They roll up their sleeves and dive in.

   Armed with cute little aprons and great determination, they set out to help me make dinner.  And although adorable, this mini kitchen crew effort usually results in one, giant mess.

   The ingredients rarely end up precisely where they should, and often a few extra ingredients are thrown in.  The sugar spills and creates a crunchy, sticky film that immediately attracts the ants, and their little hands, so determined to get those dishes sparkly clean, slosh sudsy water up and over the sides of the sink and into puddles onto the floor.  Eggs crack and ooze, flour dusts every surface and little buttery fingerprints leave their mark on the cupboards.

   And let's be honest, often (o.k. basically all of the time) I am tired and impatient and I just want to get the marathon of dinner prep and clean up done and over with as quickly as possible so I can enjoy my cup of coffee in peace.  I want to chase my little ones into a different room and focus on my work and not have mini people at my heels.

But when I posted this image last night to Instagram, this was part of my caption....

   "I told myself a long time ago that I would try my hardest to never say no to help of any kind.  Changing a diaper, sweeping, cooking...I want them to grow up with memories of our entire home being accessible to them.  A place they were wanted and needed and capable of helping.  Because let's be honest....we all want our teenagers to help but if you only start then it's usually too late."  

 I'm not sure many things frustrate me more than when I hear mothers venting about how their teenagers/young adults won't do anything to help out around the house, but then you take a little jog down memory lane and find that these are the same mothers who wouldn't ever let their children do anything, for fear of them doing it wrong.

  I know of a middle aged mom today who struggles with letting her elderly mother help her with anything, because she doesn't have any fond memories of the reverse.....when she was the child, helping HER mom.

   Think of it......if I chase them out of the kitchen and keep them an arm's length away from all of my projects and to-dos until the day I DO want them to help, they will have no interest in that.  And why would they?  They would have no childhood memories of me praising them for a job well done or thanking them for all the wonderful help they give me, even if the truth looks more like a giant mess and MORE work for me.

   And looking even beyond that, what about when I have gray hair (and hopefully, lots of smile wrinkles) and I desperately want to help them in their own homes?  Decorating, cooking, cleaning,.....but none of my children want me anywhere near their kitchen.  Why?  Because I never allowed them to be part of mine.

    And so I write this, because I want to freeze this moment and use it to remind myself, over and over again, when I'm tired, when I'm weary, to choose the better thing.  When the laundry is so neatly folded and I just want to be DONE and those tiny voice offer to help put some away?  Let them.  Sure, a few piles will end up on the floor.  Sure, the towels will not be re-folded the right way.  But you will rest easy that night, knowing that you invested in your future.  Because you invested in them.

   And they will walk away from that experience, with no memory whatsoever of the dropped socks and panties trailing behind them, but with a glowing sense of pride that they helped mama.   They were needed.  Capable.  Qualified.  Worthy.  Desired.  Valuable.

And I never want to forget it.


 

   I am sorry for all of the quiet around here lately....I really just cannot seem to get my act together these days.  This pregnancy is really taking it out of me this time.  Body, mind, emotions.

   And now the girls and I all have nasty colds, so that's a nice cherry on top right now, but honestly?  I am so thankful.  So desperately, gut-achingly thankful.  That even with the nausea, fatigue, and low blood sugar/pressure that leaves me icy cold all of the time....I am thankful.  Thankful for the life growing inside of me, and for the other precious lives in my care.  What a privilege.

Because we are not guaranteed that they always will be in our care, sick or well.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow.
We are not even guaranteed today.
And our entire lives could change in a moment.

   My dear sister-in-law Amy has already been through so much with losing her mother to cancer, and now, shortly after the anniversary of Lois' passing, Amy's sister Heidi has lost her 5-yr-old daughter.

  My heart is broken for them and all of their family as they must be just grasping for shafts of light through all of this darkness right now.  I truly cannot even begin to imagine.

   I was lying in the semi-darkness next to Randy the other morning as the sun rose and he said quietly, "I want to never forget that.  I want to never, ever forget that right now, some parents are waking up without their 5-yr-old daughter.  I think that will keep my problems in perspective."

And he couldn't be more right.

   What can I do but breathe thanks to Jesus for every day, every hour, every MOMENT that I am gifted with the ones that I love?

I think I'll start today, sick or not.

 

Day 4 of Blogtember is here, and the prompt is:  Share a story about a time you were very afraid.

   Unlike yesterday's prompt about good advice that left my brain feeling like jello, I know exactly what I'm going to write about this time around.  There's no question really, as I have recently had the most terrifying experience of my entire life, and so it's pretty hard to top that.

