I truly, honestly wish the 20-week ultrasound wasn't mandatory.

   Because then I would just simply choose to not have an ultrasound, and consequently, not have to be in laborious dilemma over whether or not to find out what we are having!

   It seemed so simple with our first.  Neither of us wanted to know, and so we didn't find out.  I had a gender-neutral shower, we prepared a gender-neutral nursery room, we picked two names and we were set.  No big deal.  During labor it definitely felt like motivation to FINALLY find out who this little person was, but I have to admit, I thought the moment she was born would be a little more monumental.  I expected it to be all like "What is it??! What did we have??!" but in reality I lifted her up onto my chest and before I even "looked" I knew she was my girl.  Literally, right away. When they announced, "It's a girl!" It just kinda felt like, "Yeah, I know."  I still don't know why/how I knew, but it's kind of a sweet memory.

   The second one came along and Randy really wanted to know, so I caved and we found out.  I was surprised at how much fun it was to know!  I began dreaming of sisters and the bond they would share, I set to organizing all of my girl things for girl #2, and we only had to pick one name.  And if you over-obsess with names like me, that little bonus right there makes it ALL worth it.

   But then the third pregnancy came along, and suddenly I felt a sort of unexplained, primal, desperate urgency to NOT FIND OUT.  I can't even really explain it...when I try to break it down into rational reasons, those reasons fall apart one by one.  The practicality of knowing the gender wins out every time.

  Knowing decreases our name-choosing burdens by 50%, eases in the nesting phase of readying the little outfits and nursery decor, it gives an enhanced sense of bonding to the un-born baby because it now has a gender and a name, and aids in any gift-giving that people may feel so led to do.  Especially if it's a boy, as we have maybe like, 2 boy things in this entire house.  (Case in point, the above pic! I have zero boy's pants.) Over-all, it makes 100% logical sense to find out.

  But like I said, strange, unexplained urge to not know.  I was even at the ultrasound and had the self-discipline to LOOK AWAY from the monitor when they got into the little "gender region" which I then had them write on a little card, (for the sake of my dear husband) which I carried all the way home, and still haven't looked at yet.

   Some would equate the desire with not wanting to know with a desire to do things "all naturally" and "as they once were".  Well, that's not necessarily true, because men weren't even allowed in the delivery room at one point, and obviously, we want no part of that.  Modern medicine back in that time fell just short of American Horror Story, and so I don't think any of us are anxious to actually go running back there.  However.....

The gender dispute remains.

  Personally, I think it was so much easier when we didn't have a choice.  You just sat in your rocker and knitted little, white caps and booties, and no one even dreamt of anything different.  But today, since you do have a choice, people view it as almost a personal offense if you choose not to find out.  You appear stubborn, irrational, and just a little bit crazy that you would willingly choose to not know what you're having until you actually have it.

   But before you think I'm all on-board the mystery train, I have to say something for the other side.  FINDING OUT IS OK.  It's not wrong.  And it's actually pretty fun too!  The encampment over on the "not-finding-out" shores can make almost a semi-religion out of their decision to wait, thus ostracizing anyone who would lack the self-discipline to just WAIT AND SEE.   And it all gets a little bit silly after a while.

   But since I've done both, I feel I have a truly diplomatic, non-biased, scientific opinion.  (ha) And that is...........

   It doesn't really matter.  There are pros/cons either way, either way is a really cool surprise, and either way doesn't affect the gender that your baby already is.  It won't change anything.

But it is STILL hard to decide.;)

So just for fun, enter your guesses below!  Which do you think Smucker baby #3 will be???