Randy and I are currently on a little getaway to San Diego, without kids, in celebration of our 8th anniversary and his 33rd birthday.   The sun is shining and the city is beautiful and the food is amazing, but I think what we've enjoyed most so far is getting in and out of a car without dealing with car seats, eating our food while it is still hot, sleeping through a night undisturbed, and walking the streets of the city without pushing a stroller or wearing an Ergo.  Oh, also talking about deep and important things without 436 interruptions.  Also reading on a plane.  Also....o.k. a lot of things.

   Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and am already starting to go a little crazy with missing them, but I also think it's important to get away alone now and then, and I wish moms would be a little easier on themselves when they do.  Because as all mothers know, any chance to get away alone with your spouse (as delightful as that prospect is), is inevitably accompanied by a tidal wave of "Mom-guilt".

   For those of you who may not be parents yet and are unfamiliar with the term, allow me to explain.  "Mom-guilt" is a popular phrase currently used to describe any feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy, as it applies to motherhood.  The definition of "mom-guilt" according to the Urban dictionary, is "Guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children." Although I think that could be amended because, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think women experience a lot of mom-guilt associated with working as well.  Anyway, moving on.

   I'm not sure when this started, but I wish I could go back in time and interview mothers from every generation since the beginning to time, to pinpoint when and where this phenomenon first occurred.  Was it not an issue in the past because Moms just strapped their babies to their backs and went everywhere with them?  I wonder what the first recorded instance ever was of a mother leaving her child.  Did a hunter-gatherer leave her children in the teepee, playing with sticks as she went out to gather herbs?  Or did they always come along?  Or were they off playing all day, and only came back when it was dinner time?  We may never know.

  The point is, in our culture today, "Mom-guilt" has become so standard of a catch-phrase and ingrained in our thinking, that it has influenced and shaped our decisions and rationale.  And so today I just wanted to take a look at some of the most popular "myths of mom-guilt" as I refer to them, and see what they mean for our lives today.

1. "Our children should always come first."
   Actually, contrary to popular belief, your children didn't make you a family, they joined your family.  The day of your wedding you became a family.  And the beginning of the institution of your family (your marriage) is important and valuable and should be treated as such.

2. "We won't ever "have these years with them back again."
   That is true. And these little years are precious, that's for sure. But you also won't ever have these years of your marriage back again.  And what you will have, years down the road, is an empty house after the children have grown up and married and moved away, and there's a chance that the person left to do life with will be a stranger to you, if you haven't maintained a relationship with them over the years.

3. "Taking "me-time" is selfish."
   I actually know a mom who for YEARS subscribed to this line of thought.  I cringed every time I heard her say it, and it pained me to watch her decline any opportunity for time away from her children, all the while she seemed drained and tired and worn thin from the constant demand on her time.  How badly I wished she would take a break now and then.  Even if only to catch her breath, and come back to her husband and children refreshed and renewed and ready to be a wife/mom again with energy and vision.

4. "I can't leave them, they need me!"
    What they need more than anything in the world, is to know that they are loved and cherished and valued by Jesus, and by their parents.  And if they don't already know that, than I'm sorry to say, but skipping the ladies' night out isn't going to teach them that either, unfortunately.  They need is to see Mommy and Daddy loving each other, loving Jesus and loving them.  And if they see and know these things to be absolute truth, than leaving them for a short time is not going to un-root those truths from their hearts.

5.  "I am the only one that can see to their needs."
   I also cringe when I see/hear moms that act as if they are the only person in the world that can take care of their children.  What about Daddy?  What about Grandma?  What about cousins and aunts and other family?  I think it is so valuable to allow other people and relationships into our children's lives.  Trusting that they are loving and healthy and safe, of course.  But these other relationships will only add meaning and beauty and richness and depth to our children's lives, not detract from our own with them.  And we would be wise to allow it.

    Of course part of me is writing this post to assuage aforementioned Mom-guilt.  Ha.  I said these myths need to go, I didn't say I was immune to them!  I mean come on, we're not robots.  It's impossible to spend any amount of time whatsoever away from these precious little souls that have so completely captured our hearts, our minds and our energy.  They are our flesh and blood.  It would actually be a little bit strange (and a little bit sad) if our leaving them didn't bother us at all.  And so don't fight the fact that it bothers you.  But just because it tugs at those heart strings doesn't mean you shouldn't ever take that break.

   I trust that you hear my heart when you're reading this.  I'm sure there will be those that intend to find error in my words and misunderstand my intent, but I ask you to please have an open-mind.  Of course I'm not talking about disregarding every bit of our intuition and shutting ourselves off emotionally, forcing ourselves to leave and go when everything within us is telling us to stay.  I'm not talking about that.  You know your child.  You know your marriage.  You can listen to your heart, you don't have to become deaf and blind to your maternal instincts in order to take a little break.  I am just saying we need to do away with basing those decisions on guilt that usually isn't founded.  We need to base our decisions on love and trust and it's between us and our husbands and God and we need to give ourselves the freedom to do that, without burying ourselves under a mountain of "mom-guilt".  Anyway.

I rambled there at the end because sometimes I just can't quite think of the words to explain what's on my mind.  But nevertheless, I hope you hear my heart in all of this.  Because we're all in this together.  And I can't WAIT to get back to those little dears but I am deeply appreciating this time of quiet connection with Randy so much.  And I wish the same for you...that you can find a way to love your husband and children and God and be kind to yourself, without any guilt or shame.


 

 


So the other day I posted on my Instagram story (for those unfamiliar with Instagram, "stories" are videos that disappear after a day, unlike the photos that remain in your feed) which received a lot of feedback, and so I thought I would do a blog post about the subject.  Unfortunately, unless you follow me and happened to see the videos, they are already gone and so you won't be able to go back and watch it now.  Maybe I should've saved it.  Oops.

In any case, I'll try and sum them up to bring you up to date before sharing the feedback I received.

   To make a long story short, I was talking about friendship.  It's a topic that has been weighing heavily on my mind for quite some time now, and that particular day, I just really needed to hear from others who may (or may not) have been feeling/thinking some of the same things I was.  I just needed to know I wasn't alone.

   I asked people to give thoughts/opinions/advice etc., on how they maintain friendships in this stage of life.  And the reason I say "this stage of life" is because I feel like it was so much easier when I was younger.  Making new friends came easily to me, and everywhere I went I met new people, formed new friendships, and enlarged my circles.  Today, however, friendships require time, intention and emotional energy that I don't always feel like I have left over after the many needs of my family.