    Two weekends ago, we were at our pastor's house for a pool party with the youth group.  It was one of those warm Oregon summer evenings, the water was perfect, and the sun was setting over the pond in their backyard as the smell of grilling hotdogs filled the air.

It was pretty perfect, actually.



    Brandon (assistant pastor) and his wife Cindy are also youth leaders, and it's so fun to have other kids our girls' ages at youth events.  We took turns taking them out in the paddle boat and were only a bit nervous a time or two about all those little ones being close to the water, but everyone had life jackets on so I really wasn't that worried at all.  Besides, it's just not my nature to worry.  I am one of the least "helicopter-type" moms in existence.  See this dock right beside the paddle boat?  I was letting Charlotte crawl all over it, knowing that I was just an arm's length away from grabbing her if I needed to. 

   After we were done swimming, paddle boating, and eating our hot dogs, we changed the kids out of their dripping suits and into cozy pajamas, and the men covered the pool.  We were sitting down to roast some marshmallows when it happened......Jocelyn fell in the pool.

   I can't be sure, but I THINK she knows enough to not just walk off the deep end into the water.  But I guess the cover made it seem like she should be able to walk across?  I don't know.  All I know is she was at the deep end of the pool by the diving board, Randy was a lifetime away at the opposite end, and I was about halfway between, sitting on a chair holding Charlotte and probably doing something stupid with my phone.  We both looked up to see it happen.  Jocelyn with her damp, curly ponytail and striped pink p.j.'s that say "Dad and Mom (heart) me"  took two small steps and disappeared.

   I don't think I have to go into detail to describe that sledge hammer feeling of your heart thudding down into the pit of your stomach so hard, it stops beating for a few moments.  

Because A. if you haven't experienced it before, it's impossible to explain.

And B. if you have, then you already know what it feels like. 

   Randy took two leaps and dove into the water, fully clothed and iPhone in his pocket.  I'm still not sure how, but he reached her before I did, and raised her up to me and I pulled her out and clutched her to me as she took her frantic, sobbing breaths.

   I know, I know, some kids her age are probably already used to going under and maybe you even advocate throwing them in to learn that.  But this was different.  The pool was covered, she had her pajamas on, we weren't prepared, and for those awful, short moments it felt like she was drowning.  It was the most heart-wrenching 10-15 seconds of our lives, and I pray I will never have to experience that sensation again.

    I took her to change into some dry clothes and fought back the tears of relief.  Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Jesus for not asking me to walk that road.  She was shaken, crying for her daddy and talking on and on about how she "Took a drink of water".



   The twins were awfully sweet, both so worried about what happened and asking where Jocelyn was and how she was doing.   When she returned they gave her hugs and we all breathed deep sighs and held our children a little tighter around the campfire that night.

   The whole experience was awful.  Every parent's nightmare.  But in some small, teeny, tiny way I am thankful for it, because it made the magic of having her near wash over me anew again.  I tucked her into bed that night just brimming with gratitude.  She is a gift.  That's just what they are, gifts.  Not prizes earned, not products manufactured, not artifacts discovered.....they're just gifts.  Precious, irreplaceable gifts placed within our care for a time, and that is all.

How lucky are we?

How lucky, how blessed to be a caretaker of gifts straight from Heaven above.

  





   

   Recently I noticed that my girls didn't seem to be very interested in art. Well, Jocelyn anyway.  I guess Charlotte still is a little young. Anyway, I couldn't figure out a good reason why, but then I realized that art wasn't very accessible.  They would have had to ask for things first, (if they would have even known what to ask for) and then I would have had to round up the supplies, and then help them with it, and to be honest that just wasn't going to happen very often. 

  Enter, the art corner!  A small space that can be set up for all their crafting/creating needs, and needs little supervision from me.  Of course it needs some, as there are beads to swallow and markers to eat, (and that's not just a metaphor, Charlotte truly eats markers) but that is time I should be taking to play with them anyways, and now that play can be just a little more structured.   All of the supplies can be found at a Dollar General, and so what you see there cost a measly $10.




   And the girls aren't the only ones getting in on the fun, their little arty party got me inspired, and I decided to try my hand at some sketching.  I chose this photo of Randy and I when I was pregnant with Jocelyn, and it will always be one of my all-time favorite photos.  I can't wait to do a collage and add some sketches to the mix!  You truly never know what you may find you can do, or will enjoy until you try it.

   So my challenge to you today, is to go see if you can't create something in your little corner of the world. 

And embrace the mess.
 

   Sometimes I'm a little late to my New Year's Resolutions.  As in, making them in February.  But January is still so hectic with the dust settling from Christmas, and New Year's parties and so on, and there's all this pressure to quickhurryupfastrightnow choose your resolutions and start them, and sometimes I need to let my head stop spinning and clear up a bit, and then a new one comes to me.

