different tastes, different thoughts, different lives.

And that's OK.

   But my hope and prayer for them is that they can somehow manage to cultivate a special friendship in SPITE of their differences.  I'm not asking them to be the same.  I'm asking them to love each other all the while being different from each other.

   It's already so obvious to me that they were not made from a mold.  They have differences and unique quality traits and characteristics, and it's so fascinating to me to watch their little personalities unfold.  I hope that I never squander that, discourage that, or compare them with one another.

I hope I let them be uniquely them, and I hope they offer the same grace to each other.

God sure knew what he was doing when He put Randy and I together.

  Not only do we make beautiful babies, (biased, but still) but I think that I would end up going a little bit stir-crazy with anyone else.  I need a little spontaneity in my life to keep things running smoothly.  I need a little "Hey let's go _____" in my day-to-day.  And Randy is SO good at that.

   The pictures from yesterday's post of us hiking was one such last-minute plan of his.  It was on a Sunday morning, one that dawned bright and beautiful and a little extra crazy.  We needed to leave even earlier because I was singing  and Randy teaches Sunday school and things are always a bit of a whirlwind at our house on that day.  But the weather was already warming up to be one of those days you knew was just going to be breathtaking.

   I'm always a little bit wistful when I remember Sunday afternoons with my family and friends, going on long bike rides and Ultimate Frisbee in the park......no one does any of that around here.  I'm pretty sure everyone just goes home from church and takes a long nap.

   But on that particular Sunday, Randy said, "How about a hike after church?"  And I couldn't say yes fast enough.  We threw a picnic lunch together and extra clothes in the car and it ended up being so perfect and beautiful and just what we needed.  The last minute camping trip was his idea too.  So many good ideas in that head of his, I tell you.

   And so when he came home from work one evening and said, "Let's walk down to the park and grill hotdogs" I said, (of course) "Yes!"





   The girls loved it and I am just so thankful for the little time we had together.  He always comes home from work dirty and tired and I'm sure feels like crashing on the couch and doing little else.  But I'm so blessed that he takes time for them, and he takes time for me, and we all benefit because of it.

  Summer is so precious, so short, and so fleeting, that I've learned when I try to plan it all out and squeeze every last drop of it, it just becomes stressful in a hurry. My friend Nicole wrote over here about that very thing....forsaking the bucket list in lieu of living slow and thankful.  And I love it!  I've never been a huge fan of bucket lists.  SO. MUCH. PRESSURE.

   Plus I'm really unorganized and inconsistent and function best when I fly by the seat of my pants, and so bucket lists sound to me like an excellent way for me to feel like I'm constantly falling behind and just a basic failure in general.  No thanks.


   With fall right around the corner, I'm so glad we've said "yes" to the little summer opportunities that have come our way.  When the rain comes and keeps us all inside for far too long I know we will be thinking back on all of it with extra fond memories.  (p.s. photo by Jocelyn)

What spontaneous things have you been saying yes to this summer?  I'd love to hear.

 
   I see all over Pinterest these lists and lists and lists of things you need while camping with kids.  And while I will admit it's a whole different ball park if you're taking a tiny baby, if your kids are similar to the ages of mine, then the SIMPLER THE BETTER.

Apart from the basic staples like a tent and food, you need pretty much 5 things:

1. Clothes (several changes for getting wet, sandy, etc. and sets for both hot and cold).
2. Blankets (and plenty of them).
3. Potty chair (saves you from the dreaded port-a-potty).
4. Baby wipes and hand sanitizer (obviously).
5. Diapers.

  Skip the entrainment, toys, games and books.  They're usually content with something as simple as going on a walk or throwing rocks into the water.  You're outside, after all, the world's their oyster.  And I didn't even take things like toothbrushes and a hair brush and all that jazz.  It was only going to be for one night and I just made sure I braided their hair real good so it wouldn't need to be done again.  Gross? Grungy? Great? You decide.

   We took sunscreen and bug spray and didn't use either one.  So you don't need those either, I would say.  I bought them little flashlights that they never used too.  So like a broken record here, simpler is better.



  I kept the food as basic as things could possibly even be, eggs in tortillas for breakfast and hotdogs, potato salad, beans, watermelon and s'mores for supper.  We all ate good and had full tummies, and the girls gobbled everything down and didn't complain.  I'm telling you, keep it simple!  You'll thank me later.


   The next morning we went hiking, and I guess I DO wish we would've had some sort of fancy schmancy hiking pack to carry Charlotte in, but we didn't, and we survived.  Jocelyn was a trooper, hiking most of the way, and when she needed a break, I carried Charlotte and Randy carried her.  We kept it short and manageable and only hiked a couple miles.  And being the neglectful mother that I am, somehow the only footwear in Jocelyn's possession right now are sandals, church shoes and rain boots, and so she hiked in flip-flops.  Someone needs to get that poor girl a pair of tennis shoes for goodness sakes.





   Oregon never ceases to amaze me with its breathtaking beauty.  I mean seriously you'd think I would be used to it by now.  I've been to this exact lookout before, seen this coastline, walked beneath the trees, gazed out across the sea.......but nope.  Still gets me every time.

   After our hike we took our tired legs to relax on the beach.  The sun smiled down on us and they just loved playing in the sand.  I may or may not have dozed on a blanket like the awesome, fun mom that I am while Randy kept them entertained.  Thank God for daddies.




    If you would have told me a few years ago that one day I would go on a camping trip with my husband and two small children and later say (and I actually did say this) "I think that was one of the best weekends of my life".  I wouldn't have believed you.  But it's true, it ranks right up there with the other best times of my life.

   It truly was the little things....watching the girls tackle Randy in the tent, roasting marshmallows from a stick carved by a caring neighbor,  seeing them loosen up around animals and even *gasp* pet a few puppies, watching them talk animatedly about things like "hiking" and "the beach" and "camping" and just hoping that somehow, somehow this will be one of those moments that freezes in their little memories.......the kind of memory that you can still see, smell and taste years and years later.  I just loved every minute of it.

And yes, it was work and no, it was not perfect, but it was delightful.

  I guess they aren't the only ones growing up.  For a long time I felt like I always needed to be around a lot of people to be happy.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but for most of my life, staying at home with my family never sounded as appealing to me as a good party.  I wanted to be wherever the action was, and with whomever that meant.

   I would jump from group to group of friends, always restless and skittish of putting down roots.  I wanted the freedom to be able to fluidly morph and meld into whomever I wanted to be at the time, and whatever group of people kept my attention.  So the thought of sitting at home with a husband and children never sounded quite as exciting or thrilling as the thought of traveling, meeting new people, making new friends, and living life as One Big Party.