  Not to mention the times in friendship that I realize I am wanting/expecting something out of it that the other person is not wanting to give.  And that's OK.  Unfortunately for me, I am an ENFP (if you're into the Meyer's-Briggs personality testing) which means that I can't stand the shallow, surface-only friendship thing.  I want to plunge deeply into intimacy with pretty much everyone I know.  This is a problem.

Here's an excerpt describing ENFPs (like me) when it comes to friendship:

As friends, ENFPs are cheerful and supportive, always sharing and developing ideas, and staying open-minded, taking in others’ thoughts and feelings. This warmth and sincerity makes people with the ENFP personality type masters of drawing people out of their shells, and as a result they tend to have a huge circle of friends.

More outgoing types will naturally gravitate towards them, but ENFPs will also go to great lengths and be surprisingly persistent in their efforts to get to know more reserved personalities. Their ability to tune into others and speak their language with that characteristic infectious enthusiasm helps them in this endeavor, and the allure of mystery that reserved types, especially Introverted Intuitives, bring to the table will keep ENFPs intrigued for years. These personality types may never be able to reciprocate the breadth of human interest that ENFPs present, but they do appreciate ENFPs’ efforts.

But ENFPs’ interest in others can be a double-edged sword – this pure idealism comes with certain expectations, and too often ENFPs hold their friends in an unrealistic light, expecting them to keep up with the constant flow of ideas and experiences that they consider integral to life. ENFPs put their whole hearts into their friendships, and it can come as a shock for them to find that their friends aren’t the flawless Titans that they believed them to be. Whether it’s simple social fatigue or a focus on the physical and the practical instead of the mystical, people with the ENFP personality type can find themselves disappointed by what they see as a lack of substance beneath the surface.

ENFPs tend to get deeply involved in others’ lives, going to great lengths and efforts to be the selfless, caring and supportive people they are, and all the while forget to take care of themselves. Both in terms of basic needs like financial stability and rest, as well as more emotional needs like mutual understanding and reciprocation, ENFP personalities tend to give much more of themselves than most are even capable of giving back. This sort of imbalance isn’t sustainable, as (seemingly) one-sided generosity often leads to criticism and resentment on both sides.

Luckily, ENFPs are open-minded and sincere enough in their friendships, and connect with and understand even their acquaintances well enough, that they recognize that not everyone expresses themselves in the same ways, and that that’s okay. Their sensitivity may make it too challenging to play with more critical and argumentative personalities, such as strongly expressed Thinking (T) and Judging (J) types, but they do appreciate, even cherish, the company of most anyone who appreciates theirs, and the adventures and experiences they have together are the stuff a good life is made of.

  If you lasted long enough to read through all of that, then you now know about all there is to know about me when it comes to friendships.  Maybe I should just walk around with all of this written in fine print on my forehead so that people can know what they're getting into when they become my friend.  Anyway, I digress.

   So I put some of my thoughts out there, and asked for feedback, and hoped I wasn't alone.  And lo and behold, there's a WHOLE HEAP of people out there that feel the very same way.  I received a plethora of response, both saying "I agree but I don't have any advice and please share what you learn!" and also, "Here's some things that have helped me".  And so since I found both to be informative and encouraging, and helpful, I will share from both sides.  No names are mentioned of course, but to those of you who wrote in, you know who you are, and I still wish so badly I could give you a giant hug, and sit down with you over a cup of coffee, and talk about everything (everything BUT the weather) that's going on in our hearts together.

Here's what people had to say:

I kinda feel like every time you post, you're reading my mind.
I completely agree with everything you said about struggling with friendships.
I don't know the answer.
I have no good advice, but I'm in the exact same boat.
Please write a post on the answers you receive! 
I have no advice, but I want to know how to do the friendship thing too! 
No answers here, but I'd love to hear what others say!
Such a hard stage of life and at the end of the day there is just no emotional energy left over for friendships.
I hope you do a recap on the feedback! 
I also crave deep friendships--surface friendships are harder to maintain.
I'm currently in the process of letting go of an unhealthy relationship and it's so hard.
I'm so there with you!
I struggle with this too. 
I don't have it figured out either so if you have more advice I'd love to hear it! 
I need deep friendships!  It's easy to feel empty when you're just "momming". 
I hope if I can just survive these years with my sanity intact, it will be different some day? 
I struggle with feeling like I don't belong because my friendships don't go deeper---we were created for intimacy.
I've had my feelings hurt so many times by friendships that were only surface and not deep. 
I tend to want to be deep close friends with everyone and I've learned not everyone wants that.
I feel like I'm too intense for people because I desire depth of friendship.  
I want to be everyone's best friend and hear their entire heart, hurts, and life plans upon meeting.

That last line is like someone crawled into my brain and took a picture and then sent it to me.  Seriously.  And then here are some things people shared that have helped them:

Learn the zones of friendship---The close, The acquaintance, and The at-arms-length people.
Learn your personality and how to engage with people with opposing personalities. 
Learn how to put up your guard and not jump in too fast with some people.
Accept that some people are toxic and it's OK to let them go and not feel guilty over it.  
Stick to a few "truest true" friends.
Build the relationship, and be there waiting and ready for when they're willing to open up.
Be more intentional about your inner circle.
Let go of friendships that are not edifying to either of you.
Send an "I'm praying for you" text.
Invite them over for coffee.
Schedule a play date.
Meet for a walk or sit by the lake.
Get together with a group and all take turns hosting.
Go to Bible study.
Send snail mail or make something for them.
Make the effort to get together.
Ask them what's been on their hearts.
Show you care.
Do life together.
Hospitality.

 I sincerely hope this post can be of help and encouragement to you in some way.  It filled my heart with hope to know that, A. Friendship is HARD (it's not just in my head) and B. I am not alone in this (like the enemy would have me believe).

And I'll just end with the caption on this photo of my daughters (seen above) that I posted earlier today on Instagram....

"And in the end THIS RIGHT HERE is why I care so much about friendship. Not so that I can have a group of close friends that care about me and spend time with me, although those things are nice. But because I want to be able to show my daughters what friendship looks like. How friends support one another, encourage one another, give each other the benefit of the doubt. Friends don't speak ill of one another, don't give in to jealousy, and never, ever compare. Friends don't feel threatened by one another, or assume that someone else's strengths makes them weaker, or less than. Friends know that there's actually strength in numbers, and that all of our different gifts and talents are actually a beautiful thing, because that only means we can help each other out. THIS is what friendship means to me. The burden of responsibility weighs heavily to fight culture's lies, and pass on the truth about friendship to the next generation." 