Like this one.....GET IN THE PICTURES WITH YOUR KIDS.

   We all like taking a ba-jillion pictures of our kids, and with good reason.  They change/grow so quickly and we need to capture these moments while we can, and they are going to cherish them later.  But I remember as a child just LOVING looking through old photo albums that had pictures of our parents.  The ones of us kids were fun to look at too, but whenever I saw one of Dad and Mom, I just sort of stopped, and stared.  I loved taking it all in....the ebony waves of her hair, the sandy brown waves of his, the dark, doe-brown eyes of Mom, Dad's striking green, the dress she was wearing, the muscle tee on him, the dishes she was washing, the way he carried my sister and I around on his shoulders....whatever it was, it captured them in that moment, and that is something that otherwise I would never really get to witness.  Because when our parents are young, well, we're babies.  So we don't get to experience that part of them unless it is through pictures.  So preserve those moments for yourself, but also for your children who will one day be so glad you did.

End rant.

   Yesterday we had an unseasonably beautiful day, and the girls and I went outside for some fresh air.  And yes, the grass truly is that green, folks.  I didn't even touch the saturation on most of these! Just a gorgeous, breathtaking January day.  We even went for a little bike ride.  O.k. I'll stop making you all jealous.




    Jocelyn's been doing this strange, bizarro thing lately where when you go to kiss her, she tries to lick you.  Odd, and quite surprising, I will say.  Little stinker.


    Charlotte didn't do much but lay on her blanket looking cute.  Which I must say she did quite well.



    What?!  One of the three of us together?  Unheard of!  Impossible!  Miracle of miracles!  And....a little fuzzy.  Can't win 'em all.


    One thing I do love about our place is the gorgeous trees.   Call me picky, but that is always one of my "must-haves" when looking at places to live.  O.k. so it's not a deal-breaker, but I'd always prefer for it to have old, stately-looking trees, if at all possible. 



    Look who's standing up!  This little muncher is sooo strong.  Jocelyn at this age would barely even lift her head much when you laid her on her tummy.  I am preparing myself for an early walker.


And one with Uncle Shelby, who was the photographer for a lot of these.

   So, that being said, I know first hand how HARD it is to get pictures of yourself with the kids.  You have a million opportunities to snap ones of them, but not so much ones of you all together.  It's hard to get them to hold still for one thing, much less prop up a camera on some rickety contraption and set the timer and manage to miraculously get everyone looking for one moment in time.

   Obviously, the easiest/best solution is to have a professional photographer at your beck and call.  But since most of us don't (with the exception of a few that are married to one, lucky ducks) we have to come up with something else.  Like a friend, spouse, or brother to take the pictures for you.  In this instance, I used the latter and we had a marvelous time.  Shelby was so kind to indulge me in a mini photoshoot and I finally got some pictures of me and the girls.  It had been TOO long.  And you don't have to travel far at all!  These were just taken in our back yard.

  So  that is my inspiration for all you mommies today....get IN the picture.  And aren't you glad times have changed from this, when the mother didn't want to be in the picture?  Those poor kids....I'd bet they'd love to look back and see what their moms looked like then.  So bizarre.  P.S., that is a really interesting post, but I'm not personally endorsing that blog because of her EXTREME liberal views.  In fact, it makes me so steaming mad sometimes when she talks about abortion or politics that I can hardly see straight, but then I figured it's actually good to read something out of my little personal bubble of beliefs, so that I can know how to address/ respond to issues with non-believers.  Another bunny trail....

With that, I will sign off.  It's the weekend everyone!!! Hope you have a great one. 

Time marches on.

   Wasn't it yesterday that I was staring in disbelief at that little pink line that meant a human was growing inside of me for the very first time?!  Who was I to think I could be a mother?  I was never one of those 16-year olds that scurried around church looking for a baby to hold.  I didn't just l-o-o-o-o-o-ve babies like some girls do.  I didn't dislike them, I just liked other things better.

    And now somehow, here I am, with a two year old, and a 6-month old.  Can it be?  Sometimes I look at them together and just shake my head thinking, "Do those really belong to me?" This is craziness. And since I'm a little overdue on their 2-yr and 6-month updates, we will do those now. 

Jocelyn
    Her most recent favorite activity is "tea party".  As I type (and nurse) she is bustling around her little table and chairs, pouring tea, arranging fake food and letting her imagination run wild.  I love it.

