God, Husband, and then the rest.

8:47 PM

 
   Today has been a day for dancing.  Twirling around and around and showing off my horrible dance moves where thankfully, no one can see but little Joss.  And yes, I did just spell that differently.  I'm still trying to figure out how I want to spell my daughter's nickname. And she's over one year old.  Indecision has always been one of my weaknesses.

   The reason for all the dancing, and story reading,  extra snuggles, and smothering hugs and kisses is because in a week and a half, Randy and I will be on our way down to sunny Californ-I-A, and leaving our little Jossie behind.  Part of me is very much looking forward to spending some quality time together, just the two of us, and part of me knows I will miss the little stinker like I would miss a limb.  Or vital organ.

   Nevertheless, something I am very passionate about, and am willing to prioritize, is couples still spending quality time together without their children.  You may disagree, and that is quite fine, but this is my personal belief. Some people think that they need to put their children first, because they want what's best for them.   Well, I think that the best thing you can do for your children is give them a loving marriage to grow up around. 


They need to see you kiss.  And not just those quick, "Hi-how-was-your-day-I-barely-know-you" pecks either.
They need to see you laugh together.
Work hard together.
Pray together.
Really talk and really listen to each other.
Support each other.
Hug.
Tease.
   They need to know that Mommy will always respect Daddy,  and that Daddy thinks the world of Mommy.  They need to grow up, not just hearing these things, but seeing them.  They need to be visual, physical, tangible.  These are the things that give their lives security, more than any teddy or blanket in the whole world could ever do.  Or even attention from Mommy or Daddy.  Yes, I said it. These are the moments that start to form their perspectives on love, relationships, faithfulness, commitment, and devotion.  And yes, on marriage, but more than just that...it can also affect how they will approach their relationship with Jesus.


It is beyond important.  It is necessary and positively crucial for LIFE, LOVE, and happiness. 

So yes, you could say I'm passionate about this.  Borderline crazy.

   Nothing saddens me more when I see couples abandon, neglect, and forgo time alone together, because, well, "We have kids now."  As if there was this blissful, delightful relationship once upon a time, and along came a precious little baby and ruined it.  What child wants to grow up with that vibe?  That they came between Mommy and Daddy, and now there's a big, gaping, hole with their name on it, where Mommy and Daddy's date nights used to be.

Sorry folks, not happening with this couple. 

   Wow, that was a rabbit trail!  I really wasn't even planning on talking about any of that.  I started out fully intending to post about Jossie's birthday, but then this all came spilling out.  So her birthday post will have to wait until another day.

  So you moms out there, go put your kids to bed and then have a little snuggle-time with the hubs.  It's probably long over-due.

Sweet dreams.:)


***Photography by Brandon Baker

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27 comments

  1. Agreed!!!!! I am so saddened by the lack of mommy and daddy romance that I see these days, and how children are put up higher than their relationship and in my opinion that is not how God ordained it and it's just wrong!! Great post! I plan on passing this on if it's alright with you.
    -LaDonna Nice

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    1. I am saddened by that too. At least we can keep the fire alive in ours! :) And feel free to pass it on, I'd be honored.

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  2. Applause and Amens from me.
    The photos are amazing too.

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    1. Thanks Dorcas! You are so encouraging.

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  3. amen and amen! (and then that times 100!) i cant even tell you the difference between our girls dispositions when G and i aren`t (in their eyes) getting along. when they see us snuggle and kiss= fairy tale eyes. :)
    i also though- think it`s really important to be "real" in front of your children and let them see the real ups and down parts of marriage. yes, we fight in front of our children and then we say, "it`s ok. mommy and daddy LOVE each other SO much- we are just talking about things we don`t agree on."
    i so bless your passion for marriage... and a radiant one too! it made my day happier. :)
    GOD BLESS!
    PS. oh and really super gorgeous family pictures!

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    1. I agree--very important to be real and not fake around children. They will see through it anyways! If anything, I will be far TOO real around them. :p Thanks for the kind words, you're so encouraging!

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  4. I think this is wonderfully said, Shelley, and something I fully intend to keep alive in my upcoming marriage. Your little family in the orchard is beautiful!

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    1. Thanks Ervina! And I'm quite sure you will make a wonderful wife!

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  5. your photos turned out so incredibly amazing. hope you don't mind but i'm linking to this post on sunday for my Weekend Love post.

    you are amazing.

    xoxo

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    1. I'd be honored to be linked! Thanks dear, you are too kind!

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  6. I agree and that is something I feel is so important for us and we plan to really work on that after we have kids too!!!! Have fun in CA... love that place ;-) Jerin
    (p.s. my sisters name is Jocelyn and we spell her nickname Joc...)

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    1. Blessings as you navigate the wonderful new world of parenthood soon!!

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  7. Excellent post, Shelley! Life is about keeping our relationships in the order they belong: God, Marriage, Children, Friends.
    We went on a cruise for a week when Wyatt was 11 months old. Loren really wanted to go and although I never could've imagined it, it was good for me to leave the boys. I missed them like CRAZY but what it did for our marriage was priceless!
    Have a most wonderful trip to California. I applaud you both!

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    1. I agree, it may be hard, but the ways it will bless your marriage make it WORTH it!

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  8. What a great post, Shelley!!! YOU need to be a writer for families... My favorite part was when you said "the thing that came between mommy and daddy..."

    You are SO right!!! I am coming to you about parenting advice whenever that day comes. Be prepared. ;)

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    1. Blessings on you Libby, you're so uplifting.:) I'd love to be a writer. Maybe someday.

      Come to me anytime you wish for advice! Not sure I'll be able to give anything great, but you are welcome to still come!:)

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  9. Where in California are you going?

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  10. This is an absolutely wonderful, wonderful post. I love your passion for marriage, and that is clearly seen through your writings and pictures! And I agree wholeheartedly with you... Yes, it takes a lot more effort to do things alone, but it is SO worth the added effort!

    I hope your vacation is all your wish it to be and more!

    Annnnnnd, your family pictures are phenomenal. Love the setting, and I love your hair!!

    Thanks for the inspiration and the added spark in my evening!

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    1. Thanks for all the kind words Clarita, it means alot coming from a lovely lady as yourself!

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  11. I have always written it "Jossi", and since I'm an opinionated salt, I'll stick to it.

    Mom and Dad unashamedly report that the best years of their marriage were the three years before they had kids. :D Makes us feel nice, right? But I totally agree with you. In fact, you may feel welcome to ship Jossi to me while you and Randy date each other.

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    1. Yeah I hope that I can say "The best years years of our marriage are...the ones yet to come cuz they keep getting better." :p cheesy, I know.

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  12. beautiful pictures and wonderful, true post!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and reading, Briana!

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  13. Amen! You totally took the words out of my mouth.

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  14. A high school friend of mine went by 'Jocie'; that's another option :)

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  15. I realize I'm commenting on older blogs & you may never see them.but I just found your blog not too long ago & I've been reading them for probably the last 2hrs.:)(the babies are in bed for the night & hubs is out of town for a funeral)I may have to share this one,a subject so dear to my heart.but one I often fail to put into practice.thank you for the inspiration! & the family photos are gorgeous!

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