Hello friends!

  Are you tired today? I'll admit, I'm a little weary right now.  Archer is still getting up at night, enjoys mauling faces (see above) William is an active little guy who wants to play outside every day and we live where it rains all the time, and the girls need someone to do school with them.  The laundry has a tricky habit of staying 7 steps ahead of me and my spring cleaning list is hiding its head in shame right now.  And so I'm not really up for diving deep into philosophy, theology, psychology, or any other -ology today.  Let's just look at some things I've been loving lately, shall we?

Enjoy.:)

   Root Pretty makeup.  I ain't 23 anymore, and so it's time to start getting a little more intentional about my skin care regimen. I've started buying this makeup because all of their products are made with natural, skin-loving ingredient and no fillers. Plus, it's based in Iowa and I love feeling a small tie to my old home state. Here are some of my favorite products:
Face---This moisturizer, and the Pretty Booster.  Choose the color closest to your skin tone for a lightweight primer and anti-aging moisturizer.  You can follow with powder foundation for a more finished look, or just use this instead of foundation, like I often do!  You will love it.
Blush---They have so many amazing colors it can be hard to decide, but I have and love Merlot (a deeper burgundy, perfect for fall/winter) and Punch Love (light pink and peachy tone, perfect for spring/summer).
Lipstick---I only have "Bell" (a light, summery peach/orange tone) in the lipsticks, but "Kate"is next on my list to try! For a lighter color, moisturized option, try the lip balms! I like Merlot and Paris.
Brows---I don't even pluck my eyebrows but they're still very naturally thin, so I am loving this pomade to add fullness and definition.    
If you do choose to order, pretty please (see what I did there:) use this link, and it will give me points to use towards earning free product.

   Recently, I've started a series of sorts on my Instagram where I post about my latest frugal finds and thrifted fashion.  What started out as something I didn't think would really interest people has received a lot of positive feedback, and I realized that it can be kind of refreshing to see second-hand fashion promoted in a world that shouts "NEWER IS BETTER!" all of the time.  But the main pain about thrifting is definitely the sacrifice of time.  Obviously it's difficult with small children and disappointing when you brave a trip and go home with nothing.  Enter, Thredup!  A friend told me about this site and I loved the idea of second-hand shopping online. And use my referral link to get $10 off your first order!

 After hearing it recommended from many different sources, I scooped up this book at a garage sale and am using it to teach our girls to read.  Jocelyn is 6 and Charlotte is 4.5, and it's been working so well.  They are starting to read beginner level books, and it's so exciting to watch their progress.

  I know like, seriously NOTHING about hair.  Nothing.  I mostly wear a top knot or a braid of some kind because I have no idea what else to do with it.  Because of my lack of hair knowledge, I have learned to listen to others who actually know what they're doing.  And so when Grace recommended this product for fine, flat, thin hair and I was like, "RUNNNNN!!!!!"  Basically, my hair is super straight, fine, and wants to lay perfectly flat all of the time.  I know what you're thinking, "Man, that sounds nice, I wish my hair would do that!" WRONG.  You're only thinking that because you have curly/frizzy hair, and my guess is that if you have hair like that, you also have a little magical thing called TEXTURE.  And that is something that my hair will never, ever, even try to have on its own.  Isn't it funny how all the curly/wavy haired women wish for straight hair, and all the straight-haired ones wish for curls? That's because if you have natural wavy hair and straighten it, it actually looks good!  Even straight, it will still have bounce and body.  When my hair lays straight, I look like a drowned rat.  Or one of those hipster, Millennial guys that just took down his man-bun.  Lovely.  And so if your hair is like mine and is fine and flat, tends to get greasy fast and has ZERO body, then use this stuff.

   My sister-in-law and I have been discussing the many health benefits and supposed merits of this product lately, and I need allllllll the advice.  Is it worth the money?  Does it work? Capsules or liquid? Flavored or not?  If any of you out there are experienced users, leave me a comment or shoot me an email and help a girl out!!

   That's all for today, now it's your turn! Tell me about the things you've been loving lately, I'd love to hear.






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Here's a brief list of 6 things I don't understand (and probably never will).  Ten would have sounded cooler than six, but my kids are grumpy and I need to go make supper. So six it is.

1. How to fold a fitted sheet.
   I know, I know, there's lots of tutorials online, but I still don't know if I will ever find it within myself to A. learn and B. actually do it once I know how.  Whatever, life is too short.

2. When people are so in tune with their bodies they always know every single little thing they have ever felt or experienced, and can theorize possible causes, cures, and explanations.  
   For example: "Remember the second Tuesday of last month, when I had that cup of coffee at 2:00 in the afternoon?  Well after that I noticed I was feeling a little lightheaded and that's when I remembered, I had eaten yogurt in the past few days.  And so I just know that when I mix caffeine with dairy, I have a little reaction, and I think it's my gut health. I had noticed this for the first time when I used Coffee mate creamer in my coffee, and so I just switched brands, but then I had a little rash and so I KNEW it was something else and so then I tried switching my lotion to essential oils but then I started having headaches and so then I..........."  I am so far the opposite way it's not even funny.  I would have to have something drastic, obvious and extreme happen to me like EVERY SINGLE DAY for a month to even realize it was happening.  This is not a good thing,  I know.  Someday I will probably die from a very preventable illness simply because, I will be completely oblivious to the fact that it is even happening.

3.  People that always know their "favorite".  
   If you asked me my favorite book, movie, music, food, color, animal, etc.etc.etc. I would have to think for an embarrassing amount of time.  I'm not even sure that I could give you definitively, an answer to any of those.  I don't know if this means I am widely varied in tastes and interests, or that I am just terribly indecisive.  I can't decide.  ;)

4. Words millennials use.
 "I mean, that is like, so totes adorbs it slays me.  I can't even.  It is so on point, on fleek, like DEAD.  I mean, totally bae, am I right?  That vibe is just so authentic and real it is LIT. I'm going to plug it on my IG. Hashtag relevant!"  I just died a little inside writing all of that.

5. Big families that go skiing.
   Like, when did these kids learn how to do that?  I mean, I get the whole, "Let's try something new and go on an adventure" thing, but they had to learn sometime, right?  No one goes out there and aces the moguls on the first try. I just would love to know how one goes about teaching little ones to do that.  And I'm talking LITTLE.  Like sometimes, preschool age.  So you buy all the expensive equipment, outfits and gear, drive 3 hours, pay for the passes, spend 45 minutes getting dressed, trudge out there....and what happens when your kids don't even want to try?  It's 7:00 am and freezing cold and your kid is crying and begging to go back inside the lodge to drink hot cocoa and you're gonna....what?  Push them down the hill? Drag them by your ski pole? Carry them? I just....I have no words.

6.  Moms who wear high heels casually. 
   I love a good pair of heels as much as the next girl, but they have their time and place, am I right?!  I mean, you're at Disneyland chasing around kids for miles in 4 inch heels?! Are you going straight from there to the emergency room later?  And I'm no expert, but I'm sure your vacation in Italy walking all over the city touring museums and restaurants and shopping would be a little more enjoyable in something that doesn't make you feel like someone is stabbing your calves with tiny little ice picks.  I even saw a picture on Instagram one time of a mom pushing a full grocery cart, flanked by her little kids, and wearing killer (as in, they looked awesome and also as in, how they probably felt) heels.  Grocery shopping in heels??  I think that level of misery is what they invented marathons for.

That's all for now. Comment with something you can't understand either.  Humor me.

  I happened across these pictures the other day and thought that while I was thinking of it, I would QUICKLY try and re-cap Shelby and Keilah's wedding!  It won't be nearly as detailed or as interesting as Ranee's post about it, and so you should just check that out over here on her blog.

   Traveling with littles is never easy, and so we got creative this time around.  I was a little apprehensive about flying with 4 under 6, and so my mom came out a few weeks before the wedding, and when she flew home, she took Jocelyn and Charlotte with her.  They had an absolute BLAST with their grandma, and it was so nice knowing they were in such good hands and having so much fun, AND that we would only have to fly out with two.   I missed them a lot, and realized how much they actually help me when they weren't there anymore.  Even when they're not actually playing with William, I think they are just an entertaining/calming presence for him and without them there, it just felt like two babies with constant needs.

   And so it wasn't so much the "big break" I was thinking it might be, but it definitely was worth it.  They talk about it as if it was the highlight of their entire short lives (and probably is) and can't wait to do it again some day.  We tried to FaceTime often, and Jocelyn got a little sad and wistful one time which totally broke my heart.  I wanted to drop everything and fly right out there.  But they made it, and we made it, and the reunion was hugs and shrieks and everything I hoped it would be.  And then it was on to the wedding festivities!!

   This wedding was a special one.  Well, they all are, but this one was especially so because I played a little matchmaking role in it all.  I know, blah blah blah, if you know me at all you've probably heard at least two different 10-minute versions of this story by now.  But in case you HAVEN'T, I am more than delighted to recount this fairy, merry, tale. :)

  I had this friend, Ranee....sort-of, kind-of, online.  I know, it's weird, we hadn't even met in real life yet, but she was just one of those people I knew would be a friend in real life, if we WOULD meet, you know?  And guess what. I was totally right.  She's awesome.  And even if nothing else had come of this all, I think it would still be a pretty cool story because I would have made a pretty cool fried.  But two beautiful souls joining together forever as one?!?  BONUS.


   So Ranee messages me one day and says, "I think I met your brother Shelby today".  Long story short, he works for my dad in the family AC/Heating business, and had gone on a service call to Ranee's house.  In typical Graber fashion, he was friendly and outgoing and great with her kids, and made an impression on her.  So she told me she had a single sister-in-law that she thought would be about his age and should we try and set them up on a date?  If he's single, of course.

   My immediate thought was "Sure, why not!"  Shelby needs a little push now and then, and I really wanted him to meet a nice Christian girl and SETTLE DOWN ALREADY.  He knows I love him, I can say that. Ha.  But then I started thinking, "How does this even work, exactly? I've never set someone up before.  Do I give her his information for her to pass on to Keilah?  Do I tell him her number and he just calls her out of the blue?  Do we tell either of them anything and just try to spring it on both of them as a blind date surprise??" I was a little lost.

   Eventually we settled on telling them both what we were doing, and so it would break the ice, and if nothing else, they could get together for a cup of coffee and laugh about how their crazy sisters wanted them to meet up.  And so that's what they did.  I gave Shelby her number and he set up a coffee date and they met and talked for hours.  Instant connection.  He left that coffee date nervous and giddy and floating on air, and I knew.  KNEW it.  This was different.  He had never been like this before.  And it didn't take a detective to sleuth out that they were pretty perfect for each other.

   Anyway, so trying to keep this brief, fast forward to exactly one year after I texted Shelby her number TO THE DAY......and we were watching them stand at the altar, vowing to love, honor and prefer one another in Christ, for as long as they both shall live.  Pass the Kleenex, please.



   It was a beautiful ceremony.  They each sang and played a song to one another and wrote their own vows.  We all sang in worship together and it was such a holy, God-filled service and I was a blubbering mess, obviously.  6 weeks postpartum and front row seats to a couple I helped set up?!  Hello.

    This wedding was also special because Shelby lived with us for two years while he volunteered for Gospel Echoes NW, and was out here while Charlotte was born.  So by the time she was two, she didn't really know a family or a life without Uncle Shelby in it.  I think she honestly thought he was in our family and then one day he was just gone.  We just lost a member.  They've always shared a little connection and whenever he is out to Oregon again it is a joyous occasion.  So needless to say, we would have been critical about just any girl entering Uncle Shelby's life, and with Keilah?  We're not sure who is the luckier one. :)

   I feel like I haven't really been able to take it all in and enjoy the little moments with my siblings' weddings like I would've liked to with all my little ones needing me.  I missed the rehearsal (for both brothers' weddings) because I was decorating for the rehearsal dinner.  Big and pregnant at Shawn's, and then wearing a baby on my back and chasing after an active toddler at Shelby's.  At Shawn's I ran out of time getting ready and had no time for my hair, and so I threw a hat on and called it good.  At Shelby's I ran out of time finishing up all the little girls and threw my hair up into braids and a bun and I never, ever, EVER feel all put together.  I never get around and talk to everyone I'd like to, and by the time the reception rolled around my feet were killing me so badly in those heels, I considered going barefoot the rest of the time.  I had to go to a bathroom and half-undress to nurse because hello, dresses aren't nursing friendly!  We juggled nap times and grumpy babies, and at one point I think ALL FOUR of my children were sleeping on someone's lap, somewhere, at the reception.

   But guess what.  It's still a wedding, it's still a beautiful day, and I've learned that it really doesn't matter at all whether I have lipstick on or my hair looks nice.  Shoot, at this point I'll just aim for all of the kids at least dressed and with shoes on.  And if we can't manage to get a nice family picture?  Oh well.  We have the memories.

   And the memories always look a little rosier and shinier and sparklier in our minds than they were in reality anyway. :)




SaveSave

"How does she do it all?!"

    There's always that one person who seems to be doing it all.  Gifted in every area, possessing strengths in every possible attribute, they know and do it all with grace and ease.  They are simultaneously running a business, raising babies, crafting, sewing, gardening, canning, volunteering on the weekends and organizing a food drive for the homeless, all the while serving on 3 different committees and are head of the PTA.

Meanwhile, some of us can't even seem to get our laundry done.

   But I assure you, no matter how or what it seems, they aren't "doing it all".  Sure, they are doing a lot of things, and maybe even a lot of really GREAT things, but they aren't doing it all.  No one is.

   Recently, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Inspired to Action,  and Kat Lee had on Jess Connolly as a guest.  You can check it out HERE.  If you don't know who Jess is, she's a successful author and blogger, with all kinds of amazing things going on for her.  She is definitely one of those that I am tempted to look at and think, "How in the world does she raise 4 children and still do it all?!"

But guess what.  She doesn't.

   She shared on the podcast about how everyone has their "to-do lists" and while those are obviously helpful and important, she think it's just as important to have a "Don't-Do list".  Sure, go ahead and take time to jot down ideas and items for your to-do list, and then think about some things that you're going to let go of.  Leave alone.  Just, NOT do.  Because we all know by now, we can't do it all.  So why do we keep trying?

   For example, she shared some of the things on her "Don't-do List".  Once a week maybe, she uses real dishes.  For all of the other days, it's paper plates.  And cooking?  She doesn't cook, her husband does.  Oh and come to think of it, he does the laundry too.  Turns out there's quite a few things she just "doesn't do".  Like birthday parties.  That's right, no parties.  Just a day (or evening) spent hanging out with family and cousins for their celebration.  Take that, Pinterest.

   And while she was saying these things and I was trying to pick up my jaw from off the floor, the podcaster (Kat Lee) was nodding in agreement.  "Oh yeah my husband does the cooking too."  So THAT'S how these successful women do it all.  Turns out they DON'T!  And I hope that thought is as freeing for you as it was for me.

Here are some items on my "Don't-Do List".  Not all of these are blanket statements, and they certainly aren't permanently on the Don't-do-list, but they are somewhat for now:

1. Decorating for every change in season or holiday. 
  I don't decorate for "spring" and I don't think I've ever even tried for Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, 4th of July....o.k. so basically I decorate for Christmas.  The rest of the year I just try and keep my house (somewhat) clean.  That's it.

2. Gardening and canning. 
   This is not to say I've never canned or had a garden, because I have done both, and I hope to get back into it in the future.  But this past year, I didn't do any canning, and the little garden that we had suffered.  I knew that I was in over my head already with expecting our 4th baby at the end of summer, and so I just decided to let the canning go.  And I have been so glad that I did.

3. A lot of extra commitments. 
   I have been learning to say "no" perhaps more than ever before, and it has been life-saving. Whether it is small things like singing on the worship team at church, or bigger responsibilities, I have been carefully evaluating each "yes" that I give, and because of the demands on my time these days, it means a lot less "yes" and a lot more "no".  It won't always be this way, but it is for now.  For example, you may remember me starting an Etsy shop with a friend last spring....yes, well I am a little embarrassed to say I didn't even make it through one whole year before backing out of that.  My friend kept the shop open, and so you can still check it out for your baby needs!  I am just no longer involved.  And as humbling as it is to realize that you can't do it all, you NEED to realize that.  For the sake of your own sanity, and your loved ones.

4. Photography.
   I used to take photo shoots of my kids a LOT.  And I would edit all of the pictures, and post them to my blog, and make little Shutterfly books and....no.  Just no.  Now I snap photos with my phone and post on Instagram, and that's about it.  We occasionally get Chapbooks made of them, but that's all. And you know what? So far we've all survived.

5. Ironing.
   This is not a new item on my don't-do-list, as it has basically never even been a "to-do" in the first place.  I will occasionally iron an especially wrinkly item of clothing before needing it for a certain event.  That is it.  No regular ironing.

   Well, that's all I can think of for now, but I'm seriously thinking about testing out the no-cooking theory with my husband.  I think it's safe to say the entire world would be a better place if that could happen.  He actually enjoys it, is interested in it, and is very good at it, as opposed to me, who cooks because it's healthier and cheaper than take-out.  That's the only reason why.  I wish I enjoyed it and thrived on it like so many seem to, but I just don't.

   Also, I clean my house, but I don't have anything even remotely CLOSE to a cleaning schedule.  I just try to keep it above the level of chaos as much as possible.  One time I was reading this blog, and the blogger was talking about changing bedding and said *insert slightly aghast tone* "I wouldn't say you have to change them every day but PLEASE tell me you don't go longer than a week".  That's not a direct quote, but it was something to that effect.  And all I could think of was, "I certainly hope you don't EVER discover how often (or not often) I wash everybody's sheets."  I also feel that way when I hear about people who vacuum and/or mop every day.  But ANYWAY.  Moving on before you all think I'm a disgusting slob who never cleans anything.....

   I just think we need need NEED to remember that we don't have to do it all.  And even if everyone else was (which they're not) we still wouldn't need to.  For those that seem to? Well, we don't know how often they have a "mother's helper" or a babysitter or even hire a housecleaner.  We don't know how much their families help out, if they are blessed enough to be surrounded by family.  We don't know how often their husbands do the dishes, or the cooking, or BOTH (I know mine does at times).  And we don't see the things they've let go of, or said no to, to be able to write that book, produce that podcast, or run that business.

   We need to just have the self-confidence to realize that even if we're not doing everything straight out of Becky Home-ecky's handbook, it's OK.  We're ok. Our families are ok.  And as long as our husbands and children know they are safe and loved and cherished and valued, then who gives a care about whether all of the laundry is done?

   OH and speaking of laundry, they reference that very topic in the episode I linked.  WHAT is with our obsession with getting the laundry done?  I mean, seriously? You do realize that even while you dry, fold and put away that last, final load, you are wearing clothes that will need washing, right?  THE LAUNDRY WILL NEVER BE FINISHED UNTIL WE ARE ALL DEAD.  So just keep enough clean clothes in drawers somewhere for people to wear the next day, and stop freaking out already.  Laundry can wait.  I can't even tell you how many summer days these past few years I let the laundry piles sit and we went to the park, or swam in the river, or played outside.

   And guess what.  When I am old and gray and surrounded by neatly folded piles of socks and towels, I wouldn't trade a single one of those memories to be able to go back and do a load of laundry.  

Happy Monday, folks!  Put something on your don't-do-list today.  

Hello there!

  Over on Instagram I've started this fun little project where I share some of my thrifted finds.  Don't get me wrong, I love Instagram, but for a media platform that is primarily visual, it's certainly saturated with images of new clothes, new jewelry, new shoes, new home decor......everything is the latest and greatest and new, new, new.  And if I'm not careful, it can start to foster this ungrateful spirit in me, and an unhealthy desire to shop all the things.

   And even though I know the problem lies with me and not others, it can be frustrating to constantly see homes and wardrobes that are portrayed as normal and for the "every man" but I can spot specific brands and I know prices and I just can't afford to spend that.

   So that's when I decided to start posting outfits that are entirely (or mostly) thrifted, to help remind myself and others that it doesn't have to break the bank to be nice, or to suit your style.

   I love thrifting and it's always been my primary method of shopping, but it's not for everyone. For one, having small children has put a SERIOUS cramp in my style in the thrifting department. It's hard to go often and for long amounts of time, and both of those are key to finding good deals.

  I've tried shopping on Thred-up, the online second-hand store, and have had some success!  If you want to try it out too, please use my link here.  You'll get $10 off your first order and I'll get $10 when you do! Win-win.  Anyway, back to people that don't like thrifting. The complaints I most often hear are:

"I never find anything."
"I don't have the time."
"The thrift stores in my area aren't any good."
"I can never find the right sizes."

   And while I agree with some of these (thrift stores back East are definitely nicer) I would say that if you want to find good deals thrifting, you need to keep an open mind.

1.  Be patient. 
   I posted a picture one time of what I would call a really good haul from Goodwill, and I received comments saying "I never have that kind of luck!" But what people didn't realize is how long it took me to find those things.  I went on a day when I didn't have the kids along, and I took my sweet time. By the time it was all said and done, I think I had spent 3 hours in there.  Yeesh.  And so yes, I found a lot of great things that time but I certainly paid for it IN TIME.  And that right there is the key...you are going to pay for clothes one way or another.  The difference is whether you want to pay in dollars or time.

2.  Don't get discouraged.
   So the last time you went you found nothing.  Nada.  Zero.  Big deal!  That is part of thrifting.  It's not Target.  You can't walk in and find exactly what you want, in the right size and the right color in 5 minutes.  But that's part of the beauty of it all.  One time you may get nothing and the next time you will find 7 things.  It's the thrill of the hunt.  Like I said, it's not for everyone, but you can't get discouraged and give up after the first few tries.

3.  Have an open mind.
   O.k. so it's October and you really need a new sweater, but you just found the perfect summer dress.  Great fit, beautiful print, and quality brand.  BUY IT.  Just because it's not the right season or what you were needing specifically at that time, doesn't mean you shouldn't score on what will probably be your favorite go-to-outfit this coming summer.  You need to be on the lookout for things you don't even realize you need.  Keep your mind open as you scan the aisles.

4. Think outside the box.
   You've been wanting a denim or military vest and can't seem to ever find the right one.  So buy a denim (or military) jacket and cut the sleeves off.  (That's what I did to the denim vest you see pictured above) You want longer, knee-length denim shorts instead of the booty ones at Target.  Buy a pair of Goodwill jeans and cut them off.  You get the idea.

5.  Keep a running list.
    Start a list of things you want to keep an eye out for while thrifting (puffy coat, rain boots, brass lamp, etc.) and add to it, crossing off when found.  It makes it a lot easier to zip through the sections, just keeping an eye out for key items without wasting time looking through every little thing.  For example, I have a weakness for a pretty basket, but each time I went to Target, I simply couldn't bring myself to pay full price for a basket.  So I started just keeping an eye out for them every single time I went into Goodwill, and before long, I had a collection of a lot of really beautiful, woven, unique baskets that cost me probably several dollars each.  WINNING.

6.  Give Barnes & Noble a run for their money.
   Some thrift stores alphabetize their books and even by categories, and so it makes it really easy to look for a specific book.  Have a running list of books you'd like to buy and every so often, look for them.  You might be surprised what you will find! Oh and Bibles.  There are almost always Bibles there! And those are so expensive new.

7. Be picky.
   This might seem to contradict the whole premise of thrifting, but if you keep this in mind, it will help you avoid buyer's remorse.  Obviously these items have been owned before, so if you buy a brand like Old Navy or Rue21, it's probably not going to hold up much longer.  But if it's J. Crew,   Land's End, or Boden, your chances of it staying nice are a lot higher.

8.  Shop with something in mind. 
   It's a lot easier to locate, and make a decision on a belt when I have a specific outfit in mind that needs a specific one.  Or spotting a pair of lamps when I have in mind a place for them to go.  Evaluate the things you need, check that list that you've been adding to, and shop around with a plan in mind.  You'll be amazed at what you find.

9.  Try it on.  
   This seems gross to some people and I totally get it, sometimes it does seem a little nasty.  But even stuff at Target has probably been tried on before you.  Trying things on helps guarantee that you are going to love and wear the item, and you don't just end up with more junk. Which leads right into my last point....

10.  LOVE it or leave it. 
   I used to get sucked into "the good deal" aspect of thrifting.  "I know what this is full-price so this is a really good deal!" I would think to myself, and end up buying things I didn't really love.  And then they would just end up in my summer garage sale.  So save yourself the trouble, and just say NO unless you truly, really, love it.  Otherwise it's not worth it, even if it is technically, a great deal.

   Well that's all I have for today.  I would love to hear back from you on some of your thrifting tips!  Like I said, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but it's definitely mine, and....you can...pour me another glass. I didn't know how to end that and yes, I promise not to do that again.

It's Friday people, have a great weekend!

Well hello there.

   I am back "on the grid" after not having a phone for over a week.  I know, I know, first world problems, but it definitely taught me a thing or two.  And so, because everyone loves a bulleted list now and then, I give you:

Five Things I learned without a phone for a week:

1. It showed me who my real friends are.     
   O.k just kidding. (Or am I?)  I've found it doesn't matter if you have hundreds of "friends" on Facebook or thousands of followers elsewhere.  When it comes right down to it, if your phone quits and you can't contact anybody for over a week, only a handful of people will actually notice, (or in my case, about 3) and take the time to ask you about it.  And sometimes it's a surprise who those few people actually turn out to be.  With this new communication age of social media, it provides a constant platform for what I like to call "faux connection".  You feel "connected" to everyone just by glancing at pictures of what they are doing online, but that's not real connection at all.  And if you think it's real, just watch and see what happens when you (or they) don't post anymore and you realize you have no idea of what's going on in their lives and no intention of asking anytime soon.  Because you're not really "real" friends. That proves that you weren't really connected with them in the first place.

2. I spend a lot more time on it than I think I do. 
    I tend to scoff a little bit at those blog posts circulating the internet about how much we're on our phones all of the time because I don't think that I spend that much time on my phone.  Well...turns out I do.  Whether it's looking up a recipe on Pinterest while cooking dinner, tuning into a podcast while cleaning, listening to music while exercising, using Google maps to find places while I drive, sending a text to a friend, or calling to make appointments......I use it a LOT. And that's not even counting the social media usage. Which brings me to my next point.


3. It's inspiring to take a break from social media.  
   One of the most oft-used descriptors I hear attributed to Instagram is "inspiration".  But if you're being brutally honest with yourself, how often are you actually inspired after checking IG?  Unless you count being inspired to buy something that everyone seems to have.  Spoiler alert, that doesn't count.  Instead, I've found when I'm not constantly tuned into whatever everyone else is doing at every moment, I am more able to clearly think about my own goals, dreams and ideas, and not waste time convincing myself they're worthless, or someone else is already doing it better, or that I will never be as successful as this one person so why even try, etc.etc.  I am really excited about an opportunity that came about recently and I don't believe it's a coincidence that I finally had the courage to pursue it while I was "unplugged".


4. I read my Bible more.  
   Whoa, now we're getting personal! Though humbling, it's true. I read my Bible more without a phone because I still nurse Archer and so that means that I am often sitting down throughout the day, and I usually use that time to scroll on my phone.  When I used that time to read my Bible instead, I was amazed at how those little reading times actually added up.  If you're struggling to find time for your quiet time (like I was) don't wait for a big, blocked-off, 2-hour, quiet portion of time.  That won't happen until your baby graduates.  Just take little moments.  I didn't usually get my Bible out when I sat down to nurse because it was only going to be a short time.  It seemed like it wouldn't be long enough to have a valuable devotional time anyway, and so I would just use my phone.  But when I decided to read the Bible even if I just had a minute or two, those minutes added up to a lot more than I realized (because doesn't it always work that way?) and before I knew it, I was making my way through a whole lot of Bible reading.  So that's my first tip, steal time for it, even if it's just a few minutes, and my second tip is to get a One-Year Bible.  I've never had one before and it is a game-changer for me.  I found mine at Goodwill for a couple bucks (try looking when you go next, they almost always have one) and I can't believe I've never tried one before.  I sit down to read and I know exactly where I am and what to read and that has always been what bogged me down before.  Anyway, I love it and you will too.  GET ONE.

5. My children just want what I want. 
   I occasionally let my kids use my phone and ironically, that was the downfall of my last one.  William decided to give it a bath.  And so we will probably have some new rules with this one, but in any case, they seemed to want it ALL THE TIME.
"Can we look at pictures?"
"Can we play a game?"
"Can we watch videos?"
Whine, whine, whine, ask, ask, ask.  It was driving me crazy.  But guess how many times they asked for my phone the week I wasn't using one? That's right, ZERO.  Because turns out, they just want what we want.  When they see us devoting time and attention to something, they want in on that.  And who can blame them?  They want US.  And we want them to want us.  And I want them to want the things I want, and so I'd better be wanting the right things.  Whew.  That's a mouthful.

   So.  This concludes my list and almost has me thinking I should try and go without a phone permanently.  Switch back to one of those landlines with the bungee cord that my kids pull on and play with while I'm making dinner.  Well, the reason I don't think that's the answer is because in many ways, cutting out temptations from our lives will always be "easier" than learning how to deal with them, but it isn't always the answer.  It takes focus and determination and intention and discipline to deal with something in our life that has the potential to help OR to harm, and that learning process is good for us.  It's refining.  It's not always pretty, or easy, and it can be downright embarrassing to realize about ourselves, but it's GOOD FOR US.

   And so yes, I'm thankful to have a phone again, but I'm also thankful for what not having one taught me.  And I intend to use it with more intention from now on.

Hold me to it.

Hello again.

   I am hoping to be able to write on here a little more often, not that I've gotten into any sort of routine of any kind (spoiler alert, I haven't) or that I've gotten my feet underneath me and I've got this "raising four little kids thing" down, because once again, I haven't.  But rather, because I am really going to try and prioritize writing more often, and just maybe breaking the silence in this space will help motivate me to keep going.

We shall see.

   Currently, one of my friends is overdue and anxiously awaiting the arrival of her sweet babe, and it has got me thinking about my own little Archer, and his sweet arrival.  He is 4 months old today, and I will echo every mother since the dawn of time in saying that I can hardly believe how fast time is going!  He has been charming us all since the day he arrived and even though my days and life are fuller and busier than ever, they are richer and sweeter too.  I am so grateful for him.

   Like with our first, we didn't know what we were having, and I was hoping for a brother for our little William but I realized that I really kind of wanted a girl too.  So ideally, I would've had boy/girl twins except for the small fact that I was due when William would be turning a mere 15 months old.  So....yeah, maybe twins wouldn't have been a walk in the park.

   We were also planning a home birth with this one, which I have secretly (or not so secretly) always wanted, but hadn't quite been able to convince my husband until child #4.  But this time he indulged me, and I hired a midwife who came to my house for every single appointment, and it was like the Heavens opened up and the angels sang.  I didn't have to drag my kids 30 minutes away to prenatal appointments, and if I happened to forget all about one and was lying in bed in my pjs when they arrived?  No big deal! We just had our appointment anyway.  I won't even tell you how many times that happened.  So yes, QUITE ideal for me.


   All 3 of my previous babies had been born overdue with one being induced, so needless to say, I was planning to go overdue.  My due date came and went, and I honestly barely noticed, because I expected it.  My sisters-in-law and I got pedicures and did a little shopping that day, and it was a nice distraction.  Actually, for the entire week after my due date, my spirits stayed fairly high.  I came and went as normal, visiting friends and going to church.  I wasn't too phased because I expected this.  But then I hit 41.  And 41 and 1 day.  41 and 2 days.  41 and 3 days.  And as the next week progressed on and on I started to get a little panicky.  Will they let me have the baby at home if I go too far overdue?  Will they try to encourage me to be induced?  Will my choices me taken from me again?  I just felt so exhausted and frustrated. I was trying with everything in my power to stay positive because I know how important mental strength is at the end, but I was getting so discouraged.



   The day I hit 42 weeks I had an appointment, and the midwives told me that if I didn't have the baby by the end of the week, I would need to transfer to the hospital.  They checked me and I was only dilated to 2.  They recommended taking castor oil the next day and I did NOT want to (and never have) but I was resigned.  I would if they thought I needed to.

   That evening, I felt contractions come and go, at times painfully, but this was nothing new.  I had been having real contractions (not just practice ones!) on and off for over a week.  And so I didn't pay too much attention.  Randy had a meeting at church and insisted that he would stay home if I wanted him too, but I was a little tired of waiting around for a baby and didn't think anything would happen that night anyway.  "I'll call you if I need to" I said.



   Around 9:00 or so that evening, my friend Esta visited me with food and flowers.  And not just a bouquet, but at least 5 or more vases of gorgeous arrangements.  That will always be one of the sweetest gestures anyone has ever done for me.  She sat down and talked with me and helped me take my mind off of my sorry state.  I remember having several contractions while she was there and smiling through them, hoping she wouldn't notice me grimacing because I was embarrassed that they would hurt and I wasn't even in "real" labor.  When she left, I distributed them around the house and it felt a little like a hospital room after a baby was born....there was just no baby yet!  Not long after she left, I realized it was fairly late and I was feeling uncomfortable enough, I didn't want to be alone, even though I was still doubtful it was real.  I called Randy sometime around 10:30 to come home from his meeting, and of course he insisted we call the midwives as soon as possible even though I wasn't sure we should.



   The midwives arrived and we all chatted as they set out their things and I bounced on the ball, and I started feeling really sheepish and embarrassed.  This wasn't labor.  Why did we call them?  This is my 4th child, I should know better by now than to call them too soon.  At 11:22 I texted a friend, "I think this is it!" because I so desperately wanted to hope that something was happening, and I wanted someone to pray.  If nothing happened that night I was going to be SO discouraged.  But then literally right after I sent the text, I felt like everything slowed down and I didn't feel like I was in labor at all. I excused myself to my bedroom for a while and told Randy I was embarrassed and I thought we should tell the midwives to go home.

   Around 11:30 I told the midwives, "I'm sorry, I just don't think this is happening tonight.  You should probably go home."  They decided they would check me, and if I hadn't progressed much from the 2cm I was that morning, then they would leave.  Much to my surprise and delight, they checked me and I was at a 7!! I felt like dancing.  I couldn't believe my ears, and I thought for a split second that she was joking, as cruel as that would've been.  But she wasn't.  She grinned and said "You are definitely in labor!"  And I wanted to cry.  In a good way.  This baby was FINALLY GOING TO COME.

   They quickly set up the birthing pool and began filling it with water and just then, little Charlotte woke up, wanting a drink.  She was so tired she didn't even seem to realize anything unusual was going on, she was just annoyed she couldn't get any water out of the sink because there was a hose connected to the faucet, ending in a giant pool in the middle of the living room.  Someone got her a drink and she went back to bed, like we do this kind of thing all the time.

  I wanted it to be just us, and I was sure the kids would be fine, but Randy was a little concerned that they would wake up and need him while I was in labor, and so he had his mom come over and stay in their room with them.

   I got into the pool around midnight, and maybe it was the water relaxing me, or distracting me, or both, but things progressed really quickly.  I had printed off some verses onto cardstock and had them laying all around, which Randy read aloud to me and gripped my hands when a contraction came.  My labors always get so intense at the end, especially the ones that are so fast, and at one point, I ripped the polo shirt Randy was wearing as I pulled on him.  To say he is the best labor partner anyone could have is an understatement.  I can't even begin to imagine going through it without him.

   And so it was on Tuesday September 12th, 12:57 am, (just 1.5 hrs after I was sure I wasn't in labor at all and tried to send the midwives home) that our sweet son was born.  Another boy!  A precious baby brother for William.  He was perfect.  I lifted him up out of the water as he was born, clutched him to my chest and sobbed.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  That moment is like nothing else in the entire world.  I would have 1,000 babies if I could for that moment alone.  Everything fades away....the pain, the wait, the agony....there is nothing and no feeling and no awareness of anything except the sweet, fresh newness of life on my chest and in my arms, and my heart is exploding into a million tiny pieces and raining down in tears onto my newborn baby's head.  I wish I could live it over and over and over again.

   Even though we didn't know what he was yet, it took me a while to even look to see because I was so caught up in that magical moment.  And then we finally looked and saw we were blessed with a BOY.  We named him Archer Flynn.  Flynn means "son of the red-haired one" and is also a nod to the middle name that both Randy and I share, "Lynn".  Archer means "bowman" and William means "resolute protector or defender" and so I love the idea of talking to my grown sons about their names and reminding them about the very real battle they will face in this life.  I hope they grow to be mighty warriors for God.



  My mother-in-law got the girls up, and I'm so glad that she did.  Jocelyn came out and saw Archer mere moments after he was born.  We were still in the tub together, cord still attached, and tears were streaming down my face for joy.  Jocelyn immediately fell into her role as 2nd mom, wanting to hold him and telling the midwives to cut the cord and giving other instructions.  Charlotte saw him a little after when I had gotten out, and the poor dear was still so tired and delirious, I'm not quite sure what all she understood.  Turns out little William slept through the entire thing.  When he woke up, he was delighted to meet this new little creature and tried his hardest to give him full-body bear hugs and poke his eyes, mouth and any other place his little fingers could reach.  I could tell he loved him from the start.  Oh, what friends those two will be.




   Life since, has not always been like a vacation.  Four little children under the age of 6 come with a lot of needs, and they are all different.  There are times I feel like I'm missing everyone and doing nothing well.  Laundry piles up and bathrooms get grimy and the girls need to learn to read and the boys need quality time and I need a nap.  Sometimes there are 2 (or more) crying at once, and it seems there is never quite enough of me to go around.  But we are learning and adjusting and growing, and His mercies are new every day.  I couldn't be more grateful and tankful for my little crew, and warts and all, they are mine and we're BLESSED.