  I think I can now say she is officially potty-trained. During the day. She is doing wonderfully and rarely has an accident, but her mama chickened out and is doing diapers at nap time and night.  I started out doing underwear only, and she woke up a few times from a nap dry, so I know she can do it, but I just did not feel the motivation to stick with it through such a busy holiday season.  Now that the holidays are over, I am ready to start thinking about it again.  I still think if I had stuck with the panties-only thing, it would have worked.  As soon as she wakes up, she doesn't go in her diaper.  Even if I'm busy and leave it on for a while, she asks to go potty in the potty.  So maybe I will have to test my "all-or-nothing" theory out with Charlotte.:)
    Ever since the play, Jocelyn has been all about Mary.  She points to every Biblical figure in a storybook, nativity scene, poster, etc.  that looks somewhat close to Mary and shouts, "Mary!"  She even called me Mary for a while, and I think she thought that's what my name was. We corrected her, and now she likes to call me Shelley.  There is something so stinkin' cute about her little voice saying my name, but I'd rather go by mama, thank you very much.
  She truly loves her sister, and has started playing so much nicer with Charlotte. I am thrilled.  This week for the first time I have even been able to leave them together, alone, in their room, as Charlotte plays on the floor with toys, and Jocelyn is busy with her own activities.  Not quite playing "together" yet, but happily co-existing is plenty for me. 

 She is going to be my big helper, I can already tell.  She is hardly ever more pleased than when I let her measure ingredients for me, load laundry into the dryer, sweep the floor, or dust with a rag.   Those are some of her favorite things to 'play'.

 She is still sleeping in her crib, and I want to prolong  switching to a toddler bed as long as I possibly can, because naptime and bedtime is so easy right now.  We do her routine of stories, prayers, brushing teeth, etc. and lay her down and she talks happily to herself and her toys until falling asleep.  I really need to transition them soon as Charlotte is getting too big for her cradle, but I don't want to yet!  Any advice for making that transition go smoothly?

 Of course she is not perfect, and we have quite a few things we are working on right now.  For example, don't ride your sister like a pony, and don't eat the clay Mary figurine, even if she is your favorite......................


   It's nice to hug, but it is not so nice to hug and squeeze and tackle and squish.  This goes for sisters AND friends.  And strangers at the library. Sigh.  And pouting is not becoming to a lady.

 But even less becoming, are full-out fits.
   But in spite of all her areas that need improvement, I refuse to fall prey to the "Terrible Twos" mentality.  I think the reason they seem so "terrible" is because they are morphing from basically a baby into a little person who suddenly wants to explore, investigate, taste, feel and experience everything, all at once.  That desire to learn and that budding curiosity is something I think we can extinguish, if we're not careful.  We can create fear, worry, distrust and anxiety in a child, when I believe it is more natural at first to be fearless and brave.  And so I am determined to approach this time as a great threshold for learning and opportunity and not wave it off as the "Terrible twos" and throw my hands in the air in despair.  I actually really cringe whenever I hear someone refer to this age that way.

Charlotte
   Is 6 months old! *confetti* *cheers*  Each time with a baby I feel as if I round a giant corner at 6 months.  Raising an infant 0-6 is climbing Mt Everest, and 6-12 months is the way back down.  I always feel my subconscious heaving a great sigh of relief as if to say, "We made it.  We did it.  You are still in one piece.  Take a moment and celebrate your survival."  And I am SO happy to be here, where I am right now, and not 5 months ago. :)
 Charli has two teeth! Did I say that one last time?  I can't remember. She's had them for a while.  She occasionally tries to test them out on me, but realizes her mistake pretty quickly.

  She has also started solid foods, but I am taking it REALLY slow as she is extremely prone to constipation.  Any suggestions of helping that?  Other than prune juice and Karo syrup?  Jocelyn struggled with it terribly too.

   Her most recent acquired skill is crawling!!!  She sort of army crawls and pulls herself by her arms and scoots all over the place.  That counts, right?  She is fascinated with toys, dolls, and crinkly things, and can entertain herself happily for quite some time.  Still working on sitting up though, not quite there yet.

   Holy blue eyes!  Those continue to take me by surprise.  She is more vocal than I remember Jocelyn being, and babbles to herself quite a bit.  And talks to us too, for that matter.  Sometimes she can sound quite demanding with her little "words" even without crying, and I find that so cute.  I'm sure I won't forever, but for now, it's definitely sweet.:)

    Mama likes to match her two little girlies, and occasionally, gets in on the fun herself.  Poor Daddy feels like he lives in a zoo sometimes with all the animal print going on around here.  On second thought, maybe he just feels left out 'cuz he doesn't have any.....I'll have to work on that. ;)

   Well I must run.  Duty calls, and my Little Miss needs some Mommy time!  Hope you're all gearing up for a fabulous weekend.

P.S.  I know, I know those tabs on the side aren't working yet. That is totally my fault, and totally something I will (hopefully soon) remedy.  In the meantime, I hope it doesn't bother anyone too much!  This blog is a work in progress